Never trust someone who makes a point of telling you to trust them..lol

I think trust is a huge deal breaker in any relationship, no matter how serious. Do you think people are more dishonest these days with all the 'how to' books and colums about relationships? I think people try tactics to CATCH a mate and it just screws it all up. Is anyone up to old fashioned honesty and integrity anymore?

If you like the guy, why NOT call him back when he calls? Why wait X number of times ? If you like the girl, why NOT tell her? Why play hard to get?

I just dont get the games involved these days,,perhaps i am just too old and too old fashioned but I would love to know if there are some honest, imperfect, no games type folks around anymore....
case in point, met an otherwise wonderful fella, I inquired about a post I saw about him from what SEEMS to be his significant other( did so in a non accusin way even) and now I suddenly dont exist or something,,,


i dont get it,,, Im movin along fine, Im just curious as to what is with the modern relationship 'games'. who can you trust?

I think people these days are a little bit on the guarded side until the trust grows between you but saying that i am probably wrong!!Anna x

lol,, u r probably right. I did open up about my own situation, as I always do, with this person. Being that i am not legally single yet, i just cant understand what would have been difficult about him coming clean,,, oh well. Guess I am just stung a bit because there was what I thought was a mutual intention to be FRIENDS first. In which case none of that would have mattered...


Maybe I am venting because the ex has been stressing me lately,,who knows.Heck, he probably asks if he can trust me too....none of us are perfect,, right?

I don't know. People are caught up in playing games. Round and round yet they do not realize it is them that get in the way of the relationship that they seek.

Nicely put. Can I borrow that line for a song. I really like it.

games get in the way of the love you seek,,,

Nice thing about being a songwriter, EVERY experience is a potential lyrical fantasy.

lol sure. no worries

That's why it's so hard for everyone

Oh

The games people play

Every night and every day........

Anything to keep them from being real!!!!

Suz posted a thread last week about a relationship therapist who published an article telling people to spy on their mates!

I dont condone spying, because that usually comes from a place of distrust to start with. But , in my case, I actually wanted to know MORE about the person because I was so impressed. I wasnt expecting to find anything like I did.....

Move on girl plenty more fish in the sea i would lend you my fishing rod but it dont seem to work Anna x

Thanx english,,,I am moving, i was just curious about what other games people condone or disagree with on mingle...


you are a rose,, btw,,, great advice

Hey, I just posted it, not advocating it

As for trust, yes, I think people are more guarded. But, when you think about it, how can you learn to trust someone and be worthy of trust if you cannot be open about who you are? It's a circle. Yet, some people want to know EVERYTHING in their first conversation with you. Frankly, it's not a job interview, there are certain things that may not be pertinent in the beginning but become relevant as the relationship progresses (i.e. finances).

As for the game playing, I see no point.

She keeps on giving ppl that kind of advice she won't be a therapist for very long in my option.Without trust there is no relationship.

trust no one. be seeing you

Yes, Suz did not agree either. The therapist who wrote it was a man.

Oh definitely the games people play...

I tend to believe my ex plays games all the time with me

And of course I will definitely find it hard to trust someone for a long long time considering my ex left me and then the very next day slept with a married woman. Now granted I wasn't the greatest girlfriend at the time cause I was a bit depressed and didn't realize it but still no need to leave me for a married woman then beg me back a couple months later. Of course I said heck no

and to this day I ask myself... Why do I still talk to him. He's an untrustworthy person and also a bit disrespectful towards me at times

Sometimes it's better to just live and let go of those things and move on so you can find it easier to trust the next person you are with.

Just really hard

Just gonna be a while for me I suppose

Yes there are people out here that do'nt play games ! I am one .I am who I am and that will be discovered by the right person for me .The internet I have found is the perfect hideing ground to play games and be someone your not .Meeting in person if you can get to that point is the only way to let your senses take over and get the real deal.

Almost everyone values trust...especially in a mate. And when trust is damaged or lost, it's natural to be cautious, somewhat guarded. Actually, most of us go through those five steps of grief..1) Denial and isolation 2) Anger 3) Bargaining 4) Depression 5) Acceptance. Now, that doesn't mean we all do this...or we all go through exactly five steps or even in this order. We're individuals...and we're very complex.
But the point is...loss of trust is a big deal. And we can neither rush nor breeze through that loss to get it back...either with the person you loved (and loved you)...or someone new. My own personal experience is similar to others, I guess. It took me awhile. I did grieve. But, when I was ready...I put myself out there. I can't be paranoid...or project feelings that all women are evil and out to hurt me. That's unfair way beyond reason. I would rather put myself at risk again, than become overly protective, withdraw and afraid of another loss. For me, I had to get up, get back on the bike and try finding a little smoother road. I guess the best thing for me was simply challenging myself...asking if maybe I was chasing the wrong types...and I do believe I was. I shifted my focused...and you know, I'm happier! Good luck to all of you. Never, NEVER, give up.

People play games for a variety of reasons. I admit I play them too, usually it's a defense mechanism, you don't want to get hurt. If you're the girl constantly calling the guy and he never calls you, you come off as desperate, so it's best to wait for him to call. If he never calls, his loss, if he does, that means he likes you. I'd rather play a game than embarrass myself, I've done it before, never again.