I seriously want some good answers on this and possibly a discussion.
I have taken the advice of a few people and I am going into the Army soon, and with that I started to notice something weird that has NEVER been an issue for me until now. My age seems to be the biggest factor in terms of finding a relationship for me.

I'm almost 20, and well why should it matter to a person who is seeking a real relationship if I'm younger or possibly older than them? Especially within a 5-year limit.

What makes people so scared to have a relationship with a younger figure?

I have no problem dating or even being friends with anyone who is around my age by 5 years. I have had 3 serious relationships with all older women.

Me: Her:
16 19
18 23
19 22

In most cases people will tell me my age is not a very mature one, I have to rebuke that because of my experiences. Each young lady I have had in those relationships have been really immature in private and with their friends and family but they put on a "show" some would say in public. To me thats senseless, and I felt like the mature one at the end of the day.

"Don't judge a book by its cover"
It's a term that best fits my situation lately. I have tried dating again with older women and some younger, but the ones I have dated are really good friends of mine now, but none are ready for a serious relationship, so I stay friends with them.

Is it the "job" factor? Most consider since I'm young I don't get paid well?

With the Army and if it works I'll be a walking meal ticket really, the pay is not so great its the benefits they don't tell you about that work out for you. The meal allowance, off-base pay, home assistance, living assistance, over-seas pay, tax free items...etc...

If I'm a walking "meal ticket" then that is something most people will consider as a possible exploit and to me I hate the idea of even mentioning to a potential partner. I don't want to be "used" as some say, so in what ways could I guard against that in the future? Is there a guide? Or a place to find tips on the whole army system of pay and relationship status system (marriage stuff).

So what I'm asking is why is age such a "huge" factor in todays relationship possibilities?
I know a lot of people with 1~8 year differences in their partners.

Why is the Army seen as such an easy factor in finding a partner, but its abused so easily?

What is your opinion on todays economic situation and relationships, is that causing this "curve" in the factors that people focus on now?

I can understand the economy is not as nice as it was a few years though and that can influence people. I know a 19 year old who makes 13$ an hour in a low living expense town, and the main office of his current job pays the employees based on the towns. If he lives lets say in LA he would make over 30$ an hour. He is 19...same as me...earning a lot more than I can in my town. With no college degree. He has the same problem I do, age. He cant date older women lately.

Whoa! What a read. I will give you my opinion on some of the questions you asked.

1. Age difference in a relationship all depends on how the person feels. Are they bothered by dating a younger/older person? I had a set age limit before. Now, I'm messaging a great guy five years younger than me. It all depends on how mature they act and what they want in life. Times are changing. It's whether we accept it or not.

2. The Army, or any military, does attract people...but I thought because the person is in uniform. If they seek more than a man/woman in uniform, then there is something wrong with them. Find someone who already has a good head on their shoulder and can take care of themselves. That way, you know for sure the person is not after you for your "free meal" ticket.

3. The economy right now is a struggle for those seeking employment...especially if they have finished college. Does it affect relationship? It shouldn't. But if the man/woman is a gold digger, yeah it's a problem. *Shrugs* A good relationship are two people encouraging each other through the good and bad. The economy issue shouldn't break them.

Those are my opinions. Hope they help.

Well,
I read your topic with interest. I was married to a man a lot older than me who was in the Army, and personally it works only if the person in relationship understands, the time you will spend away, that they will not always know where you are depending on what goes on in the world and what regiment you are with. Where I come from, Army men were a way of escaping Ireland's troubles, so therefore i see your point on exploitation whether as a meal ticket, or other form of escapism.

As far as age is concerned in a relationship, girls mature faster than guys and sometimes are wary of a relationship with younger guy.

It's all understandable, but my friend and I have the same issue now.
Only in the last year...why?

It was never a problem for us last year, and I kind of wish some people I knew never moved, I lost a lot of good friends...but it happens.

I can't explain it. Some people are hung up on numbers, other people are hung up on other irrelevancies (in my opinion). I always felt it should be about the person and not the raw statistics but I'm probably not the best one to give advice on this.



I did the same thing when I was younger -- consistently dated women who were 1-5 years older than myself, sometimes more. Some good experiences, some bad. I learned a lot.



Maybe for some. I don't think you can generalize that into a universal.



I think some people use it as a sort of catch-all, a way of rejecting without having to think very much about the rationality of that decision --

I see profiles where someone writes "I won't date anyone under 22 or over 26" and I'm doing some math, calculating how many people this excludes....as if there couldn't be someone 21 or 27 or even 42 who might be a good match....??



Numbers are just numbers. Would you refuse to go out with someone because they had the wrong shoe size?



No idea. I don't know anything about the Army.



In my (recent) experience, it's not a factor. It never gets to the point where that sort of question ever has a chance to be raised.

