If only life were really such a nice story.

Well, you might not think it was so nice if you actually saw the full-length movie.

There are many details I did not describe.

Kathy and Tanya are in the back seat of the car when their parents are killed right before their eyes. It's quite traumatic.

Also, in the first half of the movie Kathy goes through hell living under Tanya's rule. She is also sexually abused which I didn't share in this except.

Todd the veterinary doctor, also has a hard life. In the real movie he and Kathy actually meet early in the movie. He goes off on his own life, and there are excerpts of that throughout the movie. He also doesn't have the best life. In fact, he's driven to become a doctor because his social life is so horrible that he focuses on his studies just to avoid social life.

Then of course, near the end, all the crops are destroyed and it looks like a totally hopeless case where Kathy will lose the farm after all. I had to end it at the state fair where she saves the farm and restores respect for her horses.

The horses are a big part of the movie. They are all half-breeds, part thoroughbred and part Clydesdale, which Kathy refers to as Thorough-Clydes. There are many scenes with Kathy working intimately with the horses. So the film is partly about the horses. In fact, they are the “Hoofed Angles” who save the day in the end.

In a sense the horses are the ‘plot’ of the film.

Although there are the two subplots. One is Kathy and Todd, the other is Tanya and Jon. Tanya and Jon actually come into play at the very end of the movie when Tanya learns about the power of real love and living in the now. All through the movie she was actually lusting to become a movie star, but not doing much toward that goal other than dreaming about it and becomeing dependent on drugs. So she finally wakes up to accept what is, instead of spending all her effort lusting for what isn’t.

There’s also a bit more. Jon has become a quite popular local folk singer. He encourages Tanya to sing with him. It’s been well-established all throughout the movie that Tanya does indeed have a really good singing voice. So she ends up singing with Jon and becomes a kind of mini-star in the end. So she end up getting what she’s always wanted but it means something totally different to her now than she had first thought it might.

It’s a complex human interest story. I had to have it end on a positive note. But not without hardships and struggles along the way. If done well as a movie it should be a tear-jerker in several areas along the way.

Like Tanya’s dream of becoming a movie star, this screenplay might also remain nothing more than a dream.

But at least I shared the gist of it here.

You're right. That's pretty horrific. Sounds like it will be a good movie, requiring a large box of Kleenex to watch.

Hoofed Angels is just one of many movie ideas I have. I've actually been toying with it for quite a long time. In fact, in the original idea Tayna dies when she is hit by the buss. But then later I realized it would be far more profound to have her merely go into a coma and come back out later. So that was kind of like an added 'twist' at the end that added a lot more flavor to the overall story. It offers a seperate drama along-side Kathy's problems at the end. The story shifts from Kathy and Todd to Tayan and Jon, and then back again to the State Fair for the end.

Anyway, I just recently watched a movie with Robin Williams called, "What Dreams May come". If you haven't already seen it I highly recommend it. It's about dying and what happens after death.

The $30 Love Barrier

I received an email from Yahoo Personals. They included some profiles of women who live near me. Upon reading them I did find one woman who appears to be somewhat compatible with me in many ways.

She's a homebody (not too many women are willing to use that word to describe themselves), she's spiritual but not religious, into staying home and just doing simply things to enjoy life, likes to play music (although she didn't mention what instrument she might play if any). She has kids but they are all out on their own.

She lives alone and is only 20 miles from me.

Well, hey I was all set to send her an email and see what might come of it. But when I went to send the email I get the message that I must join the site for $30.

What a bummer!

At first you might say, "Well, hell 30 bucks isn't bad to meet the love of your life". Well, that's certainly true. However, there's no quarantee that I'll ever meet this woman. She might no longer even be an active member of Yahoo! Who knows? Maybe she was never a member and it's a fake profile just to get suckers to pay $30 to join!

Moreover, even if she's real and currently active and seeking, she might read my profile, or view my photo and simply decide she isn't interested and never even reply at all. Or she might simply write back that she's not interested or has scince become involved with someone else.

