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| Topic: Feelings of XMAS........? | |
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December is a word that has sparkly snow all over it. It's whitish-blue and there are bells on it. The background behind the word is black and maybe stars in the background. The big reason for the sparkle in December is Jesus' birthday and I musn't lose sight of that.
People are happy during this month. At least that's what they show on t.v. and in the movies. Therefore, I always feel like I should be happy but no matter what I do to pump myself up I can never get as happy as they show on t.v. Greeting cards show snowy scenes and couples in love. When people tell me "Merry Christmas!" I think to myself, "Now, what does THAT look like?" Merry Christmas. Does that mean get all gussied up in a fur coat and a present under one arm and walk in the snow with someone special? Could it ever mean get into a flannel nightgown and sit on the couch alone and watch the wood in the fireplace fall away from itself and look between tears for images in the hot cinders? But, my life is good. I could be a Pakistani slave girl living in total poverty and wishing I had something, anything to eat. But, everything is relative. I'm not in Pakistan. I'm in America and I have food and I can eat. I ask myself over and over again if anyone else craves someone sitting next to them. The other person doesn't even have to say a word. Just happy to be sitting next to me. That would be my merry Christmas. |
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December is a word that has sparkly snow all over it. It's whitish-blue and there are bells on it. The background behind the word is black and maybe stars in the background. The big reason for the sparkle in December is Jesus' birthday and I musn't lose sight of that. People are happy during this month. At least that's what they show on t.v. and in the movies. Therefore, I always feel like I should be happy but no matter what I do to pump myself up I can never get as happy as they show on t.v. Greeting cards show snowy scenes and couples in love. When people tell me "Merry Christmas!" I think to myself, "Now, what does THAT look like?" Merry Christmas. Does that mean get all gussied up in a fur coat and a present under one arm and walk in the snow with someone special? Could it ever mean get into a flannel nightgown and sit on the couch alone and watch the wood in the fireplace fall away from itself and look between tears for images in the hot cinders? But, my life is good. I could be a Pakistani slave girl living in total poverty and wishing I had something, anything to eat. But, everything is relative. I'm not in Pakistan. I'm in America and I have food and I can eat. I ask myself over and over again if anyone else craves someone sitting next to them. The other person doesn't even have to say a word. Just happy to be sitting next to me. That would be my merry Christmas.  |
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Geez, I didn't mean to bring this thread to a screeching halt! Christmas is a happy time...let's hear about yours!
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To me Christmas always meant family, well I no longer have that family. When you find that over half of your life was nothing but a big lie it takes more then your heart it takes your soul as well. But that’s OK you all enjoy I don't want to ruin it for you.
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 I just can't seem to get back into the holidays as I used to..my kids live so far away and when you're alone...lol...face it...you're alone. |
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To me Christmas always meant family, well I no longer have that family. When you find that over half of your life was nothing but a big lie it takes more then your heart it takes your soul as well. But that’s OK you all enjoy I don't want to ruin it for you. Depends on that lie? Asfor me,,my ex lied throughout a sixteen year marriage. and I never told ONE truth to my oldest son,,,,until HE was 22 years old,,,,and that I wasn't his real birth father... So sometimes a lie,,,and be done to hurt you with. yet another one, might be for reasons of you unstanding, later. Though in ways I had to lie to my son as he grew,,,I felt that had I told him earier,,,,it might have turned him toward the dark sides of living,,,as his real dad,,,was not known,,,,so it wasn't like I was stoping a relationship he could have been sharing.. It was just because of his brother and sister and all his friends,the peer preasures of growing,,,,so I waited till I thought , that news,,wouldn't harm his out looks...
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To me Christmas always meant family, well I no longer have that family. When you find that over half of your life was nothing but a big lie it takes more then your heart it takes your soul as well. But that’s OK you all enjoy I don't want to ruin it for you. Depends on that lie? Asfor me,,my ex lied throughout a sixteen year marriage. and I never told ONE truth to my oldest son,,,,until HE was 22 years old,,,,and that I wasn't his real birth father... So sometimes a lie,,,and be done to hurt you with. yet another one, might be for reasons of you unstanding, later. Though in ways I had to lie to my son as he grew,,,I felt that had I told him earier,,,,it might have turned him toward the dark sides of living,,,as his real dad,,,was not known,,,,so it wasn't like I was stoping a relationship he could have been sharing.. It was just because of his brother and sister and all his friends,the peer preasures of growing,,,,so I waited till I thought , that news,,wouldn't harm his out looks... There are vicious lies and lies that serve oneself but your "lies" were good "lies". Lily Tomlin said, "I do not lie but the truth can be made up if you know how." 
