it's magically delicious

Dear diary......my birthday is coming up in a few weeks. I wonder what kind of walmart gift card I will get?

mmmmmmmmmmmm BURGER KING ... yum

My mom, dad and I have birthdays 2 days apart. Its just a gift card exchange.......

Here is yours

oh and here is mine

and there is yours

and omg if I eat another piece of cake Im gonna throw up!!

I hate birthdays.....

the $5.00 kind!!!!

nahhhhhhhhhh it will prolly be $50!!!!

dear diary.......why does my hand smell like feet???

my hand smell like azzzzz.....

mmmmmm original Chicken , lettuce , mayo, FRIES and ?.... a Moosehead ,,,, MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM life is good

dd, if i were a moose, I would like moosehead

the thought of ?............. Moose

but alas....I am a dikc......so I like dikchead

so that would make me Moronic-head ?? or Moroffic-head

Im just bed head..........

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penish was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.

[background singing begins: "detachable penish" over and over]

This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ***,
I like having a detachable penish.

mmmmm thats an interesting look at it