I'm it's a $30 gamble.

Even if all goes well and she's real, she replies, and we actually meet on a date, even that could turn out to be a gross disappointment.

So I'm sitting here wondering if I want to get suckered out of 30 bucks on a wild goose chase that might end up being nothing more than paying good money just to send an email into a cyberspace black hole.

It is definitely a gamble. Could go either way. How long does the $30 give you access to the site for? Maybe you will meet more than just one woman?

I don't know. The odds are about the same as if you went to Vegas and bet on red. Sorry. I guess I'm not much help.

It's only a one-month membership. Plus, I've already done a search and I don't see anyone else that's close that interests me.

So it's basically a $30 email.

The only reason I would even consider it is because of the 20 mile distance. And the woman does truly sound compatible. It's extremely rare to find a woman who is willing to refer to herself as a homebody seeking a homebody and suggests that she'd happy just staying home and doing simple things around the house. Not that I never want to go out. But I'd rather that going out was the rarity than the norm.

That's my dream come true!

So that's really the main attraction. And then of course, she's also "spiritual but not religious" which is encouraging. I mean there were some other women on there that are fairly close to me too, and seem to have common interests as well, but they say things like, "Christian woman attends services weekly", or "Seeking Christian man".

I mean, from a purely moral standpoint I'm sure that either of these women would be thrilled with me. But if they are going to expect me to become involved in a church group or support the Christian picture that's just not going to work at all.

I can respect Jesus as a man. But I'm not about to pretend that he was the son of Yahweh who died for our sins. Sorry. I just could never keep up such a pretense just for the sake of having a relationship. Above all else I need to be able to be HONEST.

I'm not going to pretend to embrace something that I seriously can't believe in or support with a clear conscience.

So I'm really only attracted to this one who said, "Spiritual but not religious". Even if she believes in the Jesus thing I think I can handle that. I can respect Jesus to in my own way. In fact all of my previous girlfriend were all Christains or Catholics, they just never attended church and didn't take it seriously.

I can handle that kind of "Christian".

That wouldn't be a problem.

So anyway, it's rare to find a woman who describes herself as 'homebody' and 'spiritual but not religious' all in the same breath. And then to be only 20 miles away is truly remarkable.

If it actually worked out $30 would be nothing. But, on the other hand, that's a lot of money to pay for a make-pretend or dead profile.

Or she might even be real and just not be interested in responding for whatever reason. The $30 doesn't guarantee that she'll even reply.

This is an old poem that I wrote
about a year ago as I was just beginning
my journey into shamanism and witchcraft.
Part of my lessons and exercises today
is to get out these old thoughts and
revisit them to see how I view them
a year later.


~ My Journey has Begun ~
by Abracadabra

~~~
The witches path is calling
and the love I have is falling
for the Goddesses of creation
and Her Spiritual vibrations

The forest beckons with her trees
and offers up Her expertise
to share the primal knowledge
of Her raw organic college

The wind has whispered secrets
as She kisses on my face
and overwhelms my spirit
with Her ethereal embrace
I surrender to Her loveliness
as She permeates my space
and takes my soul to greater heights
and fills me with her grace

I must be off to worship Her
in the greatest sense of Love
and listen for Her lyrics
in the singing of the Dove
I finally found my calling
and it fits me like a glove
the Spirit flows within me
and through everything thereof

I've begun a Book of Shadows
with reflections of my soul
to paint a vivid picture
of the Goddess I extol
I've given her my failings
and She has made me whole
I've finally found the purpose
that has been my lifelong goal

Blessed Be!

~~~


My views have changed considerably
since this poem had been written.
However, the gist of it still holds true
I have indeed found a meaningful calling
via the traditions and folklore of old.

Which views have changed?

And, as usual, your poetry is beautiful.

Well, nothing specific to the poem exactly. Just more abstractly concerning how I view 'spirit' in general. I've learned a lot over the past year. I think my journey into the Qabalah was probably the most revealing. It revealed a lot about the nature of spirit as consciouness. I can embrace the "Moon Goddess" more fully now as an archetype of consciousness. This came both from the teachings of Penczak as well as from the teachings of Chopra, and from other authors that I have read as well.

In fact, I was going to start a thread on "Pagan Priests and Priestesses" but I lost a rather extensive OP that I was creating. So owl have to start that over again from scratch when the mood strikes.

It was the last two books of Penczak's Witchcraft series that got me thinking about the responsiblity of everyone to share their knowledge of spirit with those who embrace spirit. But at the same, time there are undeniable conflicts with other religious views (and potentially even conflicts within the Pagan views as well). So the goal of that thread was going to be to discuss how those conflicts should be dealt with from the Pagan point of view.

I might get in the mood to re-write that post some day.

I'm not sure of I should call it "Pagan Priests and Priestesses", or "On the Topic of Spiritual Archetypes". Perhaps the latter title would be better suited to the subject that I'd actually like to discuss.

I need to spend less time here chatting and more time on my studies. I was doing really well for a while and then I took a "break". The break turned into a long lunch and we've gone down hill from there.

I look forward to reading that post when you are so inclined again. I know how frustrating it is to write something like that where you feel like there is someone speaking through you and then you lose it.

It's happened to me.

I've actually been doing quite a bit lately. Not the least of which has been 'socializing'! That's something I haven't done in a while.

I've been continuing my studies into Shamanism and Witchcraft, and I'm actually finishing up book 6 of the Penczak series. I'm about to start all over again from book one. Some people might think that's strange, but these books contain very many exercises and rites to be performed, and thus far all I've been doing for the most part is reading them. Although I have done selected exercises, meditations, and rights. In fact I do meditates quite often actually.

Just the same, each of these books is a "Year and a day" course. There are 6 books. I've only been reading them for a year. So I actually look at this first year as my zeroth year. A year to simply discover what it's all about and how to best approach it.

So in a very real sense I feel like as if I'm only just now getting 'started'.


In fact, many authors including Penzcak, have said that most covens will not even accept a new member who has not been studying witchcraft for at least a year. They do this simply to avoid wasting time on people who are merely curious or who might have a totally wrong idea of what 'witchcraft' is all about.

So in a very real sense I'm only just now ready to become a member of my own 'coven of one'.

I still intend to continuing my studies using all 6 of Penczak's books. Again, some people might suggest that I look into other authors. But I do. I simply use Penczak's books as a very well-organized foundational map. In fact in almost every lesson he suggests more 'external' books to read that I could possibly cover. So reading other material is actually "part" of the course.

This course could be taken over and over again, and be fresh and new every time simply by exploring different "external" sources.

So I'm excited about "beginning" my "second year" of study and this time with even more actual practice with the rituals, meditations, and exercises.

I don't think it is a bad idea at all to use those books as the "core curriculum" so to speak.

Like you said, there is a lifetime of reading avaiable and you have to narrow it down to what works for you. Also, I have found that whatever it is you need to learn will appear before you at the right time. The Goddess works in mysterious ways.

I probably took at least 2 years to get the "big picture". So, if you've done it in 1, you are ahead of the game. I also use Penczack's books as my core curriculum. Then I have other authors that I use for other things I want to explore or do. But, for me, his books help me accomplish what I want to accomplish and it just feels right when I'm doing it. I've made the connection I was seeking to make....therefore I consider it a success.

My Yule altar

Yes, I consider Penczak's books to be a success as well. I like the way he organized the whole topic into the six books. And I like how he organized the wealth of information within each of those books too. Not to imply that I necessarily accept everything he says in the details, far from it. But the organizational outline and suggested exercises and meditations are great, and like you say, they serve well as a foundation to spring from.

Recently I've been concerned about how to communicate the concept of archetypes with other people. I think this is one of the "touchiest" concepts in the whole tradition. In fact, this is the topic that I'd like to explore in the preist and preistess thread (if I ever get around to redoing it).

You just now mentioned the "Goddess", and most Wiccans do worship a Goddess, and often associate her with the Moon. This is indeed a wonderful concept and it works well for me too. However, I also embrace the "God" and associate the god with the Sun. For me the God and Goddess are equally important, however, at the same time I retain the social convention and ethics that I was instilled with as a child, and that is that the man always shows respect for the woman. This stems partly from the fact that it is the woman who gives birth to new life. In my mind, it is this feature of the feminine that the masculine needs to show a deep respect for.

Well, I carry this over into the spiritual world. And while I see the God as perpetuating life, I see the Goddess as the mother of souls. So even in the divine realm I see the God as playing a role of servitude to the Goddess. Not as in "subservient" as being a lesser deity, but rather in the overall scheme of things. The Mother Goddess gives rise to souls, and the Father Goddess maintains a physical environment for the souls. These deities work in harmony for the good of all.

This is, of course, my own personal archetype, and I'm fully aware of this. So I would never attempt to push this archetype onto anyone else. Although I would like to share the ideas with anyone who might be open to them.

Of course, in addition to the Mother Goddess and Father God, (which are indeed archetypes) I also consider the "Great Spirit" which is the ultimate animating life force. I try my best not to think of the Great Spirit in terms of persona. I see the Great Spirit as the underlying yin and yang that gives rise to the consciounesses of the Mother Goddess and the Father God (which are archetypes).

The Great Spirit of course, is not an archetype (at least for me). The Great Spirit is like the Tao. Unknownable and non-personified. I don't even attempt to personify the Great Spirit, but I confess that even though I don't attempt to personify it there is always the underlying human drive to naturally want to personify it.

When casting circles I always cast thrice. I begin casting with the power of the Great Spirit. However, even that is extremely fleeting as I never cast the power of the Great Spirit in its naked form. I invite the Great Spirit to bring to me the power of yin and yang through the magick wand. It is the pure power of yin and yang that I cast for the foundation of the circle. They come together through the magick wand in perfect harmony and are cast out into the magic sphere.

In the second casting, I cast the golden power of the Sun God, and in the final casting I cast the silver power of the Moon Goddess.

The Goddess is always invited last because she is the prime connection to the soul. (i.e. everything else should be in place before inviting her presense) In this way she is the 'closest' to the human consciousness and is therefore the best medium for communiqué. At least in my archetypal model.

But this idea of archetypes is heavy on my mind lately (party from having read the latter two of Penczaks books). It's not that I have a problem with archetypes. It's just that it seems to me that it is the structure of the archetypes that is one of the greatest stumbling blocks to finding compatiblity amoung various religions.

For example, the Christians would never dream of allowing Yahweh or Jesus to be thought of as mere 'archetypes'. They demand that these characters be carved in stone as the only possible manifestations of the Holy Spirit. Therefore they reject all other archetypes as being "false gods". But in truth Yahweh and Jesus are indeed just archetypes like the personified deities of all other religions.

So the issue that I would like to bring up with the Pagan Priests and Priestesses is how they handle 'Archetypes'. I think Penczak handles them well in his books, and I also think that Deepak Chopra handles them well in his works. Some religions forbid (or refuse to consider archetypes at all). For example Taoism recognizing solely the Tao (the non-personified Great Spirit or Holy Spirit) or whatever other label anyone would like to give it. Taoism sees no need for archetypes beyond that because they don't consider intellectual communiqué with the Tao. Instead they perfer to just "flow with the Tao" rather than to attempt any intellectual communiqué with it.

So anyway, this whole thing was just a ramble so if you got this far reading it you have my apologies.

Your poem was awsome!!! Great wording,beautiful flow,and straight to the point of TRUTH ! Loved it,, I write also,, Teri