you've gotten farther than me.i've gotten a few numbers but they've led to nothing pretty much



oh and i've been here 2 years

I might have something to do with the way you are asking these young women who don't know you all that well for that first date.

If all you have done is talk or text it is not likely that a vague invitation to go eat a meal feels really safe. Most women do not want to include alcohol in a first date with a stranger even if food is involved.

I don't know how other younger women feel but setting across the table in a yet un-named eating establish that I might or might not like is not my first choice for a date. How are you going to talk with food in your mouth? FOr women it always puts them in a difficult position to know what to order without overwhelming the gentleman's budget. Getting stuck with the bill; sadley is not rare nowdays.

The solution I would suggest is at least being a little more specific when inviteing a lady for a date. Place, time, and date are at least a minimum. It might be less than spontaneous but it shows genuine interest to ask for a date at least three days in advance and then call the day before to confirm.

If she is a single parent at least five days to find a sitter is definitely going to help your odds at an acceptance.

If you get a "stall" when you offer a specific invitation you have two choices; say "Sorry that is not going to work out" or "Sorry if you would like another day I can call you in a week or you can call me when you have a day free and we can see if we can do it later." This way you are not grilling her about her calendar but you have at shot at finding a compatiable date.

Once you gonna realize, numbers are no more than someone giving you her email address or IM name nowadays. I had phone numbers given to me back when i was 20 something..some I called back I either got an answering machine and no reply back ever, or I got some BS excuse why not. So I don't take them seriously.

All good points.

Oh and also if you do reach them, be calm and just talk. You called to hear her voice and you remembered that she gave you her number (how could you forget her, right?) .

So you called and want to know how is she doing and remind her of the night she gave you the phone number..how "crazy" it was or whatever recollection you got from that night. Keep it a not too long conversation and tell her "you'd love to see her again" , because you feel so comfortable talking to her and she really grabbed your attention.

Wow, you give up entirely too easily. Would probably do that differently.

So what I am suppose to do? Bugg them until they want to get a new number? I won't do that, I respect people. Plus like I have said, I am not going to lock my self to one girl who I don't even know.

Did you meet them online (I may have missed that part)? If so, one thing you should know is that women are pretty leery of men they meet online. If you are asking them out for dinner too soon (after, say, a couple of texts), that can be a little scary. You might consider investing more time over a few weeks with phone calls, e-mails, etc. then maybe a first date of coffee or something.

I had one guy, after talking to him via IM once and by phone once insist on getting together that night. And I mean, he was persistent. That says a couple of things (a) booty call wannabe; (b) he's desperate; or (c) he's a serial killer. Were any of those true? I have no way of knowing as I cut off all contact immediately because it was WAAAAAAAAAAY too much too soon.

It's a safety thing

I agree with Suzin. It is a scary world out there for single women. If only the stalkers would wear a t-shirt identifying themselves as such, we might be less leery. I hate to say "be patient" because it looks like you have been doing that for 2 years...but keep reaching out and hopefully you will find a wonderful woman! Best of luck!

There could many different possible reasons why this happens.

1. Not serious about meeting people / Looking for an ego boost
2. Get cold feet about meeting someone
3. Lost interest in you / meet someone they liked better and weren't upfront about it.
4. They are married or have a significant other

Omg, that happened to me too!!! Turned out the guy was desperate and a nutbag, LOL

Good point about whether he met them online, I jut assumed he met them in real life like at a club or at school or something. But yeah, it's best to be cautious when you meet online.

Yes I did. But we texted for a week +, I suggested we meet somewhere public.

Sounds like she wasn't really interested in meeting then. Or maybe she needed more than a week to get to know you before meeting. Sometimes you'll never know why people do the stuff they do. Just go on to the next one.

hhhhmmm sounds like you are putting to much pressure on them...why don't you try being a little more casual about it....you know show intrest in them and ask them if they want to do something fun this seems to work real well with me. Then, after you two have had some fun together you could settle down and grab a quick bite and talk. Best of Luck

"The convo led to no where. I pretty much gave up cause she wouldn't make actual plans."

You gave up.

"I pretty much have given up and am moving on."

You gave up again.

The first one is really the only one I would have given up on, I don't play games either...but the other two you just let go way too easily, you could have kept pursuing but instead chose not to for whatever reason. You could have very well had a date out of at least one of those two, especially probably the second one. But you quit and gave up on the idea, this will always fail you in pursuing a relationship.

Or you can just keep doing what you do which doesn't seem to be working all that well...

Maybe it's a generational thing but texting for a week is not the same as actually talking and holding real conversations, with real sentences, etc. You get a feel for a person that way in a way that texting simply cannot replicate. And a week is nothing, really.

I agree with F&L, you gave up way too easily. These girls didn't say no, they were hesitant, there's a difference. If you persist, after they say no, that's stalkerish but before? No. You don't know them well at all, there could have been very good reasons they couldn't commit to anything right at that moment.

And, one more piece of advice, which I think you got already. When asking someone out, please have something definite in mind. It can always be changed, of course, but it's best to say ya wanna grab a coffee on Wednesday after work than it is to say ya wanna do something sometime. Whenever I asked someone out (and yes, done it plenty), I always had a plan. I was flexible, but had a plan

In my experience, being hesistant can be a sign of disinterest or lukewarm interest at best. If I was interested, but unavailable at the current moment. I would tell a man that I'm busy right now and I would also tell him when I would be available.

Yeah...and in my experience people usually don't say what they mean. Wish I knew people that were honest with their intentions, but half the time I have no clue. Hesitation is not disinterest or lukewarm interest, you don't know what they've been through in past relationships and they could be taking it slow...most of the time that has been my experience.

I guess we will agree to disagree. If a person is hesistant, I might give them the benefit of the doubt the first time. But if I ask them out a second time and they are still hesistant, then I will move on. I don't want to spend several weeks talking to someone just to find out that there is no connection when we met. Or in other cases not even meet. That is counterproductive.