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Edited by
Ladylid2012
on
Sat 12/05/09 12:45 PM
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I celebrate the Solstice..the longest day of the year, the day the sun is further from Mama Earth than any other day...to me that is amazing and worthy of celebration. hmmmm. longest day of the year? thought that was the summer solstice. winter solstice is shortest day no? ah ha, you trickster you!!! it is the longest day of the year in australia isn't it? sorry ladylid, just can't help myself. you know me.   I stand corrected...  Still, my feelings of the holidays are celebrated for the cosmic changes..as we are not Christian. Or shall I say I am not, my sons are still going through their decision making on such matters, which I allow. They are young men, not babies anymore. They get to pick their own path, I have done my job. |
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My Christmas cheer seems only to be on Christmas Eve. That is when my family comes to my house and we celebrate.. The rest of the time, I feel so all alone. I am thankfull that I have God in my life and can talk to him. But, today, a "feel sorry for Linda day" - I looked at the decorations I have up and thought - "what for"? - noone sees them anyway.. That is hard for me and my holidays end up being just that - lonely... This year, I work on Christmas and am actually thankful for that.. I do go to my childrens' house on Christmas Day when I am not working but, sometimes, still feel alone.
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I get thru the holidays best I can. Lots of friends, but they aren't the same as family. A major factor of that exclusive club, caused by death. Xmas music brings lots of good memories. And the music is all over the air waves,,,every station,lol So we ALL better like that stuff,lol I sing with it as I drive,wink,lol  Is that the mournful sound I hear on the wind?? I sing while driving also. Get a run west & we can do a DUET. how about a little further to OK..I'll fix you both some yummies.. |
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December is a word that has sparkly snow all over it. It's whitish-blue and there are bells on it. The background behind the word is black and maybe stars in the background. The big reason for the sparkle in December is Jesus' birthday and I musn't lose sight of that. People are happy during this month. At least that's what they show on t.v. and in the movies. Therefore, I always feel like I should be happy but no matter what I do to pump myself up I can never get as happy as they show on t.v. Greeting cards show snowy scenes and couples in love. When people tell me "Merry Christmas!" I think to myself, "Now, what does THAT look like?" Merry Christmas. Does that mean get all gussied up in a fur coat and a present under one arm and walk in the snow with someone special? Could it ever mean get into a flannel nightgown and sit on the couch alone and watch the wood in the fireplace fall away from itself and look between tears for images in the hot cinders? But, my life is good. I could be a Pakistani slave girl living in total poverty and wishing I had something, anything to eat. But, everything is relative. I'm not in Pakistan. I'm in America and I have food and I can eat. I ask myself over and over again if anyone else craves someone sitting next to them. The other person doesn't even have to say a word. Just happy to be sitting next to me. That would be my merry Christmas. I get through everything with prayer, and writing, music...finding someone to just share what I have with..it isn't always family, it is always tender, sweet and joyous. |
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"Two is company
   Three is a crowd." 
