ok I started seeing this one guy a few months back and him and I decided to back off and take it slower and then one thing led to another and he ignored me for about a week... Then because a few of my friends told me to I ignored him for about a week... then I got interested in another guy and left him alone (exp. for one or for text msg. because he works for this compeny that has an "open" sign light and it wasn't light up so I told him about it). Anyways about a week ago a friend of a friend of his came to my place of work and we started being friends. Then today I told her what was up with me and the guy and from what I understand she already knew but decided to try to become my friend anyways and to make an already long story short I think shes trying to hook both me and him back up. The prob. is this one. I still wanna know why he ignored me for about a week, two what exsactly does this guy want...

Anyways is there anyone (esp. you girls cause if a guy tells me that I outta stay away from him I'll think that guy is trying something... sorry guys). Who has any thoughts on this matter. Oh and me and that one guy that I got interested in it didn't work out....

go right to the source for your answers

Communicate.

Ask him.

If you decided to take it slow, why be bothered that he ignored you for a week? Maybe that was his way of giving you what he thought you wanted.

Well mostly it was him who decided to slow down.... he has been hurt in the past (five times in fact)... cause he always got with a gold digger and didn't wanna end up with the "wrong" girl again although I mean you'll have to take my word for it I am not a gold digger at all... even he himself would tell you that yeah when **** (can we swear here?) went down I was the one who helped him. Now I mean I have been going back and forth with this (is he worth it... yes cause he is a nice guy even though he has his moments or faults really).... and I mean there maybe a "good" reason why he did ignore me (he might have been really, really busy I mean after all he works for a "big" compeny) so.....

Also to that girl that said about the source are you talking about talking to him? cause both him and I have been "avoiding" each other more or less which is really hard to do cause I just started working at a place that is like "next door" to where he works at. That was not meant to happen at all.... I had an issue with my phone once and on the way to talk to my cell comp. I walked by the mgt. of the place and asked if they were hireing and the next thing I know I'm hired lol.

I can see a serious communication breakdown occurring. It seems like both of you misread each other.

The thing is men and women think WAY differently.

If you tell a guy you want space or to take it slow we assume in general (lovely word and I will qualify this that not ALL men do this but this is our pattern IN GENERAL! Ha Ha) that we are getting too close to your "Territorial Boundary" and we back away to give you space. Taking it slow does not mean daily contact with us.

He may also have had to have been trying to cope with some other deeper emotional stuff he can't quite talk about at the moment.

Still, all you can do is ask and get information and make an educated decision based on what you learn about the situation. And I don't blame you for wanting to rush into anything.

Just a word of caution, some men are good manipulators and use this as a tool to feel out how "gullible" (PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T TAKE THIS TO MEAN I FEEL YOU OR ANYONE ELSE IS GULLIBLE! It is the best word I could think of of this statement!) a woman is. They toss out bait, and yank it away from you. Then they toss it back into the water to see how worked up you are and if you bite again. Men also view how you proceed as to how they will play on your emotions.

A little caution can go along way. Manipulators can come on real smooth before the games begin. Just be careful with your heart. It is hell to fix once it gets broken.

Well, it sounds like he has major trust issues and that can make a relationship super hard. Try to see if you can talk to him about what he really wants, if he's not ready for a relationship right now, if ever, it'll be good for you to know that. I've had lots of guys who "tried" to be in a relationship, but simply weren't ready for one, or didn't really want one, and they were too cowardly to admit it. So maybe you can get him to admit what he wants, at least that way you'll know what to do. It sucks to waste your time on someone, when you could be with someone else.

idk... it seems you glossed over some parts... even sounds like you left him to find someone else, that didn't work out... and now you want back with him...

maybe leave him alone and figure out what you want in life....
but what do I know, i'm just a guy....

Thank you I'll take that into consinderation? hmm but yeah pretty much thats why it didn't work out with that one guy like I think he figured once he had me "wrapped" around his finger he could ignore me too and so I left him alone too.... him I don't regreat cause that one was "new" (sort of anyways) but with this one guy A. his name keeps popping up... I kid you not I was watching TV and some show came on that I didn't exspect his name to come up.. and sure enough it did (which call me crazy but I'm a sign reader and if something like that happens I take it as a sign). Anyways B. One of my "first thoughts" with this one girl (like I said its a friend of a friend of his...) was that he sent her over to check on me... the thought has changed now... that she just wants to get to know me but also wants to try to get me and this guy back together (which maybe I'm dreaming there).

Personelly I wanna be his friend again and am hoping that your right that he had some real issues to deal with and didn't/couldn't talk with me about it. Or maybe he was really busy or whatever. Thats the other "prob." here him and I have not talked about it yet and I'm wondering if he even knows why I am mad at him.... I'm sure that he would care if he knew but I'm not sure he does...

*sighs* having friends is hard... even harder still when you want more then that... anyways thanks for the addvise (and sorry what I said about the guys.... its just that... well you know how it is sometimes).

Yep, I know exactly how it is, that's why I'm not trying to date anyone, too much drama. I wish you luck though, and hope it works out for the best.

Lol well... that other guy wasn't meant to have happened (I was act. trying to show that one guy what it was like to feel left alone and was hoping he would figure it out on his own). But your right your just a guy. :-P Nah you seem like a nice one so....

Anyways about him and me I mean I don't want a year to go by and be like "would it have really worked out with him and me if I had tried one more time." ya know...

Well he's already told me he wasn't planning on getting married again (hes been married twice) and yada yada yada.... he also has talked about what an *** he can be and I mean all this stuff but like all these "other" people that I have talked to have yet to say "anything" bad about him. I mean me myself the only bad thing I could say is yeah he ignored me for about a week..... but even that is not the worst that has been done to me...

And about that trust issue I myself have that prob. I have been cheated on now like twice (one of them I couldn't/can't prove).... so that might have an affect on this as well... Thanks for the luck though.

hmmmm, so you were using guy #2 to make your point... ah, it's all about you... uhm, that's just wrong...

maybe you should think more about other people, instead of what you want all the time? so, no - I don't know "how that is"...

and all this is the guys fault somehow?!?!? I try to be nice, but some post's just pisss me off...

anyway, I hope it all works out for YOU at the end...

I hate being ignored, so when a guy ignores me, I know me and him definitely won't work out. I still say talk to him, at least you know he's not the "marrying kind" so you've gotten that out of the way. If you're looking to get married, he's not the one. As for what other people think of him, I'd take that with a grain of salt. Once I dated a guy from work and everyone had only nice things to say about him. Long story short, he was a real prick.

Sounds to me like you're both more interested in playing games than having any kind of relationship, which generally means neither one of you is ready. I mean, really, you "ignored" him because your friends told you to? Did it occur to you to simply ask him what was up?

Sounds to me like a match made in heavan..........

I was thinking of someplace hotter and about a thousand feet further down, but yeah...

That made my head hurt.

We have a winner!!!

I'm really starting to get to like this place. Every time I log on there is excellent drama and pathos. I haven't seen anything like this since high school! I might never have to watch tv again if there is also comedy in the forums of mingle2. I do need laughs to balance out the drama.