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| Topic: FOR MEN AND WOMEN: YOU'RE "CLICKING", THEN... | |
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Edited by
trublu4u
on
Tue 08/25/09 04:00 AM
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...nothing.
 (THIS ONE GOES OUT TO BOTH THE GUYS AND GALS OF MINGLER2!) The last email you received was positive...upbeat, with a promise to reply ASAP. You had been elated that you might have finally found your "soul-mate". Abruptly, however, she never replied back, ever again. What happened? (...and ladies, please don't say this is fair compensation for all the times some guy promised you he'd call, but never did. Stop your celebrating the fact that women do this to guys, as well. If you are to be the "superior" gender, then this won't be accomplished by making a mans' blunders, now will it?) I CAN RELATE TO THESE DISTRESSING DISAPPOINTMENTS...  A certain female mingler and myself really seemed to click, at least for a while. We discussed relationship issues...divorce, cheating, how the roles of men and women have seemed to change, child-rearing, etc., etc., etc. We seemed to agree on most everything. If there was some disagreement on a particular point, this was readily stated, yet accepted, and without any drama. I was really uplifted that we seemed to connect on so many issues... ...and then... ...nothing. She has a demanding job, but not near demanding enough to prevent her from just typing, "Hello...very busy...will get back to you very soon." This was the gist of her last email, but that was quite a while ago. THE DOWNSIDE OF HONESTY...  She had seemed way too mature to have been playing any kind of game. I had been honest in my last email to her (as we always had been...), bringing up some controversial issues. However... ...IF SHE'S LOOKING FOR AN "HONEST" MAN, THEN OBVIOUSLY THERE IS A DOWNSIDE TO THAT WHICH SHE SHOULD BE WILLING TO ACCEPT. As I should be ready in accepting her own opinions...to be ready to "agree to disagree". Who knows? LESSONS LEARNED...  1) One really shouldn't take this "mingle2" thing too seriously... 2) Though I prefer communicating by typing (so there are few interruptions...), serious misunderstandings MAY RESULT, regardless. 3) Some people (men and women both) simply "wear their heart on their sleeve", and are dramtically easy to offend. What do you do after you've been dumped in a very cruel way by a significant other? You turn to sites like www.mingle2.com, of course! And you've got your "mad" on... 4) She may be married, and had been caught emailing you... 5) She could have met some untimely end...(sorry, but this could be true...) 6) Her long-lost lover might have made an unexpected return 7) She decided that she is, indeed, a lesbian. 8) For whatever reason, he/she had decided that, be it a distance issue (long-distance romance...), she had found she was pregnant (WHOA!), any resulting relationship would only be short-term, at best. EITHER OF YOU COULD MAKE ONE FINAL CALL, BUT YOU RISK DRAMA...and who wants/needs drama? My point is... FORGET HER/HIM!   Heck, if you've been left wondering, as I was, FORGET HER! Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Hanging your hopes on just one mingler is very unwise. This is a gradual, seductive, psychological change which will reveal itself only too late for you, every time. A mature man or woman should be quick to bring any supposed offense to your attention, so you may explain yourself and apologize. But not everyone can be expected to be mature. Just don't waffle on your beliefs to appease her. She may be impressed enough with THAT to continue communicating with you.    |
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I UNDERSTAND THAT. NEVER TAKE THESES PEOPLE SERIOUS TO SOME ITS A GAME AND PEOPLE GET HURT.
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I UNDERSTAND THAT. NEVER TAKE THESES PEOPLE SERIOUS TO SOME ITS A GAME AND PEOPLE GET HURT. My personal favorite is the you talk all night on email and call on the phone and talk more the next day then nothing no call no email and then well you move on to the next mingler. |
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well if i say hi and get no reply i just move on if they are interested they will reply back.
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It happens IRL too. Dated 10 months, a slight bump in road, and I didn't hear from her for 8wks. And that was after 2 ph. messgs. and 2 emails that I sent. Moved on before she finally got back to me. But I sure heard back from her quick when I told her I was seeing someone else.
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how can you attach to someone via e-mail and online chat? It might just be you man...
where's the fun in that? Who wants to be in heavy discussions all the time... do you want a pen-pal to vent or are you looking to actually have some FUN with someone ??
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"Gloom, despair, and agony on me
Deep, dark depression, excessive misery If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all She met another and PFFFT she was gone" Roy Clark & Buck Owens |
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Then there is the time difference factor, while you're asleep she/he may be awake and vice versa.
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Your biggest piece of advice here was "FORGET HER/HIM...correct? Then WTF is up with the ginormous diatribe here? Are you hoping she sees this? Maybe you should take your own advice...? Just sayin'?
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I will never understand people calling others their "soulmate", when they haven't even met. Long distance internet relationships are just FRIENDSHIPS, till you meet. I know many wonderful ladies here, but would NEVER call them that, esp. since we have never met.
