Is there such a thing? I mean, when does the back and forth stop? I have explained my unhappiness for a while, we have been separated even longer, and I finally ask for a divorce and the significant other goes back and forth from how I am the love of his life to how I have screwed him over and am good for nothing,,,,whats the deal?

Why cant people accept other peoples feelings a bit more graciously? I dont expect him to jump through hoops or do cartwheels at the thought of divorce, but I am being as kind as possible. I have not blamed or insulted him, I just try to explain that I dont have intimate feelings towards him ( I have explained this for nearly a year actually), and for some reason, he cant decide if he will move on or not. I really just want to be happy and I want the same for him. Why does he want me to be miserable,,if he loves me?


I just dont get it.... sorry for venting,,anyone with a similar experience with some advice?

when my ex hubby and i split up for the 4th time we didnt really talk and when we did we had differnt thought but a divorce was finally agree on. but he was the one that was to dang lazy to file. for his excuse was there was no place to file for a divorce. well yea there is.. he just didnt want to pay for it

You have to file for a legal divorce or be married to him forever.

Maybe hes more emotionally needy than you are.


Maybe he has traditional values about marriage, and staying together.

He probably wants you to be happy but is very angry at the present time.

I think its more of the first. I wont go into detail, but trust, he is not THAT traditional. He does however feel like I belong to him and he is having trouble letting go of that mindset.

Well, in most states, divorce is no-fault, it doesn't really matter how he feels about it or whether he wants it or not. He doesn't have to sign. It makes things a little more difficult but you can still file and get a divorce. Just do it, often, that's the catalyst for someone to move on.

uh huhhh... mmm HMMMMM.

there are free legal no-fault forms at the public library.

bottom line is that you cannot help him move on. he needs some counseling but probably won't seek any. you could try joint counseling to help him come to the realization that it is over...but how much fun is that gonna be? might help you work out some kind of reasonable no-fault settlement agreement.

he can't accept it. it is a psychological thing. the reasons are varied. he wants you back. your behavior angers and upsets him. it is not logical.

all you can really do is move on without him.

Only time will heal it all and of course Divorce hummm for me my ex begged for over a year after the divorce took us 4 years to be actually civil to one another like we should be.... its all in time...