Smart Lady.

Ya see, as you get older and not in the breeding age group you develop an eye for weirdo vs normal or acceptable. You get to where you have a visual sense for deciphering the character who lives in his Mom's basement and plays all day & night on the computer in his jockey underwear.
You're not shallow but in time you will be more comfortable in your skin and be more accepting of those who don't fit your rigid criteria.
I didn't mean to be so sarcastic earlier. Well, I guess I did but I apologize.

In my opinion, if you are really struggling with this, it's best not to reply to them at all. If you ARE able to reply kindly without insulting the person, do that. But if you do, don't be so blatant in your rejection. There is no need to say "I'm not interested". I think the nicer thing to do is wait a day or two to respond, and then send a friendly, detatched email: "Thanks for your email. Hope you're having as much fun on Mingle as I am. Have a great day!" or something like that. Dont' ask any questions or say anything that requires a response. Most people will take the hint. If they don't, and they email you back, don't respond. If the person continues to send you unrequited emails, then tell her you are not interested.

And to answer your question, it's not shallow to not be attracted to certain people, based on thier looks. It's human. However, if, when you look at someone, all you see them as is "the fat girl", or "the ugly girl", then yes, you are shallow. You don't have to be attracted to someone, but you can still realize that they have value as a person.

it makes it WORSE.

If your not attracted to someone your not attracted to someone. Its elemetary that people have prefrences.

THATS WHY WERE ALL HERE.

How bout everyone post a question askingggggg..

Am I shallow for liking dark chocolate and not liking white chocolate?

THAT would be an IMPROVEMENT.

Know how many choices it took, just to get here on the computer requiring prefrence?

How boutttt blondes are jerks, and brunettes are pigs?

Is this a decent, normal statement?


Am I shallowwww for generalising about people, and caling them jerks and pigs?

Maybe I should post that.. That would be brilliant.

Im not going to congradulate anyone on THIS rude broad statement.

He didnt need our advice on which shirt to wear, or how to brush his hair, or how he should verse his post.

Our opinion on 'fat, and "ugly" people are supposed to save the day?

uhh.. yeah. okaayyyyy.

Uhh, could ya specify WHICH fat or ugly person is question so then we could look at them, and judge weather they are too ugly, and toooo fat for you? *rolls eyes*

We sposed to actually VOTE for fat or ugly? What is warranted here?


This post begs of: "I am superior to "fat" and "ugly", should I feel bad because I look better than "fat" and "ugly"?

A real step above.

well why not be friends? or do they have to fit in your taste catergory also for looks?

no reply is usually a good indication of your lack of interest.

if you don't know the person, nor want to get to know them, who cares if you appear shallow to them anyway?

i've found that, regardless of the response you send, a 'rejection letter' is almost guaranteed to receive further mail in the form of some insult. no reply prevents that.

Hadda look. Yeah well, HALLOOOOOO!!!!! You are all of 18! Shallow is who you are at that age. Looks, selfishness and ego is what kids of your age are. So go ahead...be all those things. When you grow up....and you will...you will find these things to be worthless.

People are beautiful...all sizes, all shapes, all colors..ages. When given the chance even the most obnoxious and overweight...not so good looking people will show to you beauty. When your eyes have opened...you will see.

If you do not see on the other side of that email someone you want to "talk" to, then politely decline "thanks for the mail, hope you find what you are looking for".

In some ways I am a little shallow, I guess. When I get im's or emails I immediately check out their profiles....looking for ages and to see if they do devil worshipping or something. Hellooo...I am 56....must look at those that are alive still, and NOT 18! I do get those, believe it or not). Aaauuunnnd not skinny to the bone...or carrying a shotgun around....or too short (not that short is bad, but isn't for me)and no 600lbs...because I mean really...I cant ride a Clydesdale bareback either.

Good luck son.....

Kat

Yeah, what was i thinking? Age is an excuse for this.


Ego of a 4 year old.


My son at THAT age knew better.

Just tell her "It's not you it's me".

Tell her to try back when she meets your requirements

I don't see anything wrong with stating something like "we're not a match" or "I'm not interested". It's not rude. It is certainly better than saying something like "you are too ugly or fat" or "I'm too good for you". I would rather be upfront ( with tact ) instead of giving the other person hints until they get the message.

No, its fine to have your preferences ,but you may not want to mention the fat/ugly stuff to people. It just dont go over well.

I guess I must be "shallow;" every guy they present to me in mutual match is fat and/or ugly, so I just deny them.

I agree!.....indeed.......

LMAO..... it won't do you any justice?

What won't do me any justice? Admitting that I'm not into fat/ugly men? At least I'm honest.

What he said...

Yes. A tad bit.........

Thanks for making an honest post. You're right, they do judge on photos, they don't read the profile. I have pics up that are not me at all, but I'm honest about my ethnicity on here. However, I still get dumba$$ emails from people who simply don't read my details, or what I'm looking for, and then they're disappointed in the end. As for telling them you're not interested, I think that just opens up dialogue because then they want to know why, or prove to you why you should be interested, or they insult you. I just ignore them. If they look in their sent folder and see it was read but unanswered, unless they're seriously retarded, they should get the message. Thanks again for your honesty, there's not enough of that on this site!

My personal belief is that sheer preference does not make you shallow. Sheer preference merely means you're human.

What I always tried to do was to make it very clear, in my profile, what I was looking for and what I was NOT looking for. If they read my profile, they would already know whether they would qualify or not. If they didn't read my profile and wrote anyway, and it was clearly a mismatch, I would then refer them to my profile.