Topic: The Approachability Issue
no photo
Sat 07/04/09 12:59 PM

:smile: I know a girl they call 'The radio station' cuz she's so easy to pick up:smile:




that'd make a killer screen name:wink:

no photo
Sat 07/04/09 12:59 PM




Stemming from some forum and e-mail exchanges last night....

I'd like to know what everyone thinks about the concept of approachability when dealing with others here.

Because I was told last night that some might not see me as approachable -- and I'm having a hard time grasping that idea.

The issue continues to be raised -- usually, couched in terms like "intimidating" or something along those lines -- but the upshot is that people are telling me they don't feel they can approach me.

Sorry if I ever gave anyone that impression....! Not the goal, I can assure you.

But maybe I'm missing a chromosome or something, because I can't remember ever feeling intimidated by anything I've seen written in these forums, and I've certainly never seen anything that would make me regard someone as unapproachable.

I should clarify something here: in my mind, there is a difference between "unapproachable" and "someone I simply would not care to approach." It's the intimidation-vs.-distaste scenario -- not that the person isn't approachable, just that I can think of no good reason why I would ever want to do that.

How do you decide if someone is approachable or not?

Just curious....



I am not approachable.

Base the rest off me.


pfft, i approach you all the time:tongue: laugh


Point taken, I'm approachable by a varied few.


:banana:

no photo
Sat 07/04/09 01:00 PM

I do understand.. We all get those types of emails... Those are outright morons.. I just think that if you want to be approached for more than friends then you would keep your mind open to the fact that very few women are going to have an off the chart iq like yours, some may not write perfectly, speak perfectly or spell perfectly but they may be someone that if you just gave them a tiny break could blossom just being around you and you could bring out something in them that you didn't realize was there just looking at the surface. Not every woman will want to make you into a goat... And you never know, there may be that one woman that expands your world by what she offers and knows which may be different that what you offer and know... The world would be a pretty boring place if we were all the same.. No one knows everything and so many can offer us new ways at looking at things, life, ideas, etc. To me that is a beautiful thing..


EXACTLY!!! Thank you!

It isn't about perfection, or the 160 IQ, or exceptional spelling and punctuation skills (don't get me wrong, those are good, but not something I would build the foundation of a relationship on, probably) -- it's about other things.

I thought I was more or less hinting around at that in the subtext of some of my postings, but I guess it may have been a little too cryptic.






IndnPrncs's photo
Sat 07/04/09 01:02 PM


I do understand.. We all get those types of emails... Those are outright morons.. I just think that if you want to be approached for more than friends then you would keep your mind open to the fact that very few women are going to have an off the chart iq like yours, some may not write perfectly, speak perfectly or spell perfectly but they may be someone that if you just gave them a tiny break could blossom just being around you and you could bring out something in them that you didn't realize was there just looking at the surface. Not every woman will want to make you into a goat... And you never know, there may be that one woman that expands your world by what she offers and knows which may be different that what you offer and know... The world would be a pretty boring place if we were all the same.. No one knows everything and so many can offer us new ways at looking at things, life, ideas, etc. To me that is a beautiful thing..


EXACTLY!!! Thank you!

It isn't about perfection, or the 160 IQ, or exceptional spelling and punctuation skills (don't get me wrong, those are good, but not something I would build the foundation of a relationship on, probably) -- it's about other things.

I thought I was more or less hinting around at that in the subtext of some of my postings, but I guess it may have been a little too cryptic.








I think you have :wink: I have an idea, I'll email you.. Just don't judge my sentence structure, comma splices and run on sentences... laugh laugh

MirrorMirror's photo
Sat 07/04/09 01:37 PM
:smile: You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women,but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.:smile:


IndnPrncs's photo
Sat 07/04/09 01:38 PM

:smile: You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women,but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.:smile:




I think it's the boobs... If men have them we don't want them... laugh laugh laugh

no photo
Sat 07/04/09 01:38 PM

:smile: You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women,but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.:smile:




you've never met my exes:wink:

no photo
Sat 07/04/09 02:21 PM

:smile: You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women,but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.:smile:


I've done that enough times to know it simply doesn't work....!


MirrorMirror's photo
Sat 07/04/09 03:02 PM


:smile: You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women,but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.:smile:




you've never met my exes:wink:
laugh

no photo
Sat 07/04/09 03:13 PM


:smile: You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women,but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.:smile:




I think it's the boobs... If men have them we don't want them... laugh laugh laugh


drinker

krupa's photo
Sat 07/04/09 03:13 PM
First thing first man....stop hamstringing yourelf by quoting your IQ score...(kind of suprised me with that one)

Secondly, No offense bro..your sense of humor is "dry"....not like a bad thing...more like old "Monty Python" or "Black Adder" kind of dry.....

funny, but, not everyone will catch it.

