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| Topic: How I Became Single (first draft...very rough) | |
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Edited by
kc0003
on
Tue 08/04/09 06:25 PM
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this has a long way to go i know...just thought i might see what comes back
I remember us that Saturday We walked by the riverside Holding hands Falling, falling So deep You turned into my everything that day Everything I could ever wish for When the thunderstorm made its way up the river, we ran under that huge walnut tree and you clung to me so tight…It wasn’t much for shelter but, it did make for an unforgettable place for us to share our love that first time. Married eight months later. Your love changed everything for me. Why then do the winds blow so harshly on me now? Today of all days… This was to be our day If I live for a thousand more years, I will never forget the way they pushed me out of the delivery room. Their faces turning from routine to panic in the blink of an eye, I was so scared for you. I can only pray you know I didn’t want to leave you there. Oh god! How I love you This waiting is killing me. Walking… Walking… Your family is trying to help but, I can’t take this much longer. Why can’t they let me/us know something? Wait hon, I think the doctor is coming “How is she?” “How are they?” “I want to see them, now!” Oh no! (I see them over his shoulder) The two nurses at the door are standing arm in arm. Blood covering their scrubs, somber stares to their eyes. What? “What do you mean; you know this is hard on me? What the **** do you know?” “I want to see my wife, NOW!!!” “I want to see my daughter”… “No! I will not calm down.” The weight of his hand on my back almost knocked me to the floor. The heaviness of his words finished the job. NO! GOD, please NO! Goddammit babe, I hope you can’t see me on this floor, head in hands that shake from pain, a river of tears that flow from the eyes of a frightened broken man, my heart bleeding for all to see. I miss you already…both of you I can not breathe I can’t get up |
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i love it and hate it...if that makes sense...it gives me this ugh feeling in the pit of my stomache..breathless, sick, tears flowing....i cant imagine
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so heart felt and pure...very special.
 
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Sorry for your loss.
I am not sure that there is any worse pain in the world than what you have been through. 
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this has a long way to go i know...just thought i might see what comes back I remember us that Saturday We walked by the riverside Holding hands Falling, falling So deep You turned into my everything that day Everything I could ever wish for When the thunderstorm made its way up the river, we ran under that huge walnut tree and you clung to me so tight…It wasn’t much for shelter but, it did make for an unforgettable place for us to share our love that first time. Married eight months later. Your love changed everything for me. Why then do the winds blow so harshly on me now? Today of all days… This was to be our day If live for a thousand more years, I will never forget the way they pushed me out of the delivery room. Their faces turning from routine to panic in the blink of an eye, I was so scared for you. I can only pray you know I didn’t want to leave you there. Oh god! How I love you This waiting is killing me. Walking… Walking… Your family is trying to help but, I can’t take this much longer. Why can’t they let me/us know something? Wait hon, I think the doctor is coming “How is she?” “How are they?” “I want to see them, now!” Oh no! (I see them over his shoulder) The two nurses at the door are standing arm in arm. Blood covering their scrubs, somber stares to their eyes. What? “What do you mean; you know this is hard on me? What the **** do you know?” “I want to see my wife, NOW!!!” “I want to see my daughter”… “No! I will not calm down.” The weight of his hand on my back almost knocked me to the floor. The heaviness of his words finished the job. NO! GOD, please NO! Goddammit babe, I hope you can’t see me on this floor, head in hands that shake from pain, a river of tears that flow from the eyes of a frightened broken man, my heart bleeding for all to see. I miss you already…both of you I can not breathe I can’t get up |
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i love it and hate it...if that makes sense...it gives me this ugh feeling in the pit of my stomache..breathless, sick, tears flowing....i cant imagine i get it thank you
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so heart felt and pure...very special. thank you 2k
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dc
fusion i appreciate the kindness this however, is just a write for me, something i have been tossing around. i can only imagine this kind of pain thank you both |
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dc fusion i appreciate the kindness this however, is just a write for me, something i have been tossing around. i can only imagine this kind of pain thank you both
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dc fusion i appreciate the kindness this however, is just a write for me, something i have been tossing around. i can only imagine this kind of pain thank you both thank you that is the best kind of compliment
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I sucked in my breath in that 'ohhhh noooooo' way that held suspended until you said it was imagined ... and now I exhale in that way that says 'I am relieved this didn't happen to you' ...
Vivid and emotionally charged bringing the reader in ... right there beside you ... |
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Edited by
ArtGurl
on
Tue 08/04/09 06:58 PM
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ARGH double post ... sorry
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thank you (S)
you know how i appreciate it when you comment and yeah you can double post me any time...  
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ya know?
sometimes i find it too much to read things on this site this is one of those times  you sure can pull on the strings of emotion |
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Excuse me, pardon me, step aside, please U *&*&_&*)^%%&$^*)(*)&^&%$^$&&^(Y*&^*&^&*%&^%*()*(^&*^%&*^((*^*&%*&&(*Y^*&%KACE^*&^()(*_)^^%*&*(*(_)*(Y&*^%&*Y&()()_*(^*&^%&*()U&*%&%$&^^()&_*(^&^%(
Write a book dammit! |
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^^^ ahem ... what she said ^^^
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This gave me a dry throat. I felt short of breathe with anticipation wanting to know what happened and i still feel like i have no idea.
What i do know is this was one intense write! Awesome job on this one kc
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Excuse me, pardon me, step aside, please U *&*&_&*)^%%&$^*)(*)&^&%$^$&&^(Y*&^*&^&*%&^%*()*(^&*^%&*^((*^*&%*&&(*Y^*&%KACE^*&^()(*_)^^%*&*(*(_)*(Y&*^%&*Y&()()_*(^*&^%&*()U&*%&%$&^^()&_*(^&^%( Write a book dammit!  i wouldn't know where to begin.... |
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This gave me a dry throat. I felt short of breathe with anticipation wanting to know what happened and i still feel like i have no idea. What i do know is this was one intense write! Awesome job on this one kc yeah? im not sure either but, i do appreciate the kind words
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The tears from deep in my heart welled up into my eyes and rolled down my face falling where they would and my skin rippled with the chills of pain and terror so deep it made my lungs ache and my chest heave.
(((Kevin))) I could actually hear the voice speaking these words and feel the cold floor he lay upon. I agree with DKOW... WRITE A BOOK!!! |
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