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| