i don't have a single friend. sure i mean, there are people i'm friendly with, and maybe... i re-iterate MAYBE a fair-weather friend or two, but not a single person who is truly and genuinely my friend. i try so hard to be a good friend to the people who are nice to me. i don't know anymore. i'm just really, really lonely. i figure since this is supposed to be a "community" someone here might have an idea or suggestion. i think i'm gonna try to see a therapist or counselor or something. mhmr or something like that. i found some old meds that i had been prescribed i tried to start taking those again. i guess i should be a little more consistent with taking them.

i'm not even really sure what i'm asking or if this is the right place, the other forum i post on doesn't ever have any activity. i figure at least here i'll get some sort of response even if it's someone laughing at me or criticizing me. i just don't know what to do anymore.

I have a Bigggggg Hugggg for you.

You are not alone in this situation.Many have made friends here.Real friends.

thanks... i'm sorry. i just i dunno... i don't think i'm dealing with life in general very well and it's all become very overwhelming. the girl i like left today. she goes back to prison tomorrow, my cat was killed about a month ago, i haven't been able to find work and i mean, i try to get help on another forum specifically for depression and all that, but i guess everyone is too depressed to type or post back or what i dunno. not that big a surprise huh? buncha depressed people aren't likely to be hot on the keyboard to write a response to anyone u kno. she was the only person who even seemed to care about me even a little bit and she was seeing other people besides me. she even brought one by the house one day. i dunno how many other people she was seeing besides me. but i dunno, i try so hard to be positive and smile and keep a good attitude and be punctual and follow thru with interviews and all sort of things, but i fail miserably at everything. i just fail at life. and i guess with everything that's happened recently it's too much for me to deal with anymore. i'm out of ideas.

i appreciate u guys' kind words tho. thank you.

Sorry she left but I think you deserve better and if she carried anything for your feelings no matter what the circumstances were she would have stood by you and seen it thorough.A real woman stands by her man no matter what comes around and sees him thorough it.So once again let me give you a big hug.

I'm sorry she left for prison I still say you need someone who will be there for you. In times like this we all need someone special to hold us close and see us thorough.

I understand the pressure of life, the overwhelming failures, the pain of getting excited about something, only to have something ELSE go down the drain and drag you with it.. Life is tough, life is lonely. But you can change it. Of course you can hun..

Now. What do you like to do that's really fun? Do you like video games? Bowling? Archery? Swimming? You can name ANYTHING that you like to do, like playing with kitties! Why not check out the local animal shelter? Volunteer there? Not only do you get to help lots of beautiful critters, but you WILL meet people who respect and like you for being there.

Start with something. Start with an activity or something to keep you occupied. Just one small goal that you can accomplish. Learn a language! I adore french. It's very rewarding if you lean if a tiny bit of anything.

But once you start doing that SOMETHING, it makes other things easier. So, tell all of us wonderful listeners what you like to do! And of course, where you're from. I'll help you find something!

thank u. that's very nice and thoughtful of u. wonderful suggestions really, i think i will consider and take some of ur advice. i had been volunteering a little bit at this place where kids would come to learn about eating healthy and it was at the farmer's market.

for lunch all of us volunteers would take a group of kids (5-6) down to the market and each would have a dollar to spend on different fruits and vegetables that they would come back to the kitchen/lecture hall and cut up and mix into a pasta salad for lunch. so they would shop for and then later prepare their own lunch, plus they'd usually get some fruits too and make a fruit salad.

the last group i helped was a lot of fun. 5 little girls they were all so well behaved. really surprised me. even the first group of fifth graders mostly boys surprised me how well they behaved. the second group was a little younger, the girls... but whatever, they were very nice. it was fun showing them how to cut up the fruits and vegetables but it was hard keeping my eye on five little girls and making sure each one had a responsibility in making the lunch and using the knives properly and not hurting themselves. i brought in my own knives because the day prior with the 5th graders the knives that were supplied by the hosts of the event were DULL and not very good. but whatever, it was nice to volunteer and help those kids. but it was very VERY early in the morning for me, bcos it's downtown and i have to take the bus to get there. not real hot on a 1.5 hour bus/train commute at 6am when i'm not gettin paid. and there really didn't seem to be any opportunity to speak to anyone there about work or a regular job. i'll try looking to volunteer more locally.

thanks again for the wonderful suggestions.

I know how you feel. I live in an area where I know literally nobody. Sometimes, people leave your life because they are supposed to make room for something better which will be coming a bit later.

wow never thought any one else actually had a problem/concern like that. i can honestly say i feel the same way and im only 20 friggin years old. IMO my problem was that i was ony close/real to the people i already knew. old friend from high schools are my usual some what friends. i dont really think i had a problem with making new friends it just felt that way since i had no real close friends atleast not in quantity. honestly i just used craigslist haha serioiusly it shows events in your local neighborhood, singles, hikes, vacations, clubs it was really fantastic since a lot of people of all ages felt around the same way i did however MOST were just in it for 1 night stands (not my usual thing at the time) it was still a great way to meet new people. some even demand that you get to know atleast 1 person. i mean overall i felt pretty pathetic that at my age i felt i could not/had many friends. i dont know if anything i said help but if 'being more open' and 'not being afraid to start a convo with anyone and everyone' doesnt help maybe those events could help. hope i helped in some way

yeah, thanx. i never even thought to use craigslist for anything other than looking for work and i haven't been very successful in that endeavor lately so i guess i should see if i could make it work for me in some other respect. thanx.

When you are sad,
and you feel you can't go on.
Tears well in your eyes
and the pain is so strong.

So far from your friends,
and you're all on your own.
No-one to run to,
So very alone.

