What do you you guys think about being with a chick that is a few years older than you? Seems I get a fair amount of interest from guys 45+ and I am not sure if it should even be an issue. Maybe I should just go for it! I guess because I work with so many guys that are younger than me, I have trouble considering someone that is much older. Just wanting your perspectives...

I really want to say it depends on the nature of the relationship and what you are expecting.

The woman that I dated that were older found me attractive and interesting and sex was good, but when it came to position in life I fell short.

I think one problem that I have recently experienced is expectation. The woman I dated never was married and had a very black and white view of relationships. She felt or thought in a certain way then she believed the other might also. She had an idealistic view of relationships and believed in total and complete honesty early in the relationship, but I argued if we gave people we were interested in complete honesty than nobody would be dating anybody and we would be busy telling each other that we weren't interested (I never pointed out that she weighed 50 extra pounds in person than her picture she sent me - I really think I would have
F%@#ed myself for being completely honest with her about that - but that might have been viewed by her as a double standard for me to call that out about her. I held back and didn't say anything because I would have been viewed as superficial or shallow).

I think the age difference made it difficult to explain things to her or for her to listen to me. I am so glad I am done with that.

I think deep down inside young or old we are all messed up. If you guys like each other, can have stimulating conversation, keep your assets separate (no money lending) and have wild monkey sex that curls your feet than go for it!

Go get him cougar!

Young old what does it matter if he makes your skin wake up, your heart beat and you smile just at the thought of him then go for it and be happy, that is all that matters.

i would be fine dating over 30 =P

To onionkidpoe:
Good grief!!! Over 30 years old? I wouldn't even consider it! My daughter is older than that! I respect your input and thank you for your opinion though!

To Eddiea:

Good on you for taking the high road. Nice to hear of a guy doing that. I really admire and respect you and hope that she appreciated your consideration. I have to agree - by the time we are a little older, we all have baggage and are messed up to some degree. I know I am although I am trying hard to move forward.

Interesting observation about complete honesty. I do agree that you have to be upfront about the "essentials. As per my other forum, that is why I would I am quite content with the 10% of men that Billy quoted would only be interested in me after they read the last line of my profile. What is the point of being together with someone that doesn't share my values? I know that I firstly need to be honest with myself and not try to be someone else. Shows a lack of integrity, is too much work, doesn't feel good and ends up wasting everyone's time.

Also, I think that sometimes too much, too soon can be a turn off. Maybe get to know someone a little before everything comes out.



To Alzheimer: Thanks so much. Good advice. I guess I will have to evaluate each situation as it presents itself.

Thanks again for the input guys. 'ppreciate it! :}

HELP!!

And about the much older guys that are interested...
I feel badly and don't want to be rude. I try and turn them down politely and treat them as I would like to be treated. I am not sure there is any easy way to say no thanks. Any advice on this, guys?

i might date 5 years older then me but im weird about dating guys my age or younger it makes me feel like im baby sitting!i dont need a sugar daddy but i do need to date someone where we have lots of things in common!

45.... surely you`re not a day over 40

how would they be younger

not my style

iloveyoungermen *zoooom*------------------------------------

profile looks great to me.

but to the subject at hand, i bein younger have not acomplished every thing on my to do list (prob never will, way too much fun stuff). so i would want some one thats in or close to the same stage of life, like an eirler post sead, i wouldnt want to feel babied, or under acomplished. besides that i wouldnt date some one that was much yonger (only cuz my age) and def not datin my grandmothers freinds. other then that age is nothin but a number. we all grow at r own levels and speeds.

as far as puttin no nicely, well thats a great question. u should actualy make a thread on that.

just out of my own curiosity, why do u wer a bullet proof jacket.

I've learned that age DOES matter. I hate to turn down anyone, because I hate to hurt feelings, but here's how I see it (for myself -- I would never expect anyone to be exactly like me And these are GENERALIZATIONS, guys... I know not everyone fits them, mmkay?):

18 - 29: Too young. And I say this in the NICEST way possible, guys. I have kids, am working on a career... I can party with the best of them, but that's not how I can live. And at that age? I wouldn't ever ask a young man to tie himself down to a family and responsibilities like that. Plus, and this is from personal experience here, you don't KNOW yourself yet. It's better at that age to either party and go to school and have fun and find yourself or meet a nice YOUNG girl and start a family of your OWN. I can't give you either. And you can't give me what I need -- just a fact.

30 - 40: Perfect. Chances are, we're in the same place in life. They either have kids already or want them but for some reason haven't been able to have their own. Either way, they're MUCH more prone to accept and love me AND my kids. (OR, they don't want kids and know this, and we can just say bye bye and move on without any weirdness.) They have a job/career they have worked on and/or are working on. They care about paying bills but still wanna go out and have a good time sometimes. They can talk about things I know about, and we can connect on many cultural memories, being of the same generation. More than that, but you get the gist.

Plus, I don't feel like a pedophile with them. (NOT saying cougars are... just not MY thing. )

41 - up: Too... mature. I don't want to say too old, because that's not nice. But see, my mother married a man 21 years her senior, and while I KNOW other men aren't like him, I simply have an aversion to dating older men for that reason. They remind me of that stepfather, which is NOT a positive thing in any way. Plus, I really do have to wonder why an older man would want a woman 20 years his junior, except for the obvious, and I want a man I can RELATE to, not call Daddy... in bed especially. *Shiver*

Just my... er... 20 cents!

The ex-wife was 5 yrs older than me and it was fine.
Just decided not to date older this time around.
But no younger than 10 yrs.
It really depends on the individuals involved.

The youngsters seem to always hit on new older women.
Maybe they are looking for a quick score, think the ladies are desperate/horny. They don't understand, most women have more class then that. Ladies like to be woo'd, let known they are more than just a sex object. Put up with it, it will slow down.

Read your profile, quite the lady. Admire your occupation.
Welcome to the family & hope you enjoy it here, as much as I do.
Need help or questions, drop me a line.

They are sure numbers (age) that i do not look at but in general I do not ask the age but I judge on their personality, I've seen 10 years younger that were more mature that some 10 years older so it all depends on the individuals for me.

You know its strange for me also to date older men, everyone tells me that I look younger then what my age really is. Don't get me wrong, I am proud to be 45 but when I see some of the guys around my age...they look so much older. Plus, I have dated someone that was 8 years older, he was such a bore!! I seem to get along better with the younger men but now that I have a son that is 21, I have to stop and think if I would want him to date someone that is much older then him. My answer would be NO!! So I am very careful on picking the age thing.
Mostly I am just looking for friends on here anyway, and when I say friends...I don't mean an activity partner. Why do men naturally assume that? In my profile I don't see anything that suggest that I am looking for just a good time! So get your mind out of the gutter and read it slower!!
Good luck

It depends on what your looking for ..
As long as a guy is older than my oldest son and younger than my father I stay open. Age is just a number

I use to believe that UNTIL I seen what my Dad went through. He married a woman 19 years younger and he said it was like having another daughter. So I really think age is just a number IF you are not looking for a serious relationship. If you just want to have fun and hang out, I agree...age is just a number!

my age range is about 33 to 74....

yeah with my criteria my range is about the same...
27 to 69, I may want to rethink this