I have a question for the parents? If u were going through a very uncivil break from your childs other parent, and that parent fluctuated between threatening you and themself, owning and disowning you child,,,,,would u still try to ensure they were a part of your childs life,,? I want to separate my relationship with this person from the relationship our child might have with them, but if they are possibly dangerously unstable,,I dont know how I can.

IMHO the only person you have to be sure has a healthy relationship with your child is you.

If you have a reasonable expectation that the child's other parent is a threat to physical/emotional well being of your child you can request the state to make and evaluation and a judge to make a ruleing but you do not get to make that decision for yourself,

If your ex is as manic as you describe I think you would wamt to document it and act accordingly.

If he is out of your life, try to remain calm and let sleeping dogs lie. If you have the opportunity to move forward and away from where he has easy access fine but don't set off a custody war.

O honey...


*shakes head*


NO. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO NOOOOOOOO!


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Just NOOOO!!

And then.. NOO!


He is an enemy to you if he s against your innocent child, AND yourself. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO ditch that unstable wierdo. He will try to do anything, and DO NOT encourage him to see that child..

hell I WOULD NOT let him see MY child. NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Absolutely not!! Is that the kind of role model you want your child to have? I went through the same situation about 10 years ago with my ex wife. She was threatening my children and doing drugs openly in front of them. I got a protective order slapped on her, and, although it took two years and a lot of money, I got sole custody of the kids with her only having supervised visitation. The things she did really harmed my daughter mentally. (she was only 5 at the time) To this day, my daughter, who is now 15, will not speak to her mother, and if she happens to see her in public, gets extremely upset to the point of hyperventilating. So I say NO! If the dad cannot be a positive role model, do everything in your power to keep him away from your child.

No, I would not ensure that they were a part of my child's life. I would even consider a restraining order if he threatened me. He sounds very unstable.

I am going to be the devil's advocate on this one

I was branded an abuser of children and 21/2 years of court cases to prove that she was bitter and she still is today

It has been generally accepted that she was the guilty party
I am not saying the lady is wrong

In the court the judge was a woman, my attorney was a woman, her attorney was a woman and the judgment went to me with a $3500 fine on her

All I am saying we are only seeing her prospective
Sorry that is my stance

I understand , there are two sides to every story. In fact, the last time he made a suicide threat and I sent the cops to check on him, his story was that I am vindictive and bi polar. I knew he was in an institution once before with depression but I never thought it would escalate to this. I just am not equipped to know what to do in such an extreme situation.

Good point, Robert. I personally believe a parent has to do whatever they can to protect their children. I didn't stop my alcoholic ex from visitation with our daughter, but I did force it to be supervised and did not allow him to take her anywhere in a car (obviously) or for an overnight - as he could not be trusted, or his family (they were all alcoholic) and the ex was violent. Anyways, he made all kinds of wild promises to her and didn't follow through, only broke her heart. She grew up with severe mental health issues due to the garbage he pulled. I never did say a word against him, I made sure she had birthdays and Christmas, etc., he never even sent cards, just empty promises.

If the parent has a mental illness or addiction, then I do believe the child needs to be protected, supervised visitation at least. My daughter went through he1l trying to grow up, all kinds of problems. I do believe there are times/situations though, when no visitation with the absentee parent is better than contact with a "sick parent."

You are the exception to the rule, Robert, and I am sorry your ex put you through that, it was unfair to you and to your children too.

It doesn't sound like he'd be very productive in your child's life at all! If anything it would be more damaging for him to have him as his father, watching him treat both of you that way, than it would to just have a mother.

I'd cut ties with him if at all possible, that in no way can be healthy for you or your child!

I think you are right. He has gone to posting my number and personal info all over the web which puts our daughter in danger. He even has sent me a picture of him holding wooden cross he built himself (it was in interracial relationship) and calling me racial slurs. I am cutting ties, but I wish it could have ended better, for our daughters sake anyhow.

Well I'm sorry it didn't end the way you wanted, but it sounds like you're doing what's best for you and your little one.

Good luck with everything!

Thanx lucky,,,,you're a doll..

I've been there...done that...my son's "father" repeatedly told me he would take my son and i'd never see him again...then in 2006 when I flew 1800 miles to pick up my son from his house, he wasn't there. He had my son an hour away at his girlfriend's brother's house and told the cops "he's in safe keeping". That was it. no more. I filed for sole custody and a year later I got it, by default though..he didn't want to fight me. He was never no good in his life from the start. I knew that and tried to give chances...after that no more chances. He hasnt seen him in over 3 years. I like it that way. My son is better off.

And it seems you are in a situation where your child maybe better off with you.