Fact: I have found even on this site, as well as others; Some people will not date ot talk to you because you are a certain race, or if you are at a certain financial level.

I would say that is pretty shallow...but the heart wants what the heart wants.

Some people chose to be blind and close their minds, and hearts because either they are trying to keep up appearances, or they are afraid of what their parents and friends might say.

Then I can say some people don't know how to love one another...

Because love should not be based on the color of the skin, or what's in your bank account...(although some would say you can't live on love, and you do need money.) I can agree, but it shouldn't be your main goal to be with someone. Because no one should take care of your high Maintenance lifestyle, and appetite.

Society has destroyed the very fabric and meaning of love...unless the person is good looking, wealthy, has a nice home, driving the lastest car; this is the type of person you need to fall in love with. And it doesn't matter if the person is superfiscal, or shallow.

My last question; when you are out shopping for a mate...is looks race, and wealth a factor for you? Or do you look at what's in the person's heart and soul?

Looking for a mate:

Don't need $$$

Just want someone who let's me live
I let them live

Enjoy each others companionship

As you get older you see attractivness in societys eyes means nothing!

I can't speak for other people. Race doesn't matter to me. As far as money, I don't care much about that. I'd like the other person to be working but level of income doesn't matter.

I've always operated under the theory that we all have our own individual preferences and standards. I might not agree with yours, and you might not agree with mine, but that doesn't really make either one of us "right" or "wrong."

I've been called shallow and superficial because I won't get involved with anyone who drinks, or who has kids. These are not arbitrary, pulled-out-of-nowhere standards -- these are based on past experiences where I learned something about what works for me and what doesn't.

I don't expect anyone to necessarily agree with, or even understand, the standards I've set up here. They haven't lived my life; I haven't lived theirs.

So, whereas I can look at a criterion such as race, or financial status, and say "I really don't see why that makes any difference," I do so with the understanding that, while it may not make a difference to me, someone else may have reasons for arriving at their own conclusion.

What comes across as shallow and superficial to an outsider may just be someone being true to himself.

I can see shallowness in an income level...circumstances can be at hand that play into the money wheather good or bad.
as far as race, I see no shallowness in that. we all have our own internal attraction deal breakers. I know I have my own deal breakers!!!!!!!!!!!

Since who you decide to spend your personal time with is only subjective to your own desires, mores, values and fancies, it's not a matter of being "shallow" or not. It's a matter of personal choice.

You can think me shallow if I don't date outside my race or income level, but that's your problem, not mine...

I don't think its shallow,I think its only your personal choices that u make who u go out with.

Some fellas look at the eyes
Some fellas look at the nose
Some fellas look at the size
Some fellas look at the clothes
I don't care if her eyes are red
I don't care if her nose is long
I don't care if she's underfed
I don't care if her clothes are worn
First I look at the purse!
Some fellas like the smiles they wear
Some fellas like the legs that's all
Some fellas like the style of their hair
Want their waist to be small.
I don't care if their legs are thin
I don't care if their teeth are big
I don't care if their hair's a wig
Why waste time lookin' at the waistline?
First I look at the purse!
A woman can be fat as can be,
kisses sweet as honey
But that don't mean a thing to me
If you ain't got no money
If the purse is fat....that's where it's at.
Some fellas like the way they walk
The way they swing and sway
Some fellas like the way they talk
Dig the things they say.
I don't care if they wobble like a...
or talk with a lisp
I still think I'm a good lover
if the dollar bills are crisp
First I look at the purse!
First I look at the purse!
First I look at the purse!
First I look at the purse!
I don't care if you got yourself a wrap
all I want is your pretty green cash
Bought me a suit, bought me a car
Want me to look like a hollywood star
Money, (Money!) I want money (Money!)
Baby, ain't no "why", baby (Money!)
I need money!
First I look at the purse!
First I look at the purse!
First I look at the purse!
First I look at the purse!

Ok, looks race, and finances...


Looks, well someone definitely has to have some appeal to me.



Race, well.. hm leme tell ya. Ive dated a few Latin guys, and my family hasnt given me any flack for that.. no comments.. but being that thy are all pretty racist it would create me problems dating someone who was black for sure.

