Are you one of those people whose life sucks? If your life sucks could it be your attitude about it?

What if your life really sucked and yet in the middle of the worst possible scenario, you suddenly became the most optimistic person. What would happen then?


If your life sucks, who do you blame? Why don't you make some changes? If you say "I can't" isn't that negative thinking?

If everybody thinks you are a jerk and you are really a nice person, what can you do to change their opinion?

Why do you suppose they think you are a jerK?

Is it them or you? If it was you, would you be aware of it or would you just think that it was them?

These questions are about "POINT OF VIEW" and "ATTITUDE."

Yesterday I had a conversation with a person who claims positive thinking does not work because (he claims) he used to be a positive thinker and his life went to hell in a hand basket. His life sucks. He blames fate, he blames an accident, he blames his ex-wife. He was one of those people who seek advice and then protest and make excuses and start every sentence with "Yeh but.... blah blah blah... I can't..blah blah..."

A total freaking energy vampire that nobody wants to be around. A depressed person who sleeps until noon and thinks his life is over. (He is the same age as me.)

There is little hope for the person who blames everyone else for his problems and does nothing to improve his own life. Perhaps he is some how content feeling sorry for himself. Maybe it works for him. Well okay then, goodbye and good luck, is what I say. Glad I don't have to live with him everyday.

nice thread bean. should garner some enteresting discussion. i don't think it's your attitude that matters though. life can suck no matter how upbeat you are. what matters when life sucks for me is the realization that am the only person on the planet who has any control over the situation. i only have control over this very moment. who i blame for putting me in this pickle is irrelevant.

we do often read here about an ex who was a wife beater or a drug user or a cheating wife or whatever. but they aren't to blame for someones misery. that someone simply made a bad choice in a mate. so change the way you make choices next time.

But it IS you attitude that matters. If you think your life sucks, that is your attitude.

If you are unhappy, you might say that your life sucks. But who but you are responsible for your happiness or unhappiness?

Okay say you are happy and your life is going along real well and you get kicked in the head by a horse and suddenly your life changes... that could suck. A 'positive' person would accept the consequences of his actions that lead up to getting kicked by a horse and then try to see what the lessons being learned are. Maybe he or she has a lesson to learn about people with head injuries. It could be anything. But if he just feels sorry for himself and blames everyone else, he will not be dealing with the situation in a positive manner.

Does anything good ever develop from our bad experiences? Don't we grow and learn from them?

Resistance to what is, is what causes the misery. Feeling sorry for yourself is what causes unhappiness. "Woe is me. My live sucks. I can't do anything about it."

Oh really? To people who say that to me, I want to ask them why they don't just go shoot themselves then.

I agree with the OP. I used to be one of those 'energy vampires', but Napoleon Hill's writings helped me begin to fix it (I'm a work in progress).

my life really does suck

but I got tired of being depressed about it. It didnt make it any better.

Well said.

I think, people are just afraid of changing things around themselves. I'll try changing, maybe I change wayy to much and a lot too soon, that's part of my problem. Most people aren't used to that, or afraid of that so here I am.

i understand that it matters to you. what matters to me is that i stay realistic. the reality is that blaming does no good, that i am the only one who can change things, sometimes with help of course, and that if i do put in the effort things will get better.



agreed



i agree as to negativity. but what good is having a positive attitude if you don't realistically define why life sucks and then find a realistic way to improve things. all the positive attitude in the world doesn't help without rational thought and action. i've gotten alot done while i've been really pissed.



can only speak for me but i sure do.



my guess is that we're hung up on symantics here. you say positive attitude, i say realistic. the glass half full/half empty thing applies here. a negative person sees the glass as half empty. a positive person sees the glass as half full. a realist sees it as both. all three are in fact correct.

When my life sucks I blame it on everyone else..cause it is their fault...really it is!

When my life sucks, I call it my girlfriend.

(double post)

I think there is a point that needs to be made here.

I would propose that if one follows the chain back to the most basic source of the “suckiness”, one would end up at “I don’t like it.” (If you liked it, it wouldn’t it suck, right?)

And I think the whole point of this thread is simply to point out that one can decide what one does and/or doesn’t like.

So it seems to me that, the “positive attitude” is really just a matter of “deciding that I like it” instead of “deciding that I don’t like it”.

Of course one could come up with an extreme hypothetical case such as "How could one possibly decide to like being tortured?", or something along those lines.

But all that says is that one is unable to decide for themselves what they do or do not like. That someone or something else is making that decision for them.

And I think that is, in a nutshell, the fundamental problem with everything. People believe that they do not have a choice - not only in things external to themselves, but in their own viewpoints as well.

your life only sucks if you have no support...

No we are not hung up on semantics. Seeing what is "realistic" is what I mean by looking at the situation for what it is. Before you can improve your life or situation you have to first take stock of it and accept the situation.

Then, IF you want to improve it, you look at how you got there and what you might do to change it for the better. Being positive is feeling that you can change your life for the better. Being negative is complaining about your life and situation and crying that you have no control and that you can't do anything about it. Then when a friend offers you some advice, you make a dozen excuses why that advice won't work.

The bottom line is you are going to do what you want to do, not what anyone suggests you do. And if you keep doing what you are doing and thinking what you are thinking, you will not improve your life or situation much if at all. That's negative thinking.

Some people are gratified complaining and getting sympathy I guess. Others seem to be in a contest to see who's life sucks the most.

I would like to be able to wave a magic wand and solve people's problems but most of their problems are in their head and in their attitude, not in their life.

And some people are very attached to their problems and I think even comfortable with them, so they hang on to them. I think when you finally get fed up with them, you will find a way to get past them or solve them or deal with them differently.

fine bean. i'm under the impression that symantics means saying saying what we mean using different words that ultimately relate the same thought. i think that is what is happening between you and me. you say "seeing what is realistic is what i mean by looking at the situation for what it is". i agreed with that premise several posts ago. so how about this? positive attitude and realistic outlook mean the same thing as regards life sucking. now as i see it, we are no longer hung up on symantics here.

If you are unhappy, you might say that your life sucks. But who but you are responsible for your happiness or unhappiness?




"I am the cause of my own life"

i don't see it as inconsistent when i ask someone how things are with him and replies with something like, "hahaha. my life sucks. just lost my job and going through forclosure. but now can spend time with the kids and live in my rv like i always dreamed. hahahaha"

everything is allways about perception. life can suck and i can remain realistic and happy until i change things.

for those who truly thinks life sucks

Where our 'semantic' problem was is that it looked like your excuse for "negative thinking" was because you were "looking at the reality of it." (And your opinion of the reality of it was that it sucked.)

I do not think that looking at the reality of a situation is "negative thinking" if you don't form an opinion of it like "It sucks."

You want to look at the reality of a situation in a detached and dispassionate manner as if you are looking at a problem that requires solving, then you go on to solve it.

Example: I lost my job, the rent is past due, my spouse is leaving me, my dog died, my car won't run. That is the reality of the hypothetical sucked up situation.

The negative way to react is this kind of thinking.. I'm going to get evicted, I can't get a job with no car, my spouse is not going to help or care, nobody loves me, I don't even have my dog, life sucks, and or "my life is over."

The positive way to react is... I will get a new job, I will find one close to where I live and walk to work, walking is good exercise, I don't have to buy car insurance or gas, my spouse and I always fought anyway so good riddance, I'll get a new dog, one that needs a home.

The point is, life goes on whether your attitude is negative and you are miserable or whether your attitude is positive and you work on solving problems and improving the situation.

some people say that life is short

I say that death is really long