No offense was intended my good man...just seemed like you were looking for an honest opinion.


no photo
Sat 07/04/09 05:14 PM

First thing first man....stop hamstringing yourelf by quoting your IQ score...(kind of suprised me with that one)


Have I ever actually given my own score? -- I don't remember, but I do know I usually say something like I'm looking for someone with a 160 IQ -- this is hyperbole; I would be just as satisfied with, say, a 157. Probably.


Secondly, No offense bro..your sense of humor is "dry"....not like a bad thing...more like old "Monty Python" or "Black Adder" kind of dry.....

funny, but, not everyone will catch it.

No offense was intended my good man...just seemed like you were looking for an honest opinion.


Well, sense of humor is pretty important to me, and I realize not everyone will get it. And that's OK -- I'm sure there are things of theirs I wouldn't get either.




floridaredhead's photo
Sat 07/04/09 05:23 PM


:smile: I know a girl they call 'The radio station' cuz she's so easy to pick up:smile:




that'd make a killer screen name:wink:

I know a few like that

no photo
Sat 07/04/09 08:09 PM



:smile: I know a girl they call 'The radio station' cuz she's so easy to pick up:smile:




that'd make a killer screen name:wink:

I know a few like that


yeah one of my ex besties was just like that, lol

Roco's photo
Sat 07/04/09 08:32 PM
How do you decide if someone is approachable or not?

by evaluating the comments, if they are balanced, then i would think they are approachable...

roko

no photo
Sat 07/04/09 08:34 PM

How do you decide if someone is approachable or not?

by evaluating the comments, if they are balanced, then i would think they are approachable...

roko



some people are full of surprises....

krupa's photo
Sun 07/05/09 05:54 AM

Have I ever actually given my own score? -- I don't remember, but I do know I usually say something like I'm looking for someone with a 160 IQ -- this is hyperbole; I would be just as satisfied with, say, a 157. Probably.



Ooops...thought you were saying 160...my bad

even so, that may kind of limit you Dude.

Not saying, that you should date a dumb @ss...but, book smarts and common sense ain't always the same thing.

I will say this...I had a conversation with a good friend of mine a while back and he described his ideal woman "Blonde hair, blue eyed, big boobs....etc"

I said "Stan! You can't limit yourself like that!...what if that woman wants a blonde haired, blue eyed man?" (he has dark hair and eyes)..."What if the woman who can make you truely happy is a flat chested brunette with a lazy eye?..."You would never get to be happy cause you wouldn't give someone a shot that does not fall into your preconcieved standards"

Later he hooked up with a lil Fillipeno chick and has been happy as a clam eversince.

I guess my point is....ideals and standards are fine...but, the individual (faults and all) should figure into the compatibility equation as well.

Just my take on it bro.

s1owhand's photo
Sun 07/05/09 05:59 AM

Stemming from some forum and e-mail exchanges last night....

I'd like to know what everyone thinks about the concept of approachability when dealing with others here.

Because I was told last night that some might not see me as approachable -- and I'm having a hard time grasping that idea.

The issue continues to be raised -- usually, couched in terms like "intimidating" or something along those lines -- but the upshot is that people are telling me they don't feel they can approach me.

Sorry if I ever gave anyone that impression....! Not the goal, I can assure you.

But maybe I'm missing a chromosome or something, because I can't remember ever feeling intimidated by anything I've seen written in these forums, and I've certainly never seen anything that would make me regard someone as unapproachable.

I should clarify something here: in my mind, there is a difference between "unapproachable" and "someone I simply would not care to approach." It's the intimidation-vs.-distaste scenario -- not that the person isn't approachable, just that I can think of no good reason why I would ever want to do that.

How do you decide if someone is approachable or not?

Just curious....



^^^^

see? look at this! what are you possibly gonna be able to
say to this guy?

laugh laugh laugh laugh:

i'll approach. but i'm not getting tooo close!

laugh

IQ? <<<classsified>>> laugh

but yeah, I like smott chicks too! bigsmile


Mr_Music's photo
Sun 07/05/09 07:12 AM


Lex is very approachable!

Just the other day I asked him to go out bar hopping. He was all for it! (Just didn't expect him to dress like the biker from the Village People yet talk like Frazier Crane)...but, I am not the person to cast judgement...

He is cool!


Some people get it and some people don't.

And I PREFER to be the construction guy, but I couldn't find the helmet....


Lex, that's a hardhat, not a helmet.

*See, ladies? He doesn't know everything! He's approachable!*
:laughing:

no photo
Sun 07/05/09 07:25 AM



Lex is very approachable!

Just the other day I asked him to go out bar hopping. He was all for it! (Just didn't expect him to dress like the biker from the Village People yet talk like Frazier Crane)...but, I am not the person to cast judgement...

He is cool!


Some people get it and some people don't.

And I PREFER to be the construction guy, but I couldn't find the helmet....


Lex, that's a hardhat, not a helmet.

*See, ladies? He doesn't know everything! He's approachable!*
:laughing:


Yeah, there's ANOTHER thing I know nothing about....!

Maybe the local community college has a course in Construction Attire Terminology....?

shades