100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
Previous
| Topic: Am I asking for too much? | |
|---|---|
|
|
|
lol you are right. we set too high expectations and let ourselves down,.,....
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
lol you are right. we set too high expectations and let ourselves down,.,.... See, though... I never set any before, and I let myself down on purpose. I'm thinking it's time to let myself down for a REASON, ya know? And Billy? Where ya at? I can't do any of the things you said until I see it, so...? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lower your expectations, and youll be happy. Expect nothing and you wont be disapointed. I don't see why she should lower her expectations. Her list isn't way out there. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
if you know what you want....stick to your guns. TRUE that the more expectations we have in a mate would probably lower the number of potentials....but IMO, I would rather hold out for the one that I am looking for and I'll be happy being single in the meantime
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
To me that is not to much to ask at all! I think that most of us on here are looking for those things in our special someone. I know I am and I will never give up and you should not ether! Take care and good luck.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Well...here's my take on it.
It's not a bad thing to have ideas of what you want in mind. However, the chances of finding HIM ( as you put it ) are going to be pretty slim. In the meantime, you will bypass many, MANY guys who very well could make you ' grin like a loon ' or have you to where you can't stop thinking about them, simply because they don't have enough of the ' drool factor '. Bypassing a man who has all the qualities you look for, except for the fact that he isn't quite " hawt " enough is not only unfair to that kind of guy, but it's also unfair to yourself. I am not saying that you should disregard looks completely. That simply isn't possible. Quasimodo simply isn't an attractive dude. But even a regular looking dude can manage to stimulate a woman if he can get into her head. You are being unfair to the guys because of their appearance, which doesn't make the MAN.... And you are being unfair to yourself for passing up on the potential to be blissfully happy because you looked past someone great toward someone better looking. THIS is the problem that SOOOOO many around here have. They want that ' perfect ' person, and consider anything less than ' perfect ' to be " settling ". To me, " settling " is allowing yourself to accept a LOT less than you are looking for. Giving a little on one thing, when everything else is good is not settling. That's just being realistic. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I'm not going to even bother breaking into the math of it, as I'm sure you are already pretty well aware that it is nil. You know what you want, but you are placing these in a world that is ever-changing, what a person is today will not always necessarily be the same person tomorrow. For any of us the chances of finding "the one" is damn near nil, some of us get lucky and find them quickly and pretty much within the first few people we date (not me, do not confuse that statement, I'm pretty much well alone and figure that is how it will be for quite awhile).
I've always compared love to a void or black hole, it really only exists in dreams...reason is quite simple really, love is about compromise and so few people are actually willing to compromise with one situation or another. Even less people are willing to work on issues by talking them out or coming up with a viable alternative. I can only speak for the states, but as far as I can tell...love does not really exist here anymore. We've been overtaken by greed and the necessity of survival rather than the desire for another, this really is probably because of the economy...but where one dominoe falls, more are to follow. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Well...here's my take on it. It's not a bad thing to have ideas of what you want in mind. However, the chances of finding HIM ( as you put it ) are going to be pretty slim. In the meantime, you will bypass many, MANY guys who very well could make you ' grin like a loon ' or have you to where you can't stop thinking about them, simply because they don't have enough of the ' drool factor '. Bypassing a man who has all the qualities you look for, except for the fact that he isn't quite " hawt " enough is not only unfair to that kind of guy, but it's also unfair to yourself. I am not saying that you should disregard looks completely. That simply isn't possible. Quasimodo simply isn't an attractive dude. But even a regular looking dude can manage to stimulate a woman if he can get into her head. You are being unfair to the guys because of their appearance, which doesn't make the MAN.... And you are being unfair to yourself for passing up on the potential to be blissfully happy because you looked past someone great toward someone better looking. THIS is the problem that SOOOOO many around here have. They want that ' perfect ' person, and consider anything less than ' perfect ' to be " settling ". To me, " settling " is allowing yourself to accept a LOT less than you are looking for. Giving a little on one thing, when everything else is good is not settling. That's just being realistic. Where did the OP talk about appearance? I looked at the first post again and she mentioned looks, as in the way he looks at her, not his appearance... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lower your expectations, and youll be happy. Expect nothing and you wont be disapointed. I don't see why she should lower her expectations. Her list isn't way out there.  mmm o--kaayy
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lower your expectations, and youll be happy. Expect nothing and you wont be disapointed. I don't see why she should lower her expectations. Her list isn't way out there. mmm o--kaayy It isn't like she gave salary requirements or specified what type of job he should have, or even what he should look like. I don't see a problem with someone wanting to find someone who makes them feel good. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lower your expectations, and youll be happy. Expect nothing and you wont be disapointed. I don't see why she should lower her expectations. Her list isn't way out there. mmm o--kaayy It isn't like she gave salary requirements or specified what type of job he should have, or even what he should look like. I don't see a problem with someone wanting to find someone who makes them feel good. yes we all have dreams of what we would like, expecting them are a whole other ballpark. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
JustAGuy2112
on
Fri 07/17/09 02:00 PM
|
|
I want a man who's looks make me forget who I am. I may have misunderstood what exactly she meant by this statement. However, I have seen other posts of hers where she specifically said that she wants a guy that makes her drool. I don't believe she was referring to him hitting her with a shot of Novacaine. lol Now, before you go getting your panties in a twist and think I am attacking her...I have talked to her in emails and she knows that I am not attacking her. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I want a man who's looks make me forget who I am. I may have misunderstood what exactly she meant by this statement. However, I have seen other posts of hers where she specifically said that she wants a guy that makes her drool. I don't believe she was referring to him hitting her with a shot of Novacaine. lol Now, before you go getting your panties in a twist and think I am attacking her...I have talked to her in emails and she knows that I am not attacking her. This is what she wrote: I want a man who's looks make me forget who I am. Not physicality, but actual looks... like when he looks at me, when he smiles a certain way, the way his face moves when he's being silly or happy... or horny. To me, that's not talking about physical appearance. Just the way he actually looks at her. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
That's fine. I will still stand by my statements.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Interesting thread.
