It would be nice to think that since I was 14, times have changed. Relationships have become more sophisticated. Females less cruel. Skins thicker. Instincts more developed. But there seems to be an element of that afternoon in everything that's happened to me since. All my romantic stories are a scrambled version of that first one.

I'll be back!

She was a unique constellation of attributes; she was my Halley's comet. But the universe is designed to break your heart, right?

"We're out of cornflakes F.U." It took me 2 hours to realize F. U. meant Felix Unger...

What's wrong with you lady? Mothers are supposed to be loving, kind and sweet. I know loan sharks who are more forgiving than you. Your husband ain't dead..he's hiding.

Rob: Where's Ian? Or Ray, or... what is his f*cking name, anyway? What do you call him, Ian or Ray?
Laura: Ray. I hate Ian.
Rob: I hate him too.
Laura: Yeah... I'm sure.

Shall I have Snotty beam you down, sir?
I don't know about this beaming stuff? Is it safe?
Oh yes, sir, Snotty beamed me twice last night. It was wonderful.

Prince John: "What can you tell me about Robin of Locksley?"
Latrine: "Robin of Locksley? Robin of Locksley? Hmm, let me see."
[starts cooking up a potion in her cauldron]
Latrine: "Raven's egg! Blood of a hen! A little more blood, yes! Eyeballs of a crocodile! Testicles of a newt! I bet he's a transsexual now! Robin of Locksley is handsome and brave. He seeks to regain his family's honor. Little sod could be trouble."
Prince John: "Are you certain?"
Latrine: "Certain? You want certain, hire yourself a witch! Me, I'm just your cook."
[serves contents of the cauldron]
Latrine: "Here, eat that."

You're wet.

Yes, it's raining.

"And of course, with the birth of the artist came the inevitable afterbirth - the critic."

As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again..

"Well, we'll not risk another frontal assault. That rabbit's dynamite."

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: "For the experiment to be a success, all of the body parts must be enlarged."
Inga: "His veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size."
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: "Exactly."
Inga: "He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker."
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: "That goes without saying."
Inga: "Voof."
Igor: "He's going to be very popular."

I have always relied on the kindness of strangers ...

Fire at will, fire at will

um, which ones will?

You can do it, you're a BIG bee ...

We all deserve to wear white honey, we all do.

We'll just say where we are and go back to the car; we're both in a bit of a hurry ...

Have I Told you lately I love you?

Forever

Always