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Topic: 11 Reasons Why Men Dump Women
leander67's photo
Sat 10/03/09 04:34 PM
I was flipping through a Women's Health recently (I admit it), and I noticed an interesting poll. Women cited the following as the most common breakup reasons:

He changed
We weren't compatible
He cheated on me
When I was little, it drove me crazy when my parents supported "no" with "because I said so." I always wanted a reason. I'm not sure if knowing why always helps, but perhaps if you know common reasons guys break up with girls, you'll at least be able to see it coming. So, here are mine:

I Got Bored: I've read many different hypotheses on attention span, but my favorite is (Wikipedia):

"Continuous attention span, or the amount of time a human can focus on an object without any lapse at all, is very brief and may be as short as 8 seconds. After this amount of time, it is likely that an individual's eyes will shift focus, or that a stray thought will briefly enter consciousness."

My attention span (unless it's a football game or a song) may be worse. I know a relationship is not supposed to be exciting all the time, so getting through those flatline moments between the sparks is critical. If I start having more fun with other activities, the relationship is doomed.

One of Us Was Too Serious: This could be as simple as she wanted to see me three times a week, and I only wanted to see her once a week. If she's flirting with other guys, flighty, or not as into it as I am, then I'm too serious for her.

Burnout: I'm a big believer in pacing and rhythm in dating. A relationship can suffer burnout if certain milestones occur too fast: Being exclusive, sex, meeting parents. When that happens, I get that feeling the colonists must have gotten after they won the Revolutionary War: "Ok, we did it...so now what?"

I Was Tempted To Cheat: I do my best not to cheat, so when I have recurring urges to cheat on my girlfriend, I figure it's time to break up with her. I don't need to go through with cheating; the constant urge is enough for me to end things.

All My Friends Broke Up With Their Girlfriends: This is by far the most immature reason on this list. While my girlfriend and I are curled up on the couch watching "The Devil Wears Prada," my newly single guy friends are out shredding the karaoke waves with Journey's "Don't Stop Believin" and tearing up the town. That conflict gives me wanderlust. It's much easier when we are all in for a quiet Saturday night with the significant others.

Divergent Lives: If someone moves to another town, or work is taking over, or other life changes are driving you apart, sometimes it's best to end it.

Feeling Selfish: Dating is selfless because you're giving your time and yourself up to a relationship. "Me time" is necessary at some point to work on career/living situation, travel, or whatever. When I'm in a "selfish period," it's tough to participate in a relationship.

I "Misread" My Feelings: This is the most unfair of all the reasons. Both genders make this mistake—you get into a relationship and everything seems so great. Then, a few weeks later, you realize you got wrapped up in something for the wrong reason, dated for the sake of dating, or whatever, and you need to get out.

My Friends Or Family Didn't Like Her: I pay close attention to friend/family opinions because they know me best, and they've earned the right to have their say. Also, friends and family may be able to see things inside the relationship that I'm too blinded to see.

I Took Her For Granted: Great relationships should be easy, but there has to be some tension too—especially in the beginning. If it's too easy, there's a lack of challenge. If I feel like I could have her heart any time any place, sometimes I'll let her go. This almost always ends up coming back to haunt me later, though. I never learn.

She Was Too Negative: All too often, I end up with the brooding, depressed, uptight type who is constantly complaining. I don't expect someone to be happy all the time, but if she makes me unhappy every time I see her, why stay with her?

What reasons have guys used to break up with you, and which make you most angry? What reasons have caused you to break up with guys? Which reasons do you think are the most common cause of breakups- do they differ for guys and women?


MirrorMirror's photo
Sat 10/03/09 04:45 PM
:smile: Most of the time it is the guys fault.:smile: Not always, but most of the time the guy starts acting immature or an azzhole or something.:smile:

Gossipmpm's photo
Sat 10/03/09 04:48 PM
I dump them the second they slurp their soup!!

mineangeleyes's photo
Sat 10/03/09 04:52 PM
Too be honest I’m usually the one who has to do the deed and let go. I wear a pair of running shoes laced and ready to go lol.. I go with my instinct and the red flags and they haven’t steered me wrong. I tend to break up with men who seem weak and needy. Thus I don’t like clingy men. I need a space to be myself; I leave them when I feel the threat of my freedom being suffocated and when they feel they need to morph me into something that fits their ideal world. I’m blunt and honest so they don’t get an excuse... being this blunt usually gets me in trouble because I think people can’t handle the truth! But no games from me!
But quite a few yrs ago... I had one guy break up with me... he told me I was too intimidating... (Definition of his meaning intimidation was talking about my place in life was so different then his. Same age different levels of accomplishments. I had the big career the house the car the whatever and he was just beginning didn’t want to feel he wasn’t good enough when he was around me)
Was this really him being honest with me or did he really have another reason underneath this one. Did he measure the relationship on his being the bread winner or the superior one? I’m of equal there is no boss there should be a partnership. Still to this day he finds a way to reach me and tell me I’m the one that got away! there is not rewind button in my life and wont begin to fathom there should be either.

