Topic: when he wants to keep dating others
littleike's photo
Fri 07/17/09 02:43 PM
you say hes 54. i think maybe mid life crisis that all men go thru

motowndowntown's photo
Fri 07/17/09 02:44 PM
He's a player. Dump him.

MelodyGirl's photo
Fri 07/17/09 02:46 PM
Edited by MelodyGirl on Fri 07/17/09 02:47 PM

He's a player. Dump him.


I disagree on that point.

A player will not tell you he/she wants to date other people. They do it behind your back and try to sweet talk you into a comfort zone.

He just doesn't want to settle down and there is nothing wrong with that!

It sounds as though he has strong feelings for you but he is not ready.

MirrorMirror's photo
Fri 07/17/09 02:46 PM

MelodyGirl that is what I need to hear. Thank you.. its been so long since I felt this way about someone - especially so damn fast that I'm scared to death. He is really a special person and I don't want to screw it up with jealousy and other crap!
flowerforyou Don't overthink itflowerforyou

littleike's photo
Fri 07/17/09 02:49 PM


He's a player. Dump him.


I disagree on that point.

A player will not tell you he/she wants to date other people. They do it behind your back and try to sweet talk you into a comfort zone.

He just doesn't want to settle down and there is nothing wrong with that!

It sounds as though he has strong feelings for you but he is not ready.
this is why i say mid life crisis. hes not trying to cheat behind your back. hes telling you he wants his options open so he can make his deci8ssion when he wants to with no pressure

MirrorMirror's photo
Fri 07/17/09 02:51 PM


He's a player. Dump him.


I disagree on that point.

A player will not tell you he/she wants to date other people. They do it behind your back and try to sweet talk you into a comfort zone.

He just doesn't want to settle down and there is nothing wrong with that!

It sounds as though he has strong feelings for you but he is not ready.



bigsmile I agreebigsmile

plain_jane1's photo
Fri 07/17/09 02:52 PM
Yes he is a big player. You're better than that. Find a new man that love you and only you. Throw him away

Jill298's photo
Fri 07/17/09 03:01 PM
I don't know for sure... My bf just confessed he's still in love with his ex and thats why we broke it off.
Sooo... I'm here to tell you, if he's not ready to commit, then he's just not ready.
Go about your life and don't always be available to him. It's more attractive when he's chasing you down. I know, I know. Sounds stupid and yes it's a game. But, that's how it's played.
Good luck. If you find out any good answers, I'd sure like to know too. grumble grumble

one4me2's photo
Fri 07/17/09 03:02 PM
He has told me about pretty much every one he has talked to online so I have to agree with Melody again. He told me he was scared to death to get involved again so quick and I get that. Just don't know how much time he needs before it becomes more that what he told me! I need to slow down too, but damn, we have so much in common its weird almost!!!

Jill298's photo
Fri 07/17/09 03:03 PM
Also, I can totally see why he doesn't want to commit and settle down with you. It's only been a few weeks.
Dating USED to be just that, dating. You go out, you have dinner and hang out, go do stuff together and get to know one another. And yes, you could do this with multiple people at one time as long as you're A)not sleeping with them and B) not leading anyone on.
He's not leading you on. Props to him for being honest.
54 years, he's from a whole different generation.

southern_bee's photo
Fri 07/17/09 03:04 PM
sounds like hes playing the filed and really doesn't want to be in a committed relationship and his reserve status!

Jill298's photo
Fri 07/17/09 03:05 PM

He has told me about pretty much every one he has talked to online so I have to agree with Melody again. He told me he was scared to death to get involved again so quick and I get that. Just don't know how much time he needs before it becomes more that what he told me! I need to slow down too, but damn, we have so much in common its weird almost!!!
If you don't slow down, you will lose him. He's telling you this.
Go about your life. Do stuff without him and keep busy but keep in contact. But don't sit by the phone waiting for him to call.

Jill298's photo
Fri 07/17/09 03:05 PM

sounds like hes playing the filed and really doesn't want to be in a committed relationship and his reserve status!
I think it sounds like he's only known her for a few weeks and doesn't want to rush into anything. Sounds reasonable to me.

motowndowntown's photo
Fri 07/17/09 03:06 PM


He's a player. Dump him.


I disagree on that point.

A player will not tell you he/she wants to date other people. They do it behind your back and try to sweet talk you into a comfort zone.

He just doesn't want to settle down and there is nothing wrong with that!

It sounds as though he has strong feelings for you but he is not ready.


A good player will do just that, tell you he wants to date other people but still keep you dangling on a string. And if he's real good you'll keep a tighter hold on that string than he will.

Jill298's photo
Fri 07/17/09 03:07 PM
Edited by Jill298 on Fri 07/17/09 03:07 PM
See, this is a perfect example of how people jump to "dump him!" immediatly. Can't he just be honest and proceed with caution without being a player?

littleike's photo
Fri 07/17/09 03:08 PM

I don't know for sure... My bf just confessed he's still in love with his ex and thats why we broke it off.
Sooo... I'm here to tell you, if he's not ready to commit, then he's just not ready.
Go about your life and don't always be available to him. It's more attractive when he's chasing you down. I know, I know. Sounds stupid and yes it's a game. But, that's how it's played.
Good luck. If you find out any good answers, I'd sure like to know too. grumble grumble
the stupid childish games people play to find love. those games show me its not love

Atlantis75's photo
Fri 07/17/09 03:11 PM

I told him I would give him some time - he just broke up with someone a few days before we met so i understand that. But I also told him I wouldn't wait very long. If he can't see what I see between us, then he's got his head up his a$$!


"He just broke up a few days before"

You know he isn't looking for a date, he is trying to fill in an empty chair (or bed) with you while continues the search for others. Don't let yourself to be used like that.

Winx's photo
Fri 07/17/09 03:11 PM

He has told me about pretty much every one he has talked to online so I have to agree with Melody again. He told me he was scared to death to get involved again so quick and I get that. Just don't know how much time he needs before it becomes more that what he told me! I need to slow down too, but damn, we have so much in common its weird almost!!!


He's being smart to not settle down if he has only been out of a relationship for a couple of days, IMO. He needs time to get to know himself again and to heal. I wouldn't even be dating that fast after a relationship.

littleike's photo
Fri 07/17/09 03:11 PM

He has told me about pretty much every one he has talked to online so I have to agree with Melody again. He told me he was scared to death to get involved again so quick and I get that. Just don't know how much time he needs before it becomes more that what he told me! I need to slow down too, but damn, we have so much in common its weird almost!!!
thats useualy always my problem to. i want something real and true ive had not much of in my life and i want bad so i also rush way to fast. like a couple days i say i love you and i want you forever. i dont mean to but i wind up pushing them away

newarkjw's photo
Fri 07/17/09 03:13 PM

See, this is a perfect example of how people jump to "dump him!" immediatly. Can't he just be honest and proceed with caution without being a player?


I agree. flowerforyou