When all seems so useless,
and you can't take anymore.
As you put on your coat,
and head for the door.

Remember.......

I was there once,
lost, all alone
You can cry in my ear,
Just pick up the phone.

When you are lonely and feeling so blue
Someone is thinking ...thinking of you
Hugs Cgirl777----Thanks for last night your really a sweet and cool guy I'm so glad I got the chance to get to know you.Keep Smiling

Heck partner, my hat is off to ya. Think about it. Your life sucks, and yet you Volunteer to helpout a batch of littles! That Sir, is a good way to earning respect from anyone worth a dang! If you touched one of those kids mentally. You have done more than any paying job.
My hat is off to you.
You also might look into local classes, referencing your volunteer work.

i guess i didn't think about it like that really. i mean kids gotta learn to eat properly and if i can help in some small way to introducing them to new vegetables they were previously unfamiliar with and get them to like it then i'm happy to do so. it's just waaaaay too early in the morning for me to have to travel as far as i do to get there. if i lived even a little bit closer, one bus ride less, it wouldn't be near as bad. but whatever.

you talkin about touchin kids, i had to re-read that to make sure... i got the mentally part. hahaha. i thought at first u were accusing me of something. hahahaha... i would never touch anyone younger, older, whatever, inappropriately or unwanted. but i got what u were saying, i just thot i'd clear that up anyway.

sm:)e

i'ma keep taking these meds i found from a while back. sort of seem to be helping a little bit. haven't been as sad as usual. or at least so it seems.

they make "snuggies" for dogs. like clothes for dogs aren't bad enough now they have to impose atrocious fashion faux pas on the poor animals as well?

ok...why are you having trouble making friends? are you talking about here or in real life?

in real life. i have no friends. i sit at home alone, i stare at the same four walls just like when i was in prison. i hate my life. i dunno, i try to get out and meet people and be engaging and not all negative and morose. i go to the gym and workout, i even went on a date with someone i met thru this website. never heard from her again. i dunno what it is i do to turn people off in person. maybe my sense of humor? maybe my habit is more obvious than i thought and people pick up on it, i dunno. but i'm lonely. this girl i did like and was kind of seeing went back to prison earlier today. friday the 13th of all days. lot of things happen recently in succession that contribute to my melancholy and i guess i haven't dealt with my feelings very well. i'm trying to go and see a therapist n all but i just really don't kno about things anymore.

Sorry you are having a tough time.

Depression is manageable and the sooner you get over to the County Mental Health the sooner you will get the help you need to get it under control. If you are taking your own prescription then I would say you are on the right track. Useing someone else's medication is really stupid. It may or may not be the best one for you and can make you even sicker if it is the wrong one or even the right one but you suddenly stop taking it.

Having your girlfriend go to jail sucks but for the best for both of you you should accept that the relationship is over and move forward. Just letting go does not mean you are harming the other it just is a reality sometime.

You are on the right track volunteering and going to the gym to keep yourself up. You probably need to make more of and effort to get to know people your own age in both places. Maybe adding volunteering at Habitat for Humanity where you will make more peer age friends and learn skills for a job is also worth your time.

Finding a job needs to be top of your list of things to do. As long as you don't have one you will be seperated from the mainstream. Finding a job is most often pairing persistence with opportunity. Having any job will help you towards getting a better job. Many churches have job search workshops that are excellent. The Urban League and Jewish Vocational Services (both which are open to everyone are a good place to look as are Community Colleges which have to share their job boards.

Part of having a friend is being a friend. Pay attention to the ones that look like the best possibilities for friends and learn about their interests and feelings. Don't shoot for the most popular or the friendless person but someone you feel comfortable around or seems to be comfortable with you that is somewhere in the middle.. Use your mouth and ears porportionally. Remembering a persons birthday or interests makes a person feel special. Men are not famouse for shareing but you can pick up stuff if you listen and pay attention. If people talk about something that is a good place to start a conversation wheater it is their favorite sport, TV program, car.

Most people really do know why they have problems making friends. You mention a sense of humor few appreciate. Maybe you need to look at what your humor really is. If it is sarcastic or demeaning maybe you need to see it for what it is and try less to be funny and more to be a friend. Many people learn the humor they use from poor role models. Many comedians would be considered bullies or bigots so copying them is not really all that funny off stage.

Your welcome to talk to me if you need a friend. Or have specific questions.

I'm just an e-mail away!

It might sound backwards, but don't worry about whether or not you have friends, but rather, concern yourself with the kind of friend you are. The rest takes care of itself, with time, and yea, somewhat regular exposure to society in one form or another. Start with the basic definition http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship , and instead again, of worrying about the results, learn do do your part, and expect that it sometimes takes years to form one real friendship. Since I've lived in this town, a total of 2 years 3 months and 1 day, I've been fortunate enough to have made 2 real friends, and of them, to love one of them deeply.

I should also add, more than a dozen were disasters in that same period, and were people I quickly learned to distance myself from.

I think we all feel that way at some point in our lives, the older we get the more our friends, move, get married, get a boyfriend/girlfriend, have children etc.... I did join another site where I found many ppl like me who were single and had a bunch of married friends... On that site we all have become great friends.. We all flew to Vegas to meet back in October.... One awesome trip!!! They will call me, I call them and talk about being there when you need them...(as I am for them) it's good to have met such wonderful ppl..... and Dayum talk about ppl who have your back... Great ppl, Great friends... I came here because I'd like to expand my friends and well, keeping to one site I see many of the same ppl over and over.. So, my point is this is a great place to start, you just never know who you will meet.... (not always a bf or gf but could be a bff) JMO