After many years of dating and relationships, it's my feeling that when a man meets a woman he's attracted to he looks for reasons to get closer to her. He wants to like her. But, it seems to me that women look for reasons NOT to get closer to a man. She appears to be doing everything she can to find something wrong with him.

Am I way off base with this idea?

Just keep looking until you find a woman who isn't waiting for Mr. Hyde to jump out.

This isn't about me. I'm asking a question about what women think about when a man says hello to her during a social event. Sorry if it wasn't clear.

I don't think we think any differently than guys do when we meet someone at a social event. If a girl is acting like she isn't interested, it's probably because she's not.

Sounds extremely familiar. Sux but i have met women that dont fit into that matrix so i guess it just depends on what kind of mix the two of you make, what shes been throuh and what kind of emotional investment either of ya are willing to make in each other. Besides, we're guys, sometimes we're expected to do the chasing. lol. uno! ':nD.

Men do it too. I call it waiting for the other shoe to drop.

It is like looking at something too good to be true and you have heard what they say about it.

This is more common with experienced women. Naive women look for prince charming in men and often see what is not there so they soon become disillusioned.

Once again, this isn't about me. I am suggesting that women are looking for ways to disqulify a man instead of ways to get closer to him. Women always seem to think men have some kind of hidden agenda even when we don't and she wants to find out what it is.

And yes, women are VERY differant from men on this point.

...nope. Many stupid people put obstacles and drama and excuses into their relationships. The sabotage is ridiculous.

1. I never said "you" in my post.
2. You asked for my opinion, I gave it and now you want to argue with me about it. If you've already made up your mind on this, why ask what other people think?

Now this is helpful. You are assuming that he is too good to be true? That he is out of your league and therefore must want something else.

Well, actually you did say "you." Look at your first post in this thread.

I am interested in your opinion. I don't mean to challange it, I am simply asking for more information.

Most likely the said women you are speaking of have been hurt. So now they have this layer of ice around their heart. You cant give up, you should keep trying unless she strictly tells you to leave her alone. She wants to make sure your not going to hurt her too. Warm her up with your kindness and patience. The ice will eventually melt away when she is comfortable with you.

Right. And, then you corrected me and told me it wasn't about "you" so I gave you a generic answer. Splitting hairs here.

My opinion is simply that men and women are not as different as you seem to think. Or whoever seems to think, since this isn't about you. Older men and women have been around enough to know that no one is as wonderful as they seem when they first meet. It's just the wisdom that comes with age and experience and knowing better than to jump into something too quickly.

LOL Thanks for the advice, but I have found it works much better if I playfully tease a woman and challange her.

I really hate these generalities based on gender. I'm betting you could poll the ladies on M2 and find they feel the same about men (in general!) Just don't settle...

LOL Thanks for the advice, but I have found it works much better if I playfully tease a woman and challange her.

I dont want to have to chase a man. He should be upfront and being a tease gets you know where but a bunch of non serious relationships that end once the true colors are shown.

could it be that women can afford to be more selective?

in other words, if a woman goes to a bar looking to get picked up, her chances of doing so and leaving with some guy are far greater (i think) than if a man does.

even in instances where a one-night-stand isn't the goal. it's easier for a woman to find a guy to date than the other way around, so the option of dismissing isn't as deadening since there's always some other guy coming around showing his interest?

Okay, so fear. Helpful. Thanks.

But, I do think men and women are differant on this. I don't know any men afraid of getting their hearts broken.

Never out of my league noone should ever believe in leagues, just waiting for the inevitable let down that is surely to come from experience.

It is really a bad attitude to have because if you expect the worse you will usually find it but if you have been around the dating scene for a while you come to expect it.