hmmmmm this has never happened to me but.....I know my son more than anyone. I would ask him why he thought that way, his reasonings. Now, I would weigh the options....because alot of the time other people can see stuff that we (I) overlook. Our kids know us best. Not always what is best for us but they know us best.

There are ways to make sure it's never.

As the adult, I would have to make my own decision about who makes me happy. As the children, they would have to respect my decision.

Only exception is if this partner is mistreating the kids, unknown to me.

well actually i can relate where your coming from
when i was younger my mom was with this guy for a number of yrs, she met him a few yrs after my parents got divorced.
he had 2 sons but he couldnt accept me or my sisters for he was a only child so he didnt know how to share.. my mom finally told him that we were here first and she left him.. she stated she fell in love with him... about 20yrs ago there was a artical in the paper where he got married he only knew this lady for about 2months and she had a son.. but his kids were not listed in the wedding announcement

Good point..maybe the case. Conversation with the children would be very important and obviously then the kids would be correct..

Such violence!!

My boys are peacemakers, pacifists like their mother, except that oldest one. If they felt the need to kick some azz on my behalf, it would only be because they felt I needed protection. Since I don't hang out with men like that the chances of it ever happening are slim to none...

Stepdad or Stepmom can be such a stigma and tough obstacle to get over for some kids. Others don't have a problem as long as your new found love spends time with the kids and not just you all of the time. I would say listen to the kids, and learn why they don't like your new significant other, ask them if they are willing to give him/her a chance and try to get to know them better and have fun together, if they're still not happy, then perhaps you should listen to the kiddos and say a tearful goodbye to your new love. Yes, I know it hurts. But sometimes we must weigh the scales.

Having been in this situation when I was a kid several times, and being proven right EVERY time, if this happened to me now with my son, I'd listen to my kid and weigh his opinion heavily. Kids, especially younger ones, tend to go with their instincts and they're often right.

Aside from that, what I do affects my son's life just as much as my own, so his opinion counts.

See, just because they're little doesn't mean they're stupid. I totally agree, the kiddos have insight and they know what's best for their mom or dad. Kudos, good comment.

I'm not saying they always know best, but I do think their opinion should be weighed heavily, especially if they're still living at home. As Gypsy stated, other people can see things we often can't.

the love of my life WOULD be able to get along with my children and they, in turn, would think he's terrific.

otherwise, he couldn't BE 'the love of my life'.

that doesn't necessarily mean that i would end the relationship but children can certainly put a damper on any romantic growth, intentional or not.

Hmmmm......either I have had a personality transplant, or I left my jusgement of character in my other pants, to find myself besotted with someone my kids detested.


If it came down to the wire..... the relationship with the man is sacrificed, that being my kids are still dependent.


No one comes between my kids and me.....


no contest.

i think i have found the love of my life, she just left my bed a few moments ago. she's been in my bed before, but i dunno, this time was different. it wasn't me holding her, or kissing her. she held me, she kissed me, she initiated intimate contact beyond a simple hello hug or handshake. i been liking this girl since i first met her. for a while i thought she didn't even really like me, that she was simply humoring me or that she felt sorry for me and was doing me a favor by even talking to me. but i dunno, she's always been quiet and never very communicative, but tonite was different. well that and the fact that she tell me she like me too. wheee! i'm in luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrvvvvvvvvvee.

yeah so i really REALLY like this girl. and with respect to the question asked, if it were my kids who had a problem with the love of my life, as it pertains to this, i'd tell them to quit being selfish little brats for once and consider my happiness for once in their little egocentric lives. it's not like they have to call her "mom" or like her even. but what they do need to do is accept that i've found someone who makes me happy and because they are my children if they love me even half as much as they say they do then they should put aside their own personal insecurities or whatever and be happy for me that i've found someone who makes me as happy as this girl does.

obviously u will change the story to suit ur situation, but i think i more of less made my point.

there is always a hook hidden in the meat somewhere. Just gotta figure out which is the lesser of the evils and do the best you can.

She came into my life made it so much better then left. Thought she was the one for me but seems I wasn't the one for her, life is hard like that but what can you do.

This is a great question. Reminds me of my own youth.
1) depends on the age of the kids, young ones usually can't rationilize.
2) They're probably sticking up for Dad a bit
3) As long as the "new" guy is treating you with dignity and respect and a Lady....probably not a problem, they will come around.
4) And finally like I told my future Step-dad...they have been married now for 30 + years.

If you f*@#^ up Anarctica won't be far enough for you do go!