Anything good takes time & effort to build. GO SLOW GUARD YOUR HEART THINK WITH THE HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDERS. Those are the 3 main rules for ANY BUDDING RELATIONSHIP. |
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how can you attach to someone via e-mail and online chat? It might just be you man... where's the fun in that? Who wants to be in heavy discussions all the time... do you want a pen-pal to vent or are you looking to actually have some FUN with someone ?? BECAUSE...she had mentioned she wanted to be very careful with her heart, and these issues were important so as to safeguard it. We clicked on 95% of the relationship issues we discussed... There was no "venting"... There was a LOT of "having fun"... People tend to open up more in print than in a face-to-face...attachments can develop quickly this way. There's more to email and online chat than "cyber"... It was kind of a "grown-up" thing. |
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You found your soul-mate through a few emails?
a "grown-up" thing? here's my take- start with how ridiciolous all of that is before you ask yourself any other questions. Take your own advise on not taking the mingle2 thing too seriously. |
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Edited by
trublu4u
on
Tue 08/25/09 01:30 PM
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Your biggest piece of advice here was "FORGET HER/HIM...correct? Then WTF is up with the ginormous diatribe here? Are you hoping she sees this? Maybe you should take your own advice...? Just sayin'? Phuque...always so charming. I'm just relating my own past experience so as to help the guy who started this thread. My reply is extensive, the same as my intent for consoling this person. This topic began as an actual reply to a guy with a really sad look in his profile pic in HIS topic, "Women Who Don't Respond". Uhm..."ginormous"? WTF: "What...The Fonics?" p-h-o-n-i-c-s |
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Edited by
earthytaurus76
on
Tue 08/25/09 01:08 PM
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...nothing. (THIS ONE GOES OUT TO BOTH THE GUYS AND GALS OF MINGLER2!) The last email you received was positive...upbeat, with a promise to reply ASAP. You had been elated that you might have finally found your "soul-mate". Abruptly, however, she never replied back, ever again. What happened? (...and ladies, please don't say this is fair compensation for all the times some guy promised you he'd call, but never did. Stop your celebrating the fact that women do this to guys, as well. If you are to be the "superior" gender, then this won't be accomplished by making a mans' blunders, now will it?) I CAN RELATE TO THESE DISTRESSING DISAPPOINTMENTS... A certain female mingler and myself really seemed to click, at least for a while. We discussed relationship issues...divorce, cheating, how the roles of men and women have seemed to change, child-rearing, etc., etc., etc. We seemed to agree on most everything. If there was some disagreement on a particular point, this was readily stated, yet accepted, and without any drama. I was really uplifted that we seemed to connect on so many issues... ...and then... ...nothing. She has a demanding job, but not near demanding enough to prevent her from just typing, "Hello...very busy...will get back to you very soon." This was the gist of her last email, but that was quite a while ago. THE DOWNSIDE OF HONESTY... She had seemed way too mature to have been playing any kind of game. I had been honest in my last email to her (as we always had been...), bringing up some controversial issues. However... ...IF SHE'S LOOKING FOR AN "HONEST" MAN, THEN OBVIOUSLY THERE IS A DOWNSIDE TO THAT WHICH SHE SHOULD BE WILLING TO ACCEPT. As I should be ready in accepting her own opinions...to be ready to "agree to disagree". Who knows? LESSONS LEARNED... 1) One really shouldn't take this "mingle2" thing too seriously... 2) Though I prefer communicating by typing (so there are few interruptions...), serious misunderstandings MAY RESULT, regardless. 3) Some people (men and women both) simply "wear their heart on their sleeve", and are dramtically easy to offend. What do you do after you've been dumped in a very cruel way by a significant other? You turn to sites like www.mingle2.com, of course! And you've got your "mad" on... 4) She may be married, and had been caught emailing you... 5) She could have met some untimely end...(sorry, but this could be true...) 6) Her long-lost lover might have made an unexpected return 7) She decided that she is, indeed, a lesbian. 8) For whatever reason, he/she had decided that, be it a distance issue (long-distance romance...), she had found she was pregnant (WHOA!), any resulting relationship would only be short-term, at best. EITHER OF YOU COULD MAKE ONE FINAL CALL, BUT YOU RISK DRAMA...and who wants/needs drama? My point is... FORGET HER/HIM! Heck, if you've been left wondering, as I was, FORGET HER! Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Hanging your hopes on just one mingler is very unwise. This is a gradual, seductive, psychological change which will reveal itself only too late for you, every time. A mature man or woman should be quick to bring any supposed offense to your attention, so you may explain yourself and apologize. But not everyone can be expected to be mature. Just don't waffle on your beliefs to appease her. She may be impressed enough with THAT to continue communicating with you. Hey, whatever your process is.. its good youve learned something in the end.. some people never get that far, and go through alot of mourning and crap. I dont mind you venting. Amen to you brotha. Thanks for sharing. |
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Edited by
trublu4u
on
Tue 08/25/09 01:32 PM
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You found your soul-mate through a few emails? a "grown-up" thing? here's my take- start with how ridiciolous all of that is before you ask yourself any other questions. Take your own advise on not taking the mingle2 thing too seriously. It seems the "cyber" comment "rubbed" you the wrong way. So stop that! You'll go blind!  Uhm..."ridiciolous"? Now that's just plain "ridiculous"! I think you missed some very pertinent points here... ...wadeva. Have a nice day!  |
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You found your soul-mate through a few emails? a "grown-up" thing? here's my take- start with how ridiciolous all of that is before you ask yourself any other questions. Take your own advise on not taking the mingle2 thing too seriously. It seems the "cyber" comment "rubbed" you the wrong way. So stop that! You'll go blind! Uhm..."ridiciolous"? Now that's just plain "ridiculous"! I think you missed some very pertinent points here... ...wadeva. Have a nice day!
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"Gloom, despair, and agony on me Deep, dark depression, excessive misery If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all She met another and PFFFT she was gone" Roy Clark & Buck Owens I really miss Hee Haw....... 
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 married
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 Only you can prevent forest fires
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Only you can prevent forest fires I wish I was a Great Guru, too! 
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