Okay, when I first started...I didn't post any threads for about the first month, getting myself acquainted to the community. First and foremost, I never asked a relationship question, sorry, and I mean no offense here...but you lot are the last bit of advice I would take in the given situation. Second, I never, ever, ever...ever...ever...posted a 'nice guy' thread, not only is it cliche, it is dull, boring, and easily demised by logic. Third, I came here to make friends, I had dates, and realized this site is far better at getting friends then dates.

I call it "The Learning Curve"...

Yep, like with me, I think romance is evil!!!

Calleigh has an excellent point in what she says. When you think about it, we aren't professionals with a psych degree nor are we licensed clinical psychologists so when new people ask why their girlfriend brings sailors home and feeds them lunch they have to be ready to get a mixed bag of answers. We'll nail 'em every time.

Aren't we?

How do you know this?

Here in Australia it is not ok to advertise one's clinical or medically related field of professionalism.

and I know it is similar in some European countries.

I actually do have a degree in Psychology, and am registered to practise.

Well, the majority of us aren't licensed to practice. I too, plan to study Psychology and Counseling and will eventually be certified, but at the moment, I'm in no position to advise anyone on anything, especially romance- since I royally suck at relationships.

Hahaha!!!!!!!!!! And I have a weird one, by US standards...

Yes I think you have a point. I try to look at the person and how long they have been online. Age factors in. Also what forum they are in.

If I feel someone is genuinely looking for input, or struggleing, or getting bullied, I try to take the time to give them more than a look see or a wise crack. Most people I tend to keep it on the boards.

Occassionally I think it is personal so I may write in email. My background in social work and parenting tends to make some things stand out that might otherwise pass. I like a lot of the people on Mingle and just people in general. Life can be a lot harder for folks than it sometimes seems.

While I try to make regular rounds to the new members and make them welcome if someone is new to the forums I generally let them, even try to encourage them to join in.

Generally I feel if someone asks for a profile to be rated or input on a specific topic they better put on their grown up pants because I am going to tell it like I see it. I have a lot of background at mainstreaming people into jobs, new communiites, and new life situations. While you can't fine tune a profile to please everyone and I think they should have some personal flavor I don't think anyone wants to get minimal, or negative response, or worse ignored. Male or female it is no fun to be invisable or feel rejected. Like looking for a job is completely different skill than knowing the job so is writing about yourself. Some are good at it and others well most people fall on their own sword more than they know.

I think the whole rate a thing can just be for flirting and that is fine most of the time if I get that gist I just pass.

I have wondered at times, even out loud, if Mingle sometimes eats it's young. seen the green eyed moster more than once.

Being a computer newbie can really tough. It is easy to forget that we have done some topics to death and had our learning experiences.

Flip side of that is somewhere along the line you have to grow up and if newbies feel snubbed or virtually dissed well this is the real world and learning to fit in is part of the benifit of participateing in a community. Folks that are too thin skinned are going to have no easier time blending here than the real world. Well maybe. I have seen some pretty good monitoring.

Probably wouldn't hurt when someone is just being funny or joking to say JK or Just Kidding. Some who have been here for years know personalities and know most Mingelers are good folks that would do just about anything respectable for their friends old or new. For newbies it can be intimidateing. Or a bit shocking when we cut up. Remembering the cautions we got can't help but make some folks skittish. There are some real nasty folks on line every once in a while. Old and new need to keep that in mind.

I think the best thing people can do is just tell your friends and encourage them to join. If you know someone introduce them around a bit.

I would like to see more positive affirmations when someone makes and interesting post and states something well.

As long as it works, it's all good. Every one I've had has been weird too, I use the term "relationship" very loosely, but I have to call them something, for loss of a better word, that has to suffice....

But, folks aren't writing to Jess642 for advice. They are writing to a bunch of us who are in our pj's with our hair standing on end, possibly altered on something, maybe averaging 12 years of formal education. But, I get what you're saying and I think your achievements are admirable!

I went to counseling when i had issues with my sexuality and it did me the world of good.
I hung onto her every word i would have gladly seen her for counseling 7 days a week.
She would ask me such things as my deepest thoughts noway was i going there how do you explain to your counseller your lusting after her? Anna x

that's how we roll....

Well to put it this way, I know they ask for advice, but if they can not take constructive criticism or a little razzing once in awhile just to lighten them up. Then they should not be posting on dating sites.

They must be conditioned to fit in with our screwball ways

Oh T, not nice to make me think on a Sunday morning.

Of course you are right. Unfortunately we are human. Sometimes sincere, sometimes funny, sometimes sarcastic and sometimes mean.

I know for me, I tend to type my first thought. I know, not good but maybe it makes them laugh. Maybe it makes them look at it in a different way and I'm sure sometimes it's not helpful at all.

The beauty of Mingle is the varied responses. It is up to the OP to take what they will out of it. Who are we to say what they will find valuable?

BTW, when reading your OP my first thought was Jesus T, I haven't had any coffee yet.

sphincter

I think that would be a good idea. But, it won't happen.

The way I view it, the Newbies are our guests in the forums and all of us here are guests on Mingle2. No one should have to indure ricidule and being poked fun at in order to prove their dedication....this is not a sorority/paternity where we haze them at the door. Poking fun at a Newbie is a bit like picking on the new kid at school.....high school stuff we should have left behind a long time ago.