When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always
have a few sessions
with my students. It helps them get over shyness and
usually, show-and-tell
is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model
airplanes, pictures of fish
they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place
any boundaries or
limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to
school and talk about it,
they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very
bright, very outgoing kid,
takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the
class with a pillow
stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke,
my baby brother, and
I'm going to tell you about his birthday."

"First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol o f their
love, and then Dad put a
seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He
ate for nine months
through an umbrella cord."

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow,
and I'm trying not to
laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The
kids are watching her in
amazement.
"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying
and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh,
Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans.
"She walked around the
house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' Now this kid
is doing a hysterical
duck walk and groaning.
"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies,
but she doesn't have a
sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my
Mom to lie down in bed
like this." Then Erica lies down with her back
against the wall.
"And then, pop! My M om had this bag of water she
kept in there in case he
got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all
over the bed, like
psshhheew!" This kid has her legs spread with her
little hands miming water
flowing away. It was too much!

"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,'
and 'breathe, breathe'.
They started counting, but never even got past ten.
Then, all of a sudden,
out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff
that they all said it
was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot
of toys inside there."
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and
returned to her seat. I'm
sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when
it's show-and-tell day,
I bring my camcorder, just in case another "Middle
Wife" comes along.

that is so cute and funny..

Aw that was really sweet.

That was beautiful. Kids do and say the wildest things, but I bet the
mother would not have been so calm and collected.....