I have read the list several times and the thought that comes to mind is if the OP thought how some of those standards would apply to her if the tables were reversed the insight might bring some flexibility. IMHO having standards are important and really fair because how can someone know what you need and want if you never give them and idea. It seems cruel to expect some one to bend fold and mutilate themselves trying to be what they never could be. The reality is in a day to day relationship the likelyhood of having a consistently on target response is not a good bet. Sometimes you can't be funny, sexy, or "tuned in" on demand. Relationships kind of ebbing and flowing around what happens to come along with real life is pretty predictable. I like to think youth makes one more idealistic but then I tend to be very idealistic and I don't consider myself young. Wanting to feel love and passion seems normal and quite possible in a healthy relationship. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
snarkytwain
on
Fri 07/17/09 04:01 PM
|
|
TOO true, singmesweet. I did not speak of physicality in my OP.
 I have, however, spoken of it in other posts, as justaguy pointed out. Let me clarify a bit here, for everyone. I have crushed on guys that my friends have been  about many, many times actually. If you asked anyone who knows me irl what my "type" is, they'd probably laugh and say "weirdo's" or something to that extent. My "type" tends to be a bit different than the norm. Mostly because for me, what makes me drool is WAY more than just physical. So yes, justaguy, I wand a guy who makes me drool, but that guy I imagine will do so by the way he looks at me, by the way his face lights up when he talks about something that matters to him, by his quirky grin or goofy faces he makes. In other words, by who he is inside AND out. Believe it or not, women don't HAVE to be shallow... and many of us are not.  I have read the list several times and the thought that comes to mind is if the OP thought how some of those standards would apply to her if the tables were reversed the insight might bring some flexibility. That's actually why I have some of the things on my list... because they're things I covet in myself, too. ETA: justaguy, I'll be replying to your e-mail today. Sorry... yesterday was kinda crazy. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
In other words, by who he is inside AND out. Believe it or not, women don't HAVE to be shallow... and many of us are not. I wasn't trying to imply that you were being shallow, Jessi. I know better than that, having talked to you. I was just making an observation based on other things I had seen you post. I see that I was a little off base and I apologize. ;-) ETA: justaguy, I'll be replying to your e-mail today. Sorry... yesterday was kinda crazy. No worries. I know how it goes sometimes. Like I said...when you have time and if you want to. :-) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
No problem babe. Mostly wanted to clear that up for EVERYONE'S sake.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 I LIKE TURTLES
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I have never been in love. Ever. No, not even with my ex-husband. I have come to the conclusion that this sucks, and I WANT to know what that feels like. So I have chosen not to settle anymore. Problem is, what I want in a man may be too much. I want a man who's looks make me forget who I am. Not physicality, but actual looks... like when he looks at me, when he smiles a certain way, the way his face moves when he's being silly or happy... or horny. I want a man who holds me in a way that makes me feel entirely comfortable and content. I want a man who, from the first that I meet him, I can't forget about him. I want a man who has the capacity to truly love my kids, and who wants a family... truly. Who will get to know my kids as individuals, not because he feels he has to, but because he LIKES them as PEOPLE. I want a man who will actually take me on a DATE sometimes. I want a man who can make me laugh. Who's not afraid of being goofy. I want a man who will be spontaneous on the weekends but has a job and keeps it. I want a man with ambition. Not to make the most money, but to be the best he can be... to LIVE his life, and not simply exist. I just want... HIM. Is that too much to ask? Should I just give up and never really be in love? 
|
|
|
|
|
