lol , ok artman, ty for the kind warning.

TY it takes all kinds ya know

I guess I'm past the stage where sex is an immediate concern.

I'll tell you what I want -- someone I can talk to, really communicate with, someone with an actual intellect and some creativity.

Because I've spent years being involved with (and in one case, even married to) people who seemed, at first, to be fairly bright, with the potential to be intellectually stimulating, but who, in the end, turned out to be slightly less intelligent and interesting than the "25 cents off on Pop-Tarts" coupon.

Bad judgment on my part. Repeatedly.

I don't want to be domesticated, either. I won't get married again, and I have less than zero interest in having kids.

"Mainstream" won't do it for me.

As for your friend's situation, I don't think she's necessarily trashy if she sleeps with someone that soon. Circumstances are different in each case. I've been in situations where things clicked almost immediately, and you can get caught up in that. Sure it's often (maybe most of the time) a mistake in the end; but we all make mistakes.

I would be a little more likely to question it if she continuously slept with guys on the first date or something. But an isolated instance here and there, well, it doesn't taint her, in my book.

I think men and women look for different things. the trick is to find the one that is wanting the same as you.some men want sex so do ladies I personally am seeking someone to enjoy the small things with me. a cup of coffee, the sunset , a picnic, watching my or her kids play, a good movie wrapped up on the couch. Eventually if we dont quit looking we will find what we seek

HEY, this is good---but even at my age, wrapped up with a woman on a couch---there will be sex!! or I take my flowers back and go home.

If I knew the answer to this I might not be single...

When a sentence starts like that...it is usually you, hiding something from us? We have our ways here at Mingle, we will find out...

Anyway, the perfect time is relative to the people involved. I can say that I've never cared either or, but I am about .00001% of the male population, so really I don't mean squat.

She should give up on dating for at least a little while, get herself sorted and figure out what she wants...it has been my experience that very few people are honest regardless of sex, so either or she is probably screwed (if she was thinking about switching the road persay).

I knew a guy who dated a girl for about 4 years after they had sex on the first date, so I guess it just depends on the people iinvolved and what they consider "normal."

If a man and woman are dating for months and one or the other does not initiate sex or talk about sex I think there is a problem.

Nope! don't think so. depends on the 2 people.

Yeap, Artman you are right. For me it would be a big problem.

Look, I want a woman who has these things......


CORRUPTED SENSE OF HUMORE- I have this, and thusly, if she doesn't, we aint gonna mix. And no, not the kind of humor that is forced. I am talking about the kind where she just shouts out a movie quote that many others won't get, but I do, and we laugh together like idiots. Ahhhhhhh!!!


MOVIES- She can be into what she wants, but dang it, never....EVER....under any circumstances diss DIE HARD. I will not allow it. And, I do happen to like "chick flicks" too. I am a sap. I am a romantic. Sue me.


GOTTA HAVE DEPTH- Okay, this is in no reference to body size. I am talking about being "deep", as in spiritual, and just overall developing deep feelings for music, or movies, or books. I don't wanna chick who looks at me and goes, "Oooooo...shiney!". Plus, if you think buffalo wings are made from buffaloes, then shoot yourself.

I was married 38 years and the sex was good. till the end anyway. I don't think i could last 6 months with a nice woman without something in that department. but like you, thats just me. There are those that don't think that way---might be hard to find this day and age!!!

I have been maried twice. With both of them i had sex on the first date. In my younger day i would give three dates. If i did not have sex by then i moved on. Not all guys are like me of coarse.

What if she doesn't want to breed?

I think I am a well-rounded person, with strong values and goals, but I do not have an interest in being "motherly" including be a role model for children. Does that make me undesirable?

BTW, that is a rhetorical question. I am desirable and valuable. I just have to wait for the right guy who appreciates me (and who doesn’t want to breed either ).

Why can't you have it all? I believe we can have it all: good sex, and a strong relationship with long term value.

There is no reason to settle for one or the other.

I couldn't be interested in a guy that was not interested in sex and making sure all the bells were ringing in bed. I dated an asexual person one time and it was horrible! All of the other great qualities he had washed away with his indifference to sex.

So your friend had this issue with two guys, now guys never truthfully say what they want from a woman......Interesting

truth is.. theres is no time limit....unless its under thirty minutes of meeting a person.... Chemistry... She should be very upfront with what she wants and not bend!!! that should weed out the SAGS- sorry a$$ guys.. As for Melody

Maybe not a problem, but it would be odd