Sorry but just a little rant and then I am done....

I have been divorced a little bit over a year now. It has been pretty good so far other then seemingly endless supply of selfish women there is in the world. Now granted I have been out of the dating work for 12 years, but should it have changed that much?

I have 4 children that mean the world to me and come FIRST. With the mentality I have been running into that is unacceptable. I can’t get a second date for the life of me once they know I have kids. I can understand to a point it can be an inconvenience, but there is no drama or headaches from the X.

I have taken a few long looks at how I approach revealing my situation. You really hate to keep something like that from someone you are getting to know, but how can you get to know someone that doesn’t give you a chance? Certainly lying isn’t the answer. I am lost.

Please don’t take this as an ego trip or anything. I know I am a nice guy. Loyal, decent looking ( I think ) and I have a great career. I am not asking or looking for a new mother for my children. Just some understanding that to be the father I need to be; sometimes the woman in my life will get pushed back in line a bit. You wouldn’t think this would be such a hassle. I guess this is some of the reason we turn to these sites. Maybe to filter out the garbage before you have to meet it and take it out.

Ok I am done now.. LOL Sorry for the Book.

Do your kids live with you?

be yourself. I see nothing wrong with your situation. there are women out there that would be happy to be with you. just keep looking

If you feel penalized perhaps it isn't because of the four kids, but rather your attitude that there is "a seemingly endless supply of selfish women in the world."

Yes, there are a lot of single moms that would go out with a guy that has kids

good point

hello kimberly

I don’t think it’s an attitude what so ever. That’s not a point of view but rather an experience. I surely do not go into things thinking that way... I can see where you are coming from, and I thought that way at first too.

I can promise you that I can get along with pretty much everyone. The dating is just new and different. I am sure there are mistakes I am making also. I am in no way naive enough to think I am perfect.

Ahhh. I see

My kids do live with me. Which makes me a bit strapped for time some weeks.

hello auburngirl

that's what stood out to me

there are millions of parents who raise their children together and manage to stay together, and don't feel any less, or more, important than the children they share.

why should ANYONE feel as though they 'have to get pushed back in line a bit'. gee, talk about not feeling important.

i'd never date someone that told me that upfront.

i have three children and sometimes they are the priority, sometimes it's my partner, sometimes it's me and sometimes it's something else altogther. priorities change day by day and minute by minute. the adult needs to learn how to balance it all in a positive, non-lopsided way.

Yeah maybe not the best way of wording it. I am sure all of us can understand with some of the people you come across..

"Maybe to filter out the garbage before you have to meet it and take it out."

And thats why I put sometimes. Like I said this is all experienced based. Maybe I have met the wrong people too. It is definatley a circus balancing act. Adults should beable to balance it. Like I said maybe just the wrong ones.

THe search continues. :)

I see now you answered my question

Have you tried dating any single moms?

i don't think my kids, or my boyfriend, feel like they are pushed to the back of the line at ANY time. robin?

mothers do this every day (balance their family life), and have done so for all eternity.