Well, I got it in the mail today. It's been over a year coming and I still cried like a baby. Some days I feel very strong and others I'm afraid to lift my eyes off the floor.

Any idea when this emotional rollercoaster will end? I'm a planner you see and work best to a deadline.

No advice - sorry. STAY STRONG

I don't have emotions, wish I could help. You are really an awesome person Chrissy, and you have some of the biggest E-balls I've ever seen.

HI, Just keep thinking of Fetts and you will feel better

Just take it one day at a time. It is cliche advice but really, everyone is different. The circumstances surrounding the divorce can make a huge difference in how long the tears last. I left my first marriage because of(his) repeated infidelity. I was more than ready to be done when I left so there really were no tears during, or after. I still cared for him and we remained friends. But, sometimes things arent that clear near the end and things can be confusing and stressful,, and tear jerking.


I hope everything works out for you though.

your marriage was together a long time. the feelings dont go away overnight, its like a death. you have to go thru all the stages of grieveing it.this is just another step along the path to your emotional recovery

Fear, just what I needed to hear.

Mssilverfox, thinking of mark always brings a smile to my face.

Msharmony, I know you are right. I think I might be pinning for the loss of the marriage, the idea of forever. It's sad.

That's a hard one. I understand. It will get better....

Thanks Handsome.

chrissy it takes awhile I think its different for everyone just take it day by day and it will get better!!

Oh I know how you feel. I waited 3 long years before my divorce was finally done. I was relieved to be rid of his abuse, but at the same time was upset that it was over. I didn't get married to see it end. Give it time and you will start to feel better.

Dont know about you - But first of all I went thru the shock and awe, then it was unbelief, then I was hurt, then I was just plain
P.O'd but eventually I made it around to indifferent.

You will go thru stages-
My prayers are with you & my heart goes out to you- I know this is not an easy time.

I waited for the letter--Didn't think to much till i got it. That was over 2 years ago. i was married 38 years. It's better now but was tough for a good while. Time is the key i think---and my kids--Yhey understood and I do love them so!!

Boy do I understand what you are going through right now. The finality of it hits hard, even if you knew it was coming. You are one tough cookie, and no doubt you have and will continue to bounce back in a fantastic way!! Big hugs to you tonight. As far as a deadline?......everyone is so different. It took me close to 3 years to REALLY be ok in my skin again. It's a life changing experience.

The only suggestion that I might make is...it appears you have 2 beautiful girls from it....I would focus on the positives!

One more milestone, a marker on the side of the road of life.
An important one, make no mistake.
Here is where I am today; it is done, it is over, finally final.
Free to move on, but to where?
Take time to assess where you've been, and where you are now.
Where do you want to be?
Head in that direction, you will get there.
You couldn't get there from where you were before, but you can now.

Not sure Chrissy, everyone is different, but I bet that piece of paper will help to give things a a feeling of finality.

I know what you mean about the whole deadline thing. Unfortunately, it's not one of those things you can just mark on a calender and POOF, your feelings will change. Take it day by day, concentrate on you and your kids, and know that you have a lot of friends here for support, when you need it.

Nicely said my brother..........

But I want Poof!

Chrissy....my Decree Nici (final rubber stamped official divorce papers)..in the mail....

the funny thing was, I had just gotten home after 2 months nursing my Mum through endstage cancer... death, funeral, all the crazy crap...with Xmas New Year in the mud of it all.. whilst caring for four kids in a cramped 2 bedroom townhouse..my Mum wanted to die at home....her wish granted, surrounded by her loves...

So there I am, after 2 months away from my home, (6 hours north of where my Mum had lived)...plowing through the mail... all the bills , Xmas cards..(kind of missed Xmas)...all the stuff.... and there is this legal looking document thing...

I opened it...and roared with laughter....REALLY?....I was legally divorced? OMG!!!!!!!! How funny!!!!!!!!

Not only was I now an orphan...(my dad had died suddenly 2 months before my Mum)....but I was no longer someone's wife....


FREEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Free of everyone else's version of me!!!!!!!!!

No-one's daughter, no-one's wife.....just FREE to be ME!!


I did the first happy dance of the year... and was the first of many.