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Edited by
Sharris
on
Mon 12/07/09 12:04 PM
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Practical Presence
Who gets that one? With wide eyes and wonder. Wrapped in plain paper No sound, shake it harder. There wasn't a name, So curiosity piqued Oh, Who, tell me who! I yelled and I shrieked. It is for all of you, She teased with a hint Is it a game? She chuckled and went Right on doing, Wrapping she'd been. Presents, so many, to share when. Please can we open it Do we have to wait? Oh, just this one! I bet it is great! With a sly, crooked smile, She laughed and gave in, Holding back Her widening grin. I tore off the paper To my surprise, A Game!! Not at all, A dish drainer, I cried. Sisters and humor, Feelings and questions. Jokes really called, Cute, funny deceptions. Presence and gifts, What does it matter. How much you spend Or just being together. Raine Les 12/7/2009 |
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"Two is company Three is a crowd." giggle |
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I get thru the holidays best I can. Lots of friends, but they aren't the same as family. A major factor of that exclusive club, caused by death. Xmas music brings lots of good memories. And the music is all over the air waves,,,every station,lol So we ALL better like that stuff,lol I sing with it as I drive,wink,lol Is that the mournful sound I hear on the wind?? I sing while driving also. Get a run west & we can do a DUET. how about a little further to OK..I'll fix you both some yummies..  NOW,,,,THERES,,,,a road TRIP,,,wink, WE could have a BLAST,,,,,Don and I singing as you HUM and catch all the high notes,,,wink,lol THATS a great picture,,in my mind....wink |
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I get thru the holidays best I can. Lots of friends, but they aren't the same as family. A major factor of that exclusive club, caused by death. Xmas music brings lots of good memories. And the music is all over the air waves,,,every station,lol So we ALL better like that stuff,lol I sing with it as I drive,wink,lol Is that the mournful sound I hear on the wind?? I sing while driving also. Get a run west & we can do a DUET. how about a little further to OK..I'll fix you both some yummies.. NOW,,,,THERES,,,,a road TRIP,,,wink, WE could have a BLAST,,,,,Don and I singing as you HUM and catch all the high notes,,,wink,lol THATS a great picture,,in my mind....wink Ok..I'm makin cookies.. |
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I get thru the holidays best I can. Lots of friends, but they aren't the same as family. A major factor of that exclusive club, caused by death. Xmas music brings lots of good memories. And the music is all over the air waves,,,every station,lol So we ALL better like that stuff,lol I sing with it as I drive,wink,lol Is that the mournful sound I hear on the wind?? I sing while driving also. Get a run west & we can do a DUET. how about a little further to OK..I'll fix you both some yummies.. NOW,,,,THERES,,,,a road TRIP,,,wink, WE could have a BLAST,,,,,Don and I singing as you HUM and catch all the high notes,,,wink,lol THATS a great picture,,in my mind....wink Ok..I'm makin cookies.. now,,,we need to borrow a cow,,,as to take along so we have milk,,,,,lol,lol,,,I can put it in the trailor,,,no problems,,,,lol |
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I get thru the holidays best I can. Lots of friends, but they aren't the same as family. A major factor of that exclusive club, caused by death. Xmas music brings lots of good memories. And the music is all over the air waves,,,every station,lol So we ALL better like that stuff,lol I sing with it as I drive,wink,lol Is that the mournful sound I hear on the wind?? I sing while driving also. Get a run west & we can do a DUET. how about a little further to OK..I'll fix you both some yummies.. NOW,,,,THERES,,,,a road TRIP,,,wink, WE could have a BLAST,,,,,Don and I singing as you HUM and catch all the high notes,,,wink,lol THATS a great picture,,in my mind....wink Ok..I'm makin cookies.. now,,,we need to borrow a cow,,,as to take along so we have milk,,,,,lol,lol,,,I can put it in the trailor,,,no problems,,,,lol a cow...hahahhaahahahahahahah |
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Look at it,,,,,,,,,,,size it up,,,,,,,,,,see if its heavy,,,,,
see if it jiggles,,,,,,look at it closer,,,,,,,,,steady it as you guess in mind,,,,,what it is???? The wait,,,,,,long,,,,,,tedious,,,,,,anxious,,,,,,, THEN,,,,,,,,on Christmas Eve,,,,the moment to open it as,,,,you grab it as the one you want to open early,,,,,,,just to be told ,,,,no,,,THAT ONE has to open tomorrow,,,,,sorry...... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO00000000000000000................ But,,,,they win,,,,and you then get your long awaited moment,, bright and early the next morn... THEN,,,,on lap,,,ripping away the cover,,,,,intensely looking at what is underneath,,,,,,,,its,,,,,,,,,,,its,,,,a,,,,,,, YES,,,,,,,,,SO COOL,,,,,,,A microscope,,,,,,,,, My eleventh year-old X-mas....wink |
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i lov christmas, all the lights are wonderful.also watching grandkids open presents is nice. i think the holidays does make some people sad though.but if they will remember its only one day everything will be fine.
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