MirrorMirror's photo
Sat 10/03/09 04:53 PM

I dump them the second they slurp their soup!!
laugh laugh laugh

MirrorMirror's photo
Sat 10/03/09 04:54 PM

Too be honest I’m usually the one who has to do the deed and let go. I wear a pair of running shoes laced and ready to go lol.. I go with my instinct and the red flags and they haven’t steered me wrong. I tend to break up with men who seem weak and needy. Thus I don’t like clingy men. I need a space to be myself; I leave them when I feel the threat of my freedom being suffocated and when they feel they need to morph me into something that fits their ideal world. I’m blunt and honest so they don’t get an excuse... being this blunt usually gets me in trouble because I think people can’t handle the truth! But no games from me!
But quite a few yrs ago... I had one guy break up with me... he told me I was too intimidating... (Definition of his meaning intimidation was talking about my place in life was so different then his. Same age different levels of accomplishments. I had the big career the house the car the whatever and he was just beginning didn’t want to feel he wasn’t good enough when he was around me)
Was this really him being honest with me or did he really have another reason underneath this one. Did he measure the relationship on his being the bread winner or the superior one? I’m of equal there is no boss there should be a partnership. Still to this day he finds a way to reach me and tell me I’m the one that got away! there is not rewind button in my life and wont begin to fathom there should be either.

flowerforyou Goodpoint.flowerforyou No need wasting your time on a dead end relationship:smile:

leander67's photo
Sat 10/03/09 04:55 PM
You're mean...I am not coming over your house for dinner...lol

KimberlyCampbell's photo
Sat 10/03/09 05:09 PM
I should have read this a while ago. I hear all too often, you're so sweet, you deserve better. I guess I need to change some things.

no photo
Sat 10/03/09 05:38 PM

I should have read this a while ago. I hear all too often, you're so sweet, you deserve better. I guess I need to change some things.


NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Don't change the sweetness part OR the deserving part. For anyone.

leander67's photo
Sat 10/03/09 05:44 PM


I should have read this a while ago. I hear all too often, you're so sweet, you deserve better. I guess I need to change some things.


NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Don't change the sweetness part OR the deserving part. For anyone.



I Agree with you totally...

unique1111's photo
Sat 10/03/09 05:44 PM
I left because I didn't like his other girlfriend.

wux's photo
Sat 10/03/09 05:45 PM
I could not use eleven reasons to break up. That's too many, and I can't focus my mind to keep them in one place and choose the proper one for the occasion.

I actually never do the break-up, so it's a relief that I don't have to come up with reasons at all. I hate hard work.

I broke up twice with girls. (one time each.) One was so beautiful and so good in bed and so classy that i felt like I was a cockroach beside her. And she did not step on me, thanks for asking.

The other time the girl was a psycho, and it was not so much a break-up as a break-away from the pack. She kept on chasing me around town, she wanted me, and I had to hire immigrants to form a live wall around me through which she could not penetrate.

Both times the reason was simple, easily come by, without much pretense.

no photo
Sat 10/03/09 05:57 PM

I dump them the second they slurp their soup!!
[/quotelaugh laugh laugh laugh laugh

Atlantis75's photo
Sat 10/03/09 05:57 PM
I don't believe in rules, so there is endless list of possibilities why women would leave a guy.

no photo
Sat 10/03/09 05:59 PM
I only use 2 words to breakup..."Good bye"...laugh laugh laugh

no photo
Sat 10/03/09 06:00 PM
I just enjoy staring at Atlantis75. smitten
Oops, off-topic, sorry

Atlantis75's photo
Sat 10/03/09 06:17 PM

I just enjoy staring at Atlantis75. smitten
Oops, off-topic, sorry


blushing

no photo
Sat 10/03/09 06:18 PM
me too.....blushing blushing blushing blushing

Englishrose2's photo
Sat 10/03/09 06:22 PM
Why men dump women? same reason women dump men? Maybelaugh laugh

daniel48706's photo
Sat 10/03/09 06:24 PM

I dump them the second they slurp their soup!!


SLLUUUURRRRRPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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