OK, so i my lil man just left, *sniff*... Miss him already..

But while he was here, he was doing many things that for one i dont allow, and for two should be corrected.
Nothing big, throwing food on floor, running away and throwing temper fits when he was told no, not listening at all for the first hour or so.
What the @#$#@$ is she doing? I mean come on, not to brag or sound rude, but he is one smart lil man, smarter than most, was walking at 7 months, pulling pratical jokes at a year, (those still kill me that he can put things together and its actualy funny, smart lil turd).
I was somewhat strict on him when it came to normal things, but he understands way more than most his age, so he knew what he was doing and why he shouldnt be, so i cracked down on him, sure he gets away with a lot, but there are limits.
It seems now that he is with her only most of the time, there are no limits, Which is realy going to bite her in the butt later on when he gets a bit older, but in the mean time, i have to de-program him for the first few hours and get him back to acting like a little man and not a little monster.
Is she that stupid that she can not see what is coming?
I just dont like the way he is going to end up, and sadly there is not a lot i can do about it.
Its just frustrating to see how things are going knowing there is not much you can do.
Anyone else have to deal with this?

Wow I totally agree with you, sometimes a boy needs his day, and most women don't understand this factor, when he gets to be more than she can handle and it will prolly come soon enough, you will probably be the one that will have to "try" to unstraighten the damage that she is doing. But you never know, maybe the time he spends with you he will figure out that dad does really know best and that mom is too easy.

I hate to be the burden of bad news, but when only one parent is the disciplinary parent and the other doesn't help out.. this will continue until teenage years. He will grow up to learn how to "play" the parents. I've lived this. And each and every time you get your son, you will have to re-program him to your ways. When my boy's would come back from spending a week with their dad, it would take me 2-3 days to get them back in order, unfortunately. But one day, as mine did, he will come to you and thank you, also apologize for being such a chit growing up. lol

I agree with Jules matey ! My ex had a teenage son, and lets say he did know how to leverage the fact that she and his father got a divorce. The whole playing one parent against another worked for him pretty well for a while, till i came along.
Being the only disciplinary parent is'nt easy , not only because your spending most of your time 'de-programing' him but because it is rather like trying to scoop sand out of a mudslide. the more you discipline , the more the child is gonna leverage the other parent.
I guess at some point of time, you just have to wait it out , love, truckloads of patience and a firm hand will take route sometime.
Till then.. i got two words for you - beer, football

Thanks for the responces and input,

So basicaly stick to my guns, buy lots of beer and ride it out.. *lol*.

I definatly wont change, he needs some structure, even if it is only once a week, (for now.. not sure how long it will last before it ends up once a month or more.. nothing would suprise me at this point.)
I want him to be a little man, in every sence of the word, not a monster, not a terror , or a pain to others.. still a kid, but a good kid.
My other worry is he is going to pick up her habbits, which i dont like, but cant stop either.. She always has the phone glued to her head, (which he already imitates) , is always on the go, which is ok but not for a little one, and twist and minupulates to make things seem the why she wants, which i realy realy hope he wont learn, and now she is sponging off a friend of a frind of the family, living in their house, rent free, she wanted to get tags to go hunting, which is not that big of a deal, i would if i had the cash extra, (we still share money, yea i know, but i dont want lil man to go without, so i keep the joint account open and cash in there just in case) but , she said she was going to get tags, and i asked what about bill's, she said, her bills were paid, hmm interesting since just just barely coverd her office space here in town, last week, and i know the phone bill is $300, not to mention the loan she took out that i was aginst, and who knows what else, i mean sure she could make good money a week doing massages, but she has not had that many massages to cover the bills. So that tells me the friend (who has money) is covering her bills, oh and she came to town in the friends truck.
Its all going to bite her in the butt later, and honestly i am a bit suprised she is doing what she is doing, maby her staying home with lil man the past 2 1/2 years was not such a wise decision, but i wanted to make sure she had time to bond with him. So i worked and she stayed home.
But i realy hope he realises later on that things that are going on now are not how they should be, or that he wont remember at all.
Just dont want him picking up all the bad habbits.

Its difficult, but I think even in so called 'healthy'marriages, there are roles that each person fills. Some people are natural disciplinarians(usually men) and some are natural nurturers and caretakers(usually woman). I wouldnt be upset with her about this, just keep doing your part and make sure your boy knows you both love him. The worst you can do is have a tone of negativity about the way the other chooses to parent,,our children are a part of both their mother and their father and they have a way of internalizing everything negative they hear one saying about the other.

i have the same flaw that I am more of a nurturer than a disciplinarian, I dont do it to piss my ex off(in fact, my heart is one of the reasons he married me), it is just my personality. I try my best to be mother and father when my children are with me, but it isnt really the natural or easy thing to do. Maybe when things have cooled down, you and your ex can start communicating about how you want to raise your child and the best way to work together to do it. Til then though, keep in mind that noone can be all things for their child,, hard as they may try.

Some good advice msharmony, i agree, he never see's the negative side of things, even the negative side of the 'sperm donor' i shield him from that, although at times its tough, but i dont want to cause him problems later on, so when he is around i keep things like that to my self.

Hopefuly later on, (if i still get to see him) we can work something out, it just drives me nuts to see him acting up and doing things that he knows without a doubt he is not to do.
I'm sure part of it is attention, even though he is just 2 it has to be rough on him, his world has changed and he dose not know why and he can not realy talk yet, so he cant ask or understand.
So i give him leaway on some things that before would not even be a second though.

And on the flip side of things...little ones will have a temper tantrum no matter if you tell them not to...they just do. If you ignore the behavior so they get no attention for it they will eventually stop. Sometimes its just a phase...not always Mommys fault.

good point as well, although he has never done it before, only in the past week or so, its quite possible its just a phaze, and will pass.