I think everyone on this site is approachable to a certain degree. Unless that person flat out says "bug off people I am not available" they are fair game so to speak. There are some that are approachable only as friends and some approachable as friends and wanting more, so the only way to find out for sure if anyone is in either of those categories is to go for it and find out! What's the worst that can happen? I do not find anyone on this site that doesn't fit into those 2 groups. The trick is to find out which group they belong in. Lex, I never would have considered you as unapproachable to the ladies. I guess it's all in how they see what you write, which I have always found to be interesting. Maybe it's the fact that the mod thing scares them off, who knows! But now that it is in the open, ladies, Lex is approachable! Go for it!





Now, Phuque is different! She and her big gun scare me! Just kidding! You know I love ya!

Poet perves me too...I'm proud to call him my STEALTH STUD

Lex is very approachable!

Just the other day I asked him to go out bar hopping. He was all for it! (Just didn't expect him to dress like the biker from the Village People yet talk like Frazier Crane)...but, I am not the person to cast judgement...

He is cool!

Stemming from some forum and e-mail exchanges last night....

I'd like to know what everyone thinks about the concept of approachability when dealing with others here.

Because I was told last night that some might not see me as approachable -- and I'm having a hard time grasping that idea.

The issue continues to be raised -- usually, couched in terms like "intimidating" or something along those lines -- but the upshot is that people are telling me they don't feel they can approach me.

Sorry if I ever gave anyone that impression....! Not the goal, I can assure you.

But maybe I'm missing a chromosome or something, because I can't remember ever feeling intimidated by anything I've seen written in these forums, and I've certainly never seen anything that would make me regard someone as unapproachable.

I should clarify something here: in my mind, there is a difference between "unapproachable" and "someone I simply would not care to approach." It's the intimidation-vs.-distaste scenario -- not that the person isn't approachable, just that I can think of no good reason why I would ever want to do that.

How do you decide if someone is approachable or not?

Just curious....

Lex is very approachable!

Just the other day I asked him to go out bar hopping. He was all for it! (Just didn't expect him to dress like the biker from the Village People yet talk like Frazier Crane)...but, I am not the person to cast judgement...

He is cool!

you are kind of intimidating though...

what i have noticed is that when you speak like a thesaurus and articulate well people may find that intimidating. intelligence is intimidating. but intimidating may not be the correct term. perhaps people see it as stand-offish?

i'd approach you Lex...

Stemming from some forum and e-mail exchanges last night....

I'd like to know what everyone thinks about the concept of approachability when dealing with others here.

Because I was told last night that some might not see me as approachable -- and I'm having a hard time grasping that idea.

The issue continues to be raised -- usually, couched in terms like "intimidating" or something along those lines -- but the upshot is that people are telling me they don't feel they can approach me.

Sorry if I ever gave anyone that impression....! Not the goal, I can assure you.

But maybe I'm missing a chromosome or something, because I can't remember ever feeling intimidated by anything I've seen written in these forums, and I've certainly never seen anything that would make me regard someone as unapproachable.

I should clarify something here: in my mind, there is a difference between "unapproachable" and "someone I simply would not care to approach." It's the intimidation-vs.-distaste scenario -- not that the person isn't approachable, just that I can think of no good reason why I would ever want to do that.

How do you decide if someone is approachable or not?

Just curious....

OK, but why is that?

Again, I may be missing something here. I'm actually attracted to people who can use big words (provided they're used properly) -- but I'm not a strict grammarian, in real life, and anyone who has read much of my stuff will have noticed that I make words up whenever I feel that particular strategy works better than trying to use real ones.

I really don't think of myself as stand-offish at all -- and people who know me here would probably laugh at that idea.

Maybe the whole thing about being intimidated is a choice (conscious or otherwise) one makes based on whatever one's individual criteria may be. Maybe it's auto-contextual or something -- otherwise, why do so many different people get completely different interpretations of the same piece of writing?

Lex, I think being approachable as friends leaves less chance for rejection than approaching you as a romantic interest... If women are intimidated, think you want something they will never be or don't feel you're interested in meeting someone then you're unapproachable to them...

Your preferences are just that "your preferences". If no one is going to meet those expectations then that is something you'll either deal with or reassess at some point.

I am not approachable.

Base the rest off me.

I do understand.. We all get those types of emails... Those are outright morons.. I just think that if you want to be approached for more than friends then you would keep your mind open to the fact that very few women are going to have an off the chart iq like yours, some may not write perfectly, speak perfectly or spell perfectly but they may be someone that if you just gave them a tiny break could blossom just being around you and you could bring out something in them that you didn't realize was there just looking at the surface. Not every woman will want to make you into a goat... And you never know, there may be that one woman that expands your world by what she offers and knows which may be different that what you offer and know... The world would be a pretty boring place if we were all the same.. No one knows everything and so many can offer us new ways at looking at things, life, ideas, etc. To me that is a beautiful thing..

I do understand.. We all get those types of emails... Those are outright morons.. I just think that if you want to be approached for more than friends then you would keep your mind open to the fact that very few women are going to have an off the chart iq like yours, some may not write perfectly, speak perfectly or spell perfectly but they may be someone that if you just gave them a tiny break could blossom just being around you and you could bring out something in them that you didn't realize was there just looking at the surface. Not every woman will want to make you into a goat... And you never know, there may be that one woman that expands your world by what she offers and knows which may be different that what you offer and know... The world would be a pretty boring place if we were all the same.. No one knows everything and so many can offer us new ways at looking at things, life, ideas, etc. To me that is a beautiful thing..

pfft, i approach you all the time