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| Topic: Lost And Need Advice | |
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well i wouldnt say anything at the risk of starting drama and he just might cut you off entirely.
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If the guy has a girlfriend... you should have enough respect for him as your friend to not try and ruin things for him. If you bring it up, it could back fire and you will lose him altogether.
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Just remain friends. Don't be selfish. |
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Just remain friends. Don't be selfish. |
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question for all lovely ladies finding date is like buying a Lotto?
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Well mea nd him juss talked and ii told him the situation face to face.....His reply to me was he kinda ahd a clue that was something like what was going on and that he doesnt think him and his girl gonna be working out much longer they seem to be fighting alot more than ii know of and he thinks shes cheating on him. ii also explained ii havent been purposely avoiding him but didnt wanna rik detroying our friendship and he told me thats impossible were attached at the hip and if we werent why would he consider going outt widd me if all doesnt work between him n his girlalot
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I've been in your friend's position (except I'm not bi). I had a buddy I grew up with and we were very close. I had no idea he had stronger feelings for me than just friendship. He never told me and I have zero gaydar (not to mention I've never been too swift on the uptake on these sorts of things). Eventually, his feelings drove him to attempt suicide. He changed his mind at the last minute but still ended up in the hospital. I visited him there and that's where he told me how he really felt about me. I was stunned and speechless. Shortly thereafter, his parents took him to another state and I never saw him again.
The point is, you should tell him and be prepared to lose his friendship. If you don't, you will always wonder "what if". And that wondering might drive you to do something stupid. It is a lot easier to get over something if you at least tried. Trust me on this. You sound like an honorable person. That's good, but it is hard. When you do tell him, you should make it clear that you're not trying to break up his current relationship and that your feelings are independant of how he feels about her. And that you are prepared to give him his space and allow his current relationship to unfold and blossom or fail with out your interference(sp?). And who knows, you might get lucky and get him in the end. However, you must be prepared to never see him again as well. If the worst happens, you will always remember, but you will get over it. You really will. It'll just take time. And it probably won't be the last time you get your heart broken. Best of luck to you. |
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I've been in your friend's position (except I'm not bi). I had a buddy I grew up with and we were very close. I had no idea he had stronger feelings for me than just friendship. He never told me and I have zero gaydar (not to mention I've never been too swift on the uptake on these sorts of things). Eventually, his feelings drove him to attempt suicide. He changed his mind at the last minute but still ended up in the hospital. I visited him there and that's where he told me how he really felt about me. I was stunned and speechless. Shortly thereafter, his parents took him to another state and I never saw him again. The point is, you should tell him and be prepared to lose his friendship. If you don't, you will always wonder "what if". And that wondering might drive you to do something stupid. It is a lot easier to get over something if you at least tried. Trust me on this. You sound like an honorable person. That's good, but it is hard. When you do tell him, you should make it clear that you're not trying to break up his current relationship and that your feelings are independant of how he feels about her. And that you are prepared to give him his space and allow his current relationship to unfold and blossom or fail with out your interference(sp?). And who knows, you might get lucky and get him in the end. However, you must be prepared to never see him again as well. If the worst happens, you will always remember, but you will get over it. You really will. It'll just take time. And it probably won't be the last time you get your heart broken. Best of luck to you. |
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ughhh ii hate making hard choices like this... ii mean like ina way ii dont wanna lose a friendship but the more ii dont tell him the more it bothers me and everything but at te same time hes been my bestfriend and has done alot for me and ii dont kno wha ii would do without him round Why is it a hard choice? He has a gf. End of story. People are supposed to break up with people before going out with other people. |
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IF he's bi, you should tell him. But make it clear that you don't expect anything from him and want to continue to be his friend. Worst case scenario, he'll run far away and ignore you. And if that's the case, you probably deserve better anyways!
Good luck with whatever you decide to do 
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I've been in your friend's position (except I'm not bi). I had a buddy I grew up with and we were very close. I had no idea he had stronger feelings for me than just friendship. He never told me and I have zero gaydar (not to mention I've never been too swift on the uptake on these sorts of things). Eventually, his feelings drove him to attempt suicide. He changed his mind at the last minute but still ended up in the hospital. I visited him there and that's where he told me how he really felt about me. I was stunned and speechless. Shortly thereafter, his parents took him to another state and I never saw him again. The point is, you should tell him and be prepared to lose his friendship. If you don't, you will always wonder "what if". And that wondering might drive you to do something stupid. It is a lot easier to get over something if you at least tried. Trust me on this. You sound like an honorable person. That's good, but it is hard. When you do tell him, you should make it clear that you're not trying to break up his current relationship and that your feelings are independant of how he feels about her. And that you are prepared to give him his space and allow his current relationship to unfold and blossom or fail with out your interference(sp?). And who knows, you might get lucky and get him in the end. However, you must be prepared to never see him again as well. If the worst happens, you will always remember, but you will get over it. You really will. It'll just take time. And it probably won't be the last time you get your heart broken. Best of luck to you. If the worst happens, it's been my experience that you'll always have a soft spot in your heart for him. I've loved and lost more times than I care to remember. There's a soft spot in my heart for every woman I've ever loved, except one. Always will be. Each time I lost, I was devestated. However, the pain does get livable, in time. So you too will find. On the other hand, you still might get lucky and get the guy. But if it looks like that's not going to happen, make a clean break. Make plans and do things with other friends. Start a hobby, get a pet. Read some books. Whatever you do, just keep busy. It'll be hard at first, but it WILL get easier. I promise. |
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