Im positive there were all kinds of racist remarks behind my back.

Not that its any of their freaking business, but that person would have to be something pretty special if they were, and plus.. they and I would still recieve a problem.


Doesnt that make you ill?


Id be totally ostracized.

I spose its lucky i havent met anyone of this race that I have been heavily interested, and believe me if I did I would go for it.. but I would be really sickened at the garbage behavior, and comments Id recieve.

As far as finances.. You know I have dated a immigrant busboy, I have dated struggling musicians, and artists, I have dated..*jeebus* some of the brokest guys ever.

heres the deal on that... Im not going to put myself through that crap anymore. For one I believe in traditional roles. Im sure as hell not going to afford every date, and most broke men get insecure, and wierd about that anyway.. it makes it near impossible to have a good time. You cant have every date cash free. Im sorry.. it just doesnt work that way.

A broke guy just makes a relationship sucky, things dont flow.. you cant go anywhere hardly, and enjoy eachother...

I suggest people stay friends until the guy can afford things.

Is it important? O YEAH it IS MAJOR. Its unfortunate, but its true.

When a guy is broke it makes things suck.

"heres the deal on that... Im not going to put myself through that crap anymore. For one I believe in traditional roles. Im sure as hell not going to afford every date, and most broke men get insecure, and wierd about that anyway.. it makes it near impossible to have a good time. You cant have every date cash free. Im sorry.. it just doesnt work that way.

A broke guy just makes a relationship sucky, things dont flow.. you cant go anywhere hardly, and enjoy eachother...

I suggest people stay friends until the guy can afford things.

Is it important? O YEAH it IS MAJOR. Its unfortunate, but its true.

When a guy is broke it makes things suck."





OHHHHHHHHH That can so totally be argued!!!!!! I for one am not going to pony up the investment of "big Bucks" until 1 thing happens. she totally shows she is the person she says she is thru time and consistancy. far too often we pay for nice dinners and events only to find out that she is a narrow person who is looking for a free meal or a free vacation and when the next bigger wallet comes by, she's gone. If she wants me, then its the time we spend together learning about one another that will prove that. NOT WHERE I TAKE HER!!!!!

You are a brave soul to pose those questions since these are mostly avoided. One thing about placing an ad on the internet, there is less of a rejection factor, (in my own opinion) if that person has a problem with dating outside their race, or if the big dollar is important and esthetics is at the top of their list.

Because a person chooses to date outside their race is a choice. Thank goodness for our youth growing up now; the color scheme is becoming more blurred (including culture). I have not ever been one to stay on "one side of the stream" anyways. I have always dated outside my race and eventually married a white man. It helped that he lived in the same city, was educated and we both shared intellectual repartees and liked to golf. Our divorce had nothing to do with color more than it did with bad values - dishonesty, unreliable - high maintenance and other things I could not see living the rest of my life with.

Equal values, positive character traits, common interests help.

Hey, we all have a little bit of if not more of color/ethnicity. I do and am proud of all of them.

Looks: As far as looks are concerned, many people want to know that they compliment one another. I know that I do. I do not want to be the butt of any man's insecurity and the filler of what they lack in. It's like Shrek and the beautiful prince. Beauty is what is in the heart. If you are fortunate enough to get both, that's even a bigger gift. What other's can see as ugly can be beautiful to another.

Money: Although many choose to play it down, it is important, (yes it is). I believe it has to be how one chooses to spend, invest, or use it as a tool to get what they want to get with conditions attached. If a man/woman chooses to spend lavishly on a person of interest, let it be unconditionally.

I took care of my ex (and other men)which should not have been that way. There were no 70/30, 60/40, or 50/50. I was 98% provider. I lavished this man with gifts and dinners. My money was all his money. I do not ever want to be with a broke broke man. My brain was broke broke. Reality kicked in finally, after the 1 and only year of marriage and I ran fast. He was the final link to make me realize that I deserve better and will not choose the "road mostly travelled."

All of what I say is "in my own opinion." :-)

seems like spme people just overthink things and agonize and analyze every potential aspect of what love could be, should be, might be

love just happens. if you try to analyze it then you limit it

just let it happen


all of those things, race, money, intelligence, lifestyle, are all factors in love

and none of em too