Hi,

I really need help with this from the girls. Can you please tell me what I did wrong and how I can make it better if I still have a chance. I am usually somewhat of a confident guy but when I "really like" a girl, I get nervous and I tend to make mistakes. I have no trouble taking to girls who I am not attracted to that way.
I am not sure if she thinks of me as friend or more?
Anyways, here is the story.

There is a girl that I really like. She is just really special and I am really attracted to her.
It seemed like she liked me too. We work together so we would always talk and "hang out" at work. We shared lots of personal stories and it seems like both of us enjoy our time together. Anyways, she first ask me out to go play pool, but i didn't really tell her no or yes, like I said i get nervous and make stupid mistakes with girls I really like. Anyways, so the pool thing never happened even though she did bring it up again one more time. Let me describe her so you guys know what type of girl she is. She is very confident but quiet, barely talks to anyone or makes eye contact. She comes out as a shy person.

We were together one day and finally, I got the courage to ask her out that night. She said yes, but I am not sure she said yes just to be nice or she really wanted to go out. Anyways, she did give me her phone number before I forgot to add it and I was also trying to play hard to get for some reason. So i never bothered adding it to my phone book. When I asked her out that day, I told her we can hangout after work but I didn't really tell her where we would go or what time. Anyways, she left work without mentioning about the plans for that night. Which I took it as a sign that she was not interested. Plus I did not have her # cause I never added to my phone book, so i couldn't follow up and call her but she did have my #. Since we were both lost without communication, that night did not happen and so I decided to go out with guy friend. And that night I bumped into her with her friend. We were both surprised we were both there and had a small conversation. We didn't hangout cause I had work early next morning so I left. Next, morning she contacted me and told me that "it was funny bumping into you last night but we were supposed to go out, remember?" I asked her with what went wrong, and she told me she doesn't know was happened but was expecting a call from me. And I told her the truth that I lost her #.

Round 2:
I got the courage to ask her out again. This time I had somewhat of a trouble asking her out but she kinda helped me and made a joke about if I am taking her out for a dinner, which helped. Again she said yes. But I am not sure if she said yes just to be nice and because we work together. Anyways, this time i did have her #. SO I called her and set up a time to pick her up from her house which she agreed too. But she told me that she is currently busy with something but she would be free in the evening which I was okay with because I wanted to take her out in the evening anyways. So long story short, she contacted me early evening and told me that we would have to do this some other day and that she is running late and she has a headache. So the night never happened. Did she just turned me down??

I am not sure if I somehow told her that she is not important when she is. Maybe she thought I am not interested in her? Maybe she really thinks of me as a friend or is she playing hard to get? If a girl is interested in a guy wouldn't she meet him halfway or does the guy have to go all the way? This are all the question going through my mind and it is driving me crazy. I need help, I need a female person to tell me what is going on.

Tell me how I should do things differently in the future if i still have a chance with her.

Thanks you for taking the time to read this whole thing and help me out.

Ok, just to condense? She asked you out, twice. You blew her off. You asked her out then decided to play games by not keeping her phone number. You asked her out and expected her to contact you to find out the where's and when's etc? Now, though you blew her off 3 times, you're upset because she cancelled because she wasn't feeling well? Why not, you made it clear it wasn't a priority so she didn't make it one either.

If it were me, yup, I'd say you blew it. Women aren't into men who play games (and vice versa). And you were definitely playing games, no matter how you might phrase it. However, I'm not her.

The only suggestion I have is for you to tell her exactly what you told us and see what she says. But don't be surprised if she's not interested.

Live, learn, move forward.

I'm with u,no games.when they play games with me i just move on.

How will you know if you never ask again?
Fear will always confine you.
What is the worse possible scenario?
She say no and you know where you stand or you never know and the rest of your life you wonder.
Good Luck and I wish the best

I personally wouldn't take you seriously. You have on many instances shown that you don't mean what you say OR say what you mean. You don't follow through. You throw out suggestions and drop it. You admit to playing "hard to get" when you clearly knew that she liked you. I'd be moving on and not giving you a second look. JMO

I know I messed up that is why I asked her out the second time to make things straight.
But girls play games all the time, NO? you guys make us chase you and play hard to get. I thought it was for the thrill of it.

Im reading this as if he is half asking for a date. You do need to say a time place and when.

Thanks for the kind words and being nice.
How can i show her that I care about her, I need to fix this. I really like her. :(

Max, Max, Max! Are you looking for dates, or for playing games? Decide and go with that. That way no complaints later why someone could not figure out what's going on in your head.

Umm, some girls do (but by far, not all of them), women don't. Little boys play games, MEN don't. Man up, is all I can say. Be honest, quit playing childish, foolish games. Or, walk away, keep playing and see how far that gets you.

Perhaps I should have checked out your age. "Girls" may play the chase game, I'm not sure many "Women" do. I know that "I" don't. If I'm interested, they have my attention.. if not, I move on. I'm too old for such games. Just remember, if you play the game of chase for too long, someone else will be there to step in the game. JMO

But then I also have to wonder, if you are THAT interested in this girl, WHY would you sign up for a dating site today and make this your first post? lol

You should really tell her the truth, how she makes you feel, how nervous you get when feelings arise and be honest. Very seldom does a woman agree out of self-pity. She sounds like she is interested and you are just making the wrong assumptions by over analyzing the siutation.
We all make stupid mistakes when feelings are involve, take a deep breath, send her a letter if you are unable to speak and tell her how you feel without excuses.

Best of luck to you love and know if it's meant, it'll be:)

A letter, not an e-mail or a text, very important!

She must have really liked you to have put up with this as long as she did.

No such thing as "Fix"
Be romantic. What are her favorite flowers. Buy them for her. Find enough courage to ask her out. After work is great. "Lets grab some ice cream after work at Dairy Queen. Ok Ill meet you at the elevator."
Be shy thats what makes you (never try to be what your not), but have enough courage to ask.
If its a No dont take it to heart. The more you ask the more you are likely to get an Yes.

Thank you very much ladies and guys. I feel lot more comfortable sharing my feelings with her now. I will see her tomorrow so I will definitely keep you in the loop. Hopefully I can still make this work.

Usually when guys are playing games they are not really into her. So when I read your message I get the idea that you were not really into her and that's why ur fooling around.
Cuz if u would really like her, I really can't imagine that you don't keep her phone number. It all sounds not very honoust to me, the things you say and do are contradictory.

not all girls play games just as not all guys play games. but even if someone did...do 2 wrongs make a right???? plus IMO..it's not a good idea to get involved with co-workers. if it doesn't work out and there are hard feelings...you 2 still have to work together.

Max...if you really like her then just ask her out. Set up a real date and then actually make it happen. I mean seriously, it seems like you are the one who is the game player. You forgot to put her phone number in your book? How many phone numbers do you collect? I think her number was something that you should have done right off IF you were really interested.
Women do get sick and do have to cancel dates once in awhile. BUT when she seen you out with the guys when you were suppose to call her?? YIKES that is a big strike for you!!! Be a big boy and just ask her out and stop trying to be all cute about it!!! Sometimes we don't like a shy guy, we like for the man to take control and actually set up the plans!!!
Good luck

Update:
I am not motivated to ask her out anymore.
I asked her out again but she said she was busy. I am taking that as a sign that she is not interested anymore.
I am going to try to move on.

I feel like crap right now. Only time will heal.

I am really sorry about that I just can't think straight. I really feel depressed.
:(