I decided to repost the following poems in memory of my mother who passed away on October 21, 2009 from COPD. I read them at her services.



Fri 12/14/07 Puff- You're Gone

the smoke curls
over your head
like a snake
crushing all
that
was
you
the firm body
always in motion
the strong voice
now gone
I only wish you
loved
me
more
breathe in, breathe out
strike match, hot glow
inhale this, expel that
I wait for you to
burn yourself
up
you've managed the
couch, rug, nightstand
what's next?
most days now
you crave sleep
lament tasks undone
trips not taken
love not found
brief conversations
have pauses
my mind thinks
of lasts
last birthday
last Thanksgiving
last Christmas
what should I say?
I want to say
stop it.stop it. stay here
with me
but it's been your friend
longer than I've
been you daughter, so
I
do
nothing
instead I wait
for the smoke
to curl around
all I cherished
and puff
you'll
be
gone.



Sat 07/26/08 How to Say Goodbye?

Each day you call
How are you today?
We talk
Of nothing
Simple things
The weather
It's safe

I feel like shouting
Screaming, really
Instead, pauses
Silence, it's okay
What are you having
For dinner?
What are you doing
With life?
For life?
For me
Without me

How are you today?
You always ask
What to say
I need time
With you
For you
Yesteryears
Healthy days

Your voice says
Little, but reveals
Time slipping
Questions
No answers
The desparation
The pain
Of breathing
So simple
For me
Almost impossible
For you

How to prepare
Utter despair
Always ending
My love declared
Your love too
Mom, what happens
To me?
When your calls stop
Your voice gone
No more questions
What do I do?
When the tears come
When life's
Undone
And I can't turn
To you
Mom, oh mom
What will I do?

enjoyed, heart to heart, peace

sorry for your loss...hugs

It is not easy to feel these questions. We know the answer does not change the time spent living as..
My heart goes out to you. Thank you for your tenderness.

2KidsMom

Jimmy- thank you kindly

Pam- hugs back at you

Sadie- you always offer such lovely sentiments

My love to you I send
Holding you....ever so close

Blessed be

love back at you and yours
you know how I love hugs

So sorry for your pain. It feels very familiar. I hoped by not smoking when I wanted children that I would be able to break that painful cycle. But with the military giving out, selling at a discount, even allowing smoking and the media still making it something cool to do I see younger people still starting smoking every day.

Beautiful so beautiful. I am sorry about your loss, I am praying with you and you family....God bless.

When the loss is to great to bare, just always feel her holding your hand,wink. Your writings here reflect your love.
I hope these words here for you will show you how much we care about you. May your nights be easy, your days make many smiles.
And I pray you will know and feel, she's with you still.

Thanks

The media does glamorize smoking, my own son has fallen to the same addiction. It has to be a terrible thing to try and kick because my three younger brothers all smoke, my mom's stepsister has the same lung disease and smokes. It's hard for me to comprehend how you see the devastation and still continue on.

thanks for the prayers MzEm. I appreciate it.

Thanks for your support Terry. Of course, I sense her spirit and I do feel at peace. Just missing the ability to converse and question and touch. Thanks to everyone.