My friend Joe came over to my place last night, and he brought his "girl" with him. Now, Joe is a wild guy. Past six months, he has been parting hard, and has been with different women just for sex. Now, from the moment they walked in, I could tell that she had a calming effect on him. He made her a drink, after he asked if she wanted anything. I made a reference as to how she had him wrapped. She laughed, and jokingly said, "Well, I would have just taken his when he sat down." She was totally kidding of course, but I could see that this girl was good for him.

And so I asked this question. "So...you guys are a couple now? You know, boyfriend and girlfriend?"

They both looked at each other, and he said, "We really don't know what we are."

I told Joe right then and there, in front of his lady, that he needed to figure it out. I said it to him because I could tell from her body language that she wanted to be more with him. He treats her good. He is just afraid to commit because his last girlfriend did him so wrong.


Still. I had never heard anyone say, "We don't know what we are.".

Oh, and I also told her that she just needed to slap him and make him commit to her. She agreed.

Anyways, has anyone else ever had a situation like this? Either a friend of yours or maybe in your own life? I can tell that this girl really likes him, and that she is just waiting for him to commit. She won't push it, but I know that is what she wants from him. And I feel she would be great for him.

Well first off how long has he been seeing her? Maybe he just needs more time to be with her before he is able to commit to her.He might have to see if he can really trust her.It is a good thing that she has a calming effect on him.Good luck to them both.And its great that he has a good friend like u.They probably didn't know what they are yet because they need more time to figure it out.

Oh goodness yes. I do not like to assume when it comes to relationships so I always take the position of the FRIEND unless told otherwise. I never want to say I love you first, I never want to push the issue,,,,lol

Unfortunately , I have matched up several times with males who felt the same so we kind of went on in this emotional limbo waiting for the other to leap until we both got tired of waiting and moved on.

Been there, done that, couple of times. It's never fun.

I spent a long time in that same limbo. It led to our breakup. It's just not good to not speak up for yourself and what you want and need. I learned the hard way and paid a hefty price.

I wish I was Joe

yes certainly

ummmm I dunno

I think once you define it and label it then you limit it

I'm more of a day to day person

They have been "dating" for two months now. I can tell he cares about her, and I can see he wants to commit to her. And the things he said to me. Like, "Man, she is just so good for me", and how she puts up with him. He knows she is a rare find. I didn't push him towards commiting to her. I could see that she really does like him and would want to see where things go. He is just scared.

I was like..."so you guys are just dating then?". And he couldn't really commit to that either. Kids these days.

I see more and more couples that don't know. They either don't want labels or they just don't want to be the first one to say anything. Personally (after time) I want to know where I stand. But that's just me

I have too.

Ditto

Actually it is what it is..whatever that is..
can't put a label on it..no matte how you slice it, it just is...

OK, now that made sense!!....

That was deep!!

The older I get, the more I see the pointlessness of putting labels on everything. Because it turns out I'm never reading the same label everyone else is.

Well, Joe's way wouldn't necessarily be right for me. But, I've learned tolerance over the years...they'll figure it out....I'm confident of that. And, I've learned, too, that trying to teach pigs to fly is frustrating for me...and really just pisses off the pig!

Yeah, everyone wants everything to fit in their little square pegs all neat and nice...why label, why try to define it, why not just left them find their own way in their own time and let it be whatever it's going to be?

Oh, I am sure they will find there own way. But from what I saw of them together, he truly does care for this girl. I have seen him with other women, and he didn't care for them. He only wanted one thing, and he got it. But with this girl, it is totally different. I just don't want him to pass something by that could be good for him. It's his call of course. I just saw a different side of him last night, and that was cool.

I can always count on you to make me

Laughter is a good thing...:maybe one of the best things! wink: