I'm not looking for help. I'm actually adjusting pretty well, all things considered.

I'm just pointing out that you guys can give whatever recycled advice you want, but that doesn't mean it actually means anything. These are all just words.


"The only one who can make changes in our lives, is us, it just depends how much you want it."
Do you think that people always end up where the want to be? Do all people who end up in bad places end up there because they didn't WANT to be in a good one? Of course not, sometimes you reach up and you fall.

"You're in control of your own destiny."
No, you're in control of what you do. There's no way of telling what will actually happen because of what actions we take, you can only do your best.

"The only one who can make changes in our lives is us."
Really? Cause I'm pretty sure that just about anyone can make a lot of choices that can change a lot of people's lives.

These aren't helpful quotes. These are just words with no real value. I'm all for giving advice and motivational tidbits, but they have to actually advise and motivate.

It is what it is...you have your view, nothing will change that. Motivation is just a tool as with advice, if it isn't used properly it was a waste in the first place. You can motivate an army to kill a lot quicker than you can motivate a country to stand up for itself, millions of people die from hunger...millions die from AIDS.

If something motivational helps us see a brighter day, it wasn't wasted...even if the day isn't all that bright to begin with, see? Aren't emotions fun? The mental ability of humans is vast and wide, and yet millions close out due to their own idealogy and don't ever accept anyone else's view due to personal or public circumstances.

Close the door and open another, or just close the door and shut yourself in...I could really care less honestly as I'm pretty much happy everyday regardless of the **** life has handed me. Seen tragedy, seen murder, seen hunger, seen it all...but doesn't mean I'm going to stick it to someone that is just trying to help out.

I think we can all relate to someone who hasnt found someone that they are happy with, no big deal.


I mean, i believe we should have other things to focus on in the meantime, and put ourselves out there as available.


Skills, and tools, and coping mechanisims are all the difference.


Moping, and whining and crap gets you nowhere. Plus, if you must be with someone at all times, (not that its healthy) but problem solving in that situation would be taking advatage of the fact that there are millions of people out there to spend time with if your really that lonely.

I see no problem for the person in question.

Listen, it has to do with how YOU CHOOSE to handle it. Noone is responsible for your feleings but YOU. You choose how you feel, noone, and nothing can MAKE you feel anything. Until you realise this, you will be allowing everyone, and everything to control how you live your life in your mind. YOU are thinking this.. it only exists in... YOUR world.

Presenting a different point of view and then defending it isn't being closed-minded. If I simply give up a point of view any time someone raises an opposing one, then I don't actually have one of my own. Clinging to a point of view that you know to be obsolete is being closed-minded.



That's right, I CHOSE to be saddened by the loss of a family member. Her dying didn't make me feel that way, it was my mind! *Gasp* Thank you so much. That whole bit with the screaming for help, the look of terror she had, the chips of dried blood in the tile, that was all in my head. A self-destructive mind-**** because I figured life was just going just a little bit too well..

It's not as though extraneous circumstances can lead to a chemical change in the body that gives us feelings of sadness, levity, lust or aggression, right?


This is what I'm talking about. This isn't advice, it's holier than thou bullsh*t. What the hell kind of advice is "it only exists in... YOUR world." If I drove a car through a shopping center, plowing over everyone in sight. Stopped, got out of the car and looked at all of the enraged and saddened survivors and said "Don't be upset! It's all in your mind!" Do you think that'd actually help anyone?

ditto

that's all self pitying bullshat

you have a choice in how you respond to any crisis or tragedy. If you choose to bitter and cynical and negative then so be it but dont expect my sympathy.

I have it harder day by day than 99% of the people in this country and I choose to be happy and cheerful instead of whining about it. And I dont have patience or tolerance for those who choose not to

Kind of egocentric there, aye? Didn't say you. You're entitled to your opinion, and like I said in the same post...it really doesn't matter to me either way.

It's self pitying bullsh*t to think that people have feelings? Kudos for having a hard life and dealing with it, but you miss the point. I think it's pretty natural for a person going through hard times to be upset about it. I respect people who can keep their head high in hard times, but I'm not impatient or intolerant of those who can't.

There's a difference between not having control of something and giving up control. There are things that make people sad, and there are people who make themselves sad. I agree that people who simply give up on happiness are making a bad choice, but to say that people who are unhappy choose to be so is just stupid.


How's about you don't quote me and then say something like that if it's not directed to me then? It's not egocentric, it's common sense.

I knew not to take it personally when you attacked me in a different thread...
especially considering it was one as silly as hair color preferences.

You are an angry man, and are pretty much attacking anyone who is not able to say what you need to hear.

I wish you peace.

yeah that was kinda what I was saying too. I just dont have the kind of manners to say it as nice as you did

I find saying "you can control how you feel about things" interesting.

Feelings by their definitions are a reaction not a choice.

Thinking through feelings and keeping them in perspective so they do not mess up your life is an action. Given the person has the experience, coping skills, and support some actions are more possible than others.

Dealing with some experiences few people have experiences with, except by observation, or some cleaned up text book version doesn't really make many people qualified to be supportive.

The example of saying being with your dying parent is somehow better than not does not even acknowledge the bazilion feelings that a person would go through much less how alone you feel to find anyone who would have a clue how that feels or that you would want to.

Can anyone say they control the memories they have? We may control the memories we make but not necessarily the ones we have. Control of your own life is an illusion of a soft life. IMHO

No.

Haha, you posted a thread saying that guys particularly liked blonds because it they were looking for virgins and I made a point with a sweeping generalization of my own. I'm sorry if you thought I was attacking you, but I would've said that to anyone who posted that thread.

I've already said I'm not looking for advice. I'm actually doing pretty well. I found my reasons to keep going and I am. But to say that it's not natural to feel sad and that I chose that for myself is something I think is worth responding to.

To a point, I think it's also worth responding to people who take my views out of context or misrepresent them. I've continued to do so because I'm talking to different people, but I'm not gonna go back and forth with one person over an issue. I'll say what I'm gonna say to who I'm gonna say it. I think it's pretty reasonable, considering I'm not the one belittling other people's problems.

Again you have misinterpreted my words, that was not what was in the thread.
And you have attacked those here who attempted to help you.. you put your problem out there and used anger in retaliation because your hurt has kept you from communicating...
peace brother

I just say let it go...no point, as is evident through this entire thread.

yeah I let it go

this started as a kinda inspirational encouraging type thread and now its just turned into one person trying to crap on the parade

and I choose to not participate in so much negativity

laters

I used a personal situation as an example. Clearly you read what you wanted to read and that's cool. Generally people without real foundations for what they're saying are content to dismiss other people as being unfit for discussion instead of actually explaining their point further =P

Spot on dude. Clearly I could not put it better myself.

There you go, articulated well without the use of cynicism or sarcasm. If you can say that you disagree with this post and actually provide a sound reason as to why (not even one I agree with), please do.

holy cow what happened here