You should really consider joining the Army. You may like it you may not but the fighting is so very hard on all of our men. A lot over there single, divorced and no one to come home to or there families could not handle it no more and divoreced why they were there fighting. It is a very hard and rough life.
There are so many that just wish to resign and come home today but they can not. They are told just to do there job. If they choose awall then it is jail when found.
They have made many new friends just to see them get blowed away.
There should not be a problem with the ages as long as you both feel alright with it. Should not be anyone elses business.
You are young and have so much to learn. You will be doing 16 hour shifts. Daily makes for long days to stay awake and function. It gets to the point you can only nap and you are up to check eveything out, try to nap again and it is time to go back to work. They own you and you are at there beck and call.
I have been told it is not worth it but they had to fight for all of us. Fight for our country. They are tired and want to stop but can not. They love serving but wish they had less hours. Some are so home sick and just want loved again.
It is more than just joining you live it, eat it, sleep it and jump when they say jump. You do not get much pay but enough to get through.

Age 5 years either way is not bad. Do not let others tell you different. with you being 19 I would say do not see anyone younger than 18 for your safety.
Being in the Army you never want to be in debt or be with someone underage they hate it and would eat you alive.
I say what I do because I took care of a Army veteran for 7 years until he died. I have another friend that was also retired from the Army. I am emailing 3 men fighting the war now. One is A Capt. in the Marines, one is Sergent in the Army. And the other Army construction. I also have another friend that is a Marine he went in young and what he delt with hurt him in so many ways.
I myself can not go fight for I have children . I have full custody with no visitations there father is no good so they are with me all the time. So I figure I can still serve my answering there emails when they write and need a good laugh from home. For them fighting to protect us that is the least I can do.
You will find the right women when it is time. Most young girls will not want to wait why you serve. They will get lonely.
I am old enough to be your mom but but I can always be your friend. But that is up to you. I wish you the best in all that you do.
Amy

Nope, shoes are...ugh...shoes? I am a lose for words really on whats been happening lately, it has really left me...stunned?

Last year was not a problem....now my age suddenly matters in my town?

The whole reason I wrote this up was because I recently asked a girl if she wanted to talk to me more and she pointed out clearly I was "too" young...it was only a 2 year difference, 19 and 21. Seemed kind of silly then some girls, regular friends, I know pointed out the jobs are becoming so hard to get they only date men with good pay. They don't abuse their "men" as far as I know.

Dude, wait til you get loose in the Army. Plenty of women away from home for the first time. A lot of hookin' up at AIT.
Plenty of heartbreak too.
You got other things to think about for a while.
When you get to a permanent post situation, then start looking for a real relationship.

It's always been socially acceptable for the man to be older and the woman to be younger. Many people still believe that to be "normal." Sounds like you're encountering women who feel that way.

Before anyone leaps onto this post and says "well it shouldn't matter" "age is just a number" that is YOUR opinion and not everyone feels that way. I'm not giving my opinion one way or the other, because I don't care who anyone dates, but I think that's why the OP is having the problem.

My advice? Either lie about your age, or try to find women who either think differently or are the exact same age as you. Whether we think something is irrelevant or not doesn't mean the rest of the world agrees with us, and for some people, age, race, size, education, etc. etc. can and DO matter when considering a relationship. Good luck in your search.

True, I'm waiting on that mainly right now.

''Maturity'' is for suckers and those conforming to horror. Where does this maturity idea come from anyway? ''When I became a man; I put away childish things''. Right; and you went to war to slaughter, to big business to exploit, to the streets to flex and snub.

Define ''childish''. Naive, you like anyone who talks to you, make friends easily, think the world is great, get excited about things, etc. Define adulthood; murder, theft, rape, hatred, prejudice, conformity to idiocy like fashion and cliques. So why be ''mature''? This is our accepted ideal of adulthood isn't it? And if you talk to strangers, climb statues/trees, get excited about what's accepted as ''mundane'' (which is everything to NORMAL earthlings), play video games, watch anime, et cetera; you aren't a jaded/angry/sadsack of an adult enough for a poser who wants to surround themselves in pain.

As long as you aren't hurting anyone; be yourself, do whatever you want. Skate, climb stuff, hug people, throw up a peace sign, whatever. Ignore the republicans like Rush Limbaugh who'll tell you Vietnam was a good thing, war makes men, and kitchen aid makes women.

As for the Army viper; everyone I've ever known who joined got screwed financially. The bonuses are all lies, the schooling; you'll never recieve it. And if you train for something and look for a civilian job later, they'll spit in your face and tell you that you need training in a college. My brother fixed air conditioners in war zones. The desert is frickin hot! He got all kinds of raises and medals. He gets home and can't get a job unless he ''trains'' in air conditioning. WTF!!?! And the armies medical system in our country is morbid and fifth world countryish (70th world even). I don't mean medics at war; they're great. I mean the base hospitals in the U.S. Break your thumb and they'll slap a full cast from thumb to shoulder on you and ship you out. You won't be able to hold your gun and you'll probably die. The army are like mindless five year olds. And you'll suffer for it. Oh, and when you get home your joints will be slop. My very healthy brother has horrible knees because they put a hundred pound pack on you and make you march for twelve hours. Yeah' great training. Now he's at the hospital monthly for treatment. He'll never recover fully.

If you are serious about being a warrior and a beacon of justice; become a bounty hunter and stop ''mature'' murderers. Be Batman, not a pawn for the furtherment of the Pharoes empire.

synopsis plz

Nothing else has worked for me in this town, sadly.

I want to have a decent life if not anything else.

Still...what makes this year so special?

I have never had the issue with age till now.
I'm stunned!

i barely remember being 20, so i have no idea.