Previous 1
Topic: Well : a deep subject for shallow mind
lilmomma1976's photo
Fri 08/14/09 07:42 AM
This is my first time to post anything aside from asking for some advice. I'm not new to the site, been around a little while, just haven't been bold enough to get out here on the forums. So here I am!
Now, to add something for discussion... Why is it that a person has an easier time opening up to strangers online than to try to find someone to talk with IRL? Personally, I haven't met anyone while out and about that has really sparked my intrest. I live out in the middle of nowhere, and trying to pick up someone in a local bar isn't my way. While I work in a place that would seem to be conductive in helping to meet people, my uniform is so freaking shapeless that most folks can't even tell that I have curves. I mean, my best assest, aside from my eyes, has to be my chest. I see lots of good-looking, single men, but most don't give me a second glance. Talk about knocking someone down a few notches! lol So in my quest to find someone at least half-way intelligent that is physically appealing, I've not had any luck. That's why I'm here. Are men truely intimidated by nice-looking women? If so, they need to give themselves a swift kick in the a$$ and get over it. You never know what'll happen if you just try to talk. I know about fear of rejection, but you never know if you never try. I'm ready to have some fun in life, and would really like to find someone who's ready to help me out a little. Does this make me crazy or desperate? I'm honestly not sure. But I'd really like to know if anyone else feels this way.

MirrorMirror's photo
Fri 08/14/09 07:44 AM

This is my first time to post anything aside from asking for some advice. I'm not new to the site, been around a little while, just haven't been bold enough to get out here on the forums. So here I am!
Now, to add something for discussion... Why is it that a person has an easier time opening up to strangers online than to try to find someone to talk with IRL? Personally, I haven't met anyone while out and about that has really sparked my intrest. I live out in the middle of nowhere, and trying to pick up someone in a local bar isn't my way. While I work in a place that would seem to be conductive in helping to meet people, my uniform is so freaking shapeless that most folks can't even tell that I have curves. I mean, my best assest, aside from my eyes, has to be my chest. I see lots of good-looking, single men, but most don't give me a second glance. Talk about knocking someone down a few notches! lol So in my quest to find someone at least half-way intelligent that is physically appealing, I've not had any luck. That's why I'm here. Are men truely intimidated by nice-looking women? If so, they need to give themselves a swift kick in the a$$ and get over it. You never know what'll happen if you just try to talk. I know about fear of rejection, but you never know if you never try. I'm ready to have some fun in life, and would really like to find someone who's ready to help me out a little. Does this make me crazy or desperate? I'm honestly not sure. But I'd really like to know if anyone else feels this way.
flowerforyou Yes, I think most people feel that wayflowerforyou

PATSFAN's photo
Fri 08/14/09 07:45 AM
Good luck!drinker

earthytaurus76's photo
Fri 08/14/09 07:45 AM
Edited by earthytaurus76 on Fri 08/14/09 07:46 AM
Feels which way? about the looks? or the dating site? the intimidation? I dunno. Call me shallow. lol

JasmineInglewood's photo
Fri 08/14/09 07:45 AM
welcome flowerforyou

why do you need a man in order to have fun in life?

no photo
Fri 08/14/09 07:45 AM
I'm sowwwwy...but I didn't notice your chest either...:wink: laugh

PATSFAN's photo
Fri 08/14/09 07:46 AM

I'm sowwwwy...but I didn't notice your chest either...:wink: laugh





rofl

no photo
Fri 08/14/09 07:47 AM

This is my first time to post anything aside from asking for some advice. I'm not new to the site, been around a little while, just haven't been bold enough to get out here on the forums. So here I am!
Now, to add something for discussion... Why is it that a person has an easier time opening up to strangers online than to try to find someone to talk with IRL? Personally, I haven't met anyone while out and about that has really sparked my intrest. I live out in the middle of nowhere, and trying to pick up someone in a local bar isn't my way. While I work in a place that would seem to be conductive in helping to meet people, my uniform is so freaking shapeless that most folks can't even tell that I have curves. I mean, my best assest, aside from my eyes, has to be my chest. I see lots of good-looking, single men, but most don't give me a second glance. Talk about knocking someone down a few notches! lol So in my quest to find someone at least half-way intelligent that is physically appealing, I've not had any luck. That's why I'm here. Are men truely intimidated by nice-looking women? If so, they need to give themselves a swift kick in the a$$ and get over it. You never know what'll happen if you just try to talk. I know about fear of rejection, but you never know if you never try. I'm ready to have some fun in life, and would really like to find someone who's ready to help me out a little. Does this make me crazy or desperate? I'm honestly not sure. But I'd really like to know if anyone else feels this way.



I agree. It appears there has been a shift in who is doing the asking. I have gotten the impression that men, for whatever reason, are waiting for women to ask them out first. Maybe they are intimidated, but I think smiling at a man a certain way should always work. :smile:

Gossipmpm's photo
Fri 08/14/09 07:50 AM

I'm sowwwwy...but I didn't notice your chest either...:wink: laugh

laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh




laugh

WisdomsChild's photo
Fri 08/14/09 07:54 AM
Well that was a mouthfull, so I'll take bite size pieces.............it's easier for a lot of people to open up on here and in forums is because inhabitions can be curbed by the fact they can't reject you to their face. Also a lot of people are more reserved in real life and feel more comfortable here then on the streets, at the job, in a bar (minus the alcohol) or just in general.
whew.. as far as getting second looks I've already touched on the rejection factor which sends a lot of men into hermit status when it comes to social situations...some women you can't even say hi to if you see them walking by without getting a snobby look in return for your effort to be nice, and this can ruin some's desire to speak to complete stangers.

earthytaurus76's photo
Fri 08/14/09 07:57 AM
Id they are truly interested, and feel somewhat worthy, they will email.

no photo
Fri 08/14/09 08:06 AM
Next time you see a guy you'd be interested in going out with, ask him out, rather than waiting for him to ask you! :smile:

no photo
Fri 08/14/09 08:11 AM
Edited by PoisonSting on Fri 08/14/09 08:15 AM
Welcome to the forums. I kind of think you answered your own question...

"Are men truely intimidated by nice-looking women? If so, they need to give themselves a swift kick in the a$$ and get over it. You never know what'll happen if you just try to talk."
.
.
.
"I see lots of good-looking, single men, but most don't give me a second glance. Talk about knocking someone down a few notches!" You think they are not interested in you because they don't give you any signs. Do you give them signs that you are approachable??

I agree with Buttah, it takes more than a pretty face to get many men to talk to a woman. The lady has to show some sign of interest... a smile, a look... whatever.

(NOTE: Depending on your place of employment, flashing your TaTa's while at work probably wouldn't be a good ice breaker)

*EDIT*... just saw that you are a waitress. I always thought that waitresses were flirted with on a regular basis. But I can kind of understand your point a little better now because some guys might confuse your signs of interest as friendly service to get a tip.

EquusDancer's photo
Fri 08/14/09 10:48 AM
I get more chit-chat with Woddy Woodpile's photo (goat baby) ahh well. LOL!


metalwing's photo
Fri 08/14/09 11:25 AM
Spend time on the forums, you will meet nice people.

no photo
Fri 08/14/09 12:02 PM
This is a funny topic for discussion, because girls seem have the attitude that guys need to "suck it up and come talk to me." Well that's a pretty convenient stance to take when you don't have to do any of the approaching.

And you know what's really funny? I hear girls rip on guys (nice guys and ******** alike) for approaching them when they didn't want it. I hardly ever hear a guy complaining to his buddies about a girl who came up and tried talking to him =/

lilmomma1976's photo
Fri 08/14/09 01:21 PM
Ah, but herein lies the problem. I approach men, and they seem to only want one-nighters. I'm not really big on those, and I truely do want some companionship. Friend, boyfriend, whatever. I do flirt a bit on the job, but as was pointed out, they probably assume that I'm looking for a better tip. It's hard to meet interesting people.
And just for the record, I don't flash my ta-ta's at work. In fact, with my uniform, it's nearly impossible to even show cleavage, lol!

Rockmybobbysocks's photo
Fri 08/14/09 01:23 PM
when you can't rely on your looks you learn to rely on your wit and intelligence. use that mind. spark their interest to take a second glance and see the looks under everything else.

and honestly, people feel more comfortable online because it lacks the face to face nervousness that happens irl.


newarkjw's photo
Fri 08/14/09 01:25 PM
Shallow..........smokin

no photo
Fri 08/14/09 01:28 PM

Well that was a mouthfull, so I'll take bite size pieces.............it's easier for a lot of people to open up on here and in forums is because inhabitions can be curbed by the fact they can't reject you to their face. Also a lot of people are more reserved in real life and feel more comfortable here then on the streets, at the job, in a bar (minus the alcohol) or just in general.
whew.. as far as getting second looks I've already touched on the rejection factor which sends a lot of men into hermit status when it comes to social situations...some women you can't even say hi to if you see them walking by without getting a snobby look in return for your effort to be nice, and this can ruin some's desire to speak to complete stangers.


I agree, on most of your post. If someone says hi to me, I always smile and say Hi back. This has led ,numerous times, to the man immediately asking me out. Sometimes you just want to say Hi and smile and not get hit on. This may be why some women give that "snobby" look, they know whats coming if they say Hi.
jmo

Previous 1