Challenging and difficult, though they may not be what we want to hear,
are the words that best describe long distance relationships. Keep in
mind however, that the words are challenging and difficult, not
impossible. Many people choose to give a long distance relationship a
try, with the constant curiosity if it was the right decision to make
and if it even stands a chance. The truth is, a long distance
relationship has just as much a chance of succeeding as any other
relationship!

Long Distance Relationships share the same facts as an average
relationship. It involves two people who share an interest in each
other's lives, care for one another and of course have a love for each
other that they hope will only continue to grow. On the other hand, a
long distance relationship does have its differences as well. It takes
away your ability to see each other on a frequent note, as well as the
choice of being intimate whenever you desire, not to mention that there
would be major trust required. Being unable to spend time together in a
physical presence makes it harder to hang on to, but does not spell out
doom for your relationship.

The first step is to make an agreement of what your expectations are in
the relationship and how much of a commitment you are willing to give
and receive. If the two of you decide to be monogamous, then it is clear
that neither of you will be dating anyone else as long as your romantic
relationship exists. Being clear about what you both want is extremely
important, especially in a long distance relationship, in order to
prevent future misunderstandings and mistakes. Do not feel afraid to
tell your partner what you really need and want from him or her, you
deserve the chance to speak from your heart and he or she deserves to
know the truth and judge whether they can give it to you.

Trust is a major necessity if you wish to have your relationship from a
distance. Without trust and honesty, the relationship is in for danger
and unsuccessfulness, just as it would be any other relationship. By
accepting the challenge of a long distance relationship, you also
accepted the fact that you will have to have the trust and faith that
your partner will not be seeing anyone else as promised. Being paranoid
and accusing will only grow doubts, insecurity and tension between you
and none of those three will help the relationship survive successfully.

Keeping each other informed of the friendships you have with other
people and the events that take place in your personal life is a great
way to keep your relationship alive and healthy; and continues to make
your partner a part of your life. It is essential that you receive the
same information from your partner as well, so you both feel the same
security and satisfaction that you both crave. Be creative with the way
you keep in touch, such as calling, e-mailing, faxing and sending cards.
Pay attention to how many times a week you are staying in touch as well.
If you want your bond to stay strong and loving, you have to hear from
one another often, leaving as little room for any of you to start
getting paranoid about anything. Although you cannot be romantic towards
each other on a physical note, you can still perform romantic acts that
will keep the romance department happy. You can do this by sending love
letters and poems, having flowers and gifts delivered, or even sending a
video of yourself with a loving message. Reminding your partner of how
much you think about and love him or her will score high points, making
them miss you more with the constant urge to see you.

Planning reunions play a big part in keeping your relationship exciting,
plus serve you the satisfaction of being able to see and touch each
other occasionally. It gives you the opportunity to catch up on each
other's life in person and to be able to share physical and intimate
activities together, which will fulfill both of your needs and desires.
Not re-uniting every once in a while will only damage the relationship
you have, so if one of you are not willing to visit the other
occasionally, then you may need to question the interest and care your
partner has for you and should probably end the relationship and move
on. If you and your partner truly want this to work out, then you will
both continue to be eager to see each other as often as you can and
every time to have the chance to.

Setting a limit of how long you will be apart is a wise thing to do if
you do not want to end up waiting forever. There will be a day when you
and your partner will have to start planning a serious future, which can
only happen when you are living in the same area or perhaps even living
together, whichever makes you most comfortable. If none of you are
willing to agree on a place to settle and start having a relationship
where you see each other on a regular basis, then you can pretty much
forget about accomplishing anything out of your long distance
relationship. If your partner truly loves you and wants to be with you,
then they would not want to wait forever to be with you.

With the right amount of effort and interest on both parts, a long
distance relationship can survive the obstacles it will frequently be
challenged with. As long as you both refresh your memories of why you
chose to do this in the first place, trust each other, inform one
another of your personal lives, keep in touch, and visit, your
relationship can turn out to be one of the most successful and happy
relationships that ever existed. You both will be secure, happy and
satisfied until the day comes when you will re-unite for good and build
your wonderful future together.

can ypu help with mine and paddy's

Well, said Tom....I have been thinking of this often and hoping that by
taking the steps you suggest that something that began here could be
great. Thanks...as for Paddy and Lisa...what do you need help with Lisa?

Is this from experience or just an opinion of how things should work? I
agree with what is stated, in a perfect world. Unfortunately, this
world is not perfect. Been there, done these things & have a different
opinion. Reason for these questions being asked.

Until you've been there & done the things you say, don't think you can
understand why it won't work. Relationships don't run on a plan, to
many variables, for me.

"Man plans, God Laughs."

Long distance relationships are not impossible. I don't think of it as
work or a struggle at all. Yes you have to have faith, commitment, &
trust....but aren't these attributes needed in any type relationship?

The BIGGEST risk is taking the 1st step. Meeting the person is already
showing commitment big time! Not like meeting a neighbor for a drink
from a neighboring town. You really have to meet the person before any
major plans can be made....make sense? Its my opinion. If the first
step is made and you have the same chemistry in person as on the
computer....green light..GO!

1,600 miles didn't affect my love. Sure I could find someone local and
"settle" for the same fish in the same pond....but I looked in a bigger
sea and caught me a keeper!

I just wanted to add, so as to avoid any confusion, that the words at
the top of this thread are the words of Alina Ruigron.

Dang..I left here, but, I want to reply to Tom's post..

Distance makes no difference, if there is a committment..

Trudy arrives on Monday..There are 1400 miles between us..Had I been
able, I would have been in California last month..

Some here know that I have a problem with entry into tihe US..

So..She is coming heree..We soent a wonderful four days togethewr last
month, and this will see us reunited..

Relationships, long distance, or local, are possible in dating sites..It
has worked for at leas three other couples that I personally know
of..And..Trudy and I are the fourth!!

Don't give up hope.

yay bobby!!good luck to you both!!

JAX!!!!
How ya doin' , you wild and wacky gal???

Amen, UK!

Congratulations to all the wonderful couples here on JSH...I wish you
all the best in love and life!

<- rootbeer, lol!

There is one half of a success story...Say hello to Ken for me, love,
OK??

Will do, Bobby!

doing great Bobby!!3 day weekend ,woohoo!!

Party Hearty, Darlin'..

Carry on...

not with a six yr old hanging around but the thought was nice

hiya bobby jax where have you 2 bean"""

Deactivated until Trudy gets here, Kimmy..But I had to answer Tom's
post..

How ya doin', doll???

i been at the beach and work ..

Best of luck to both Bibby. I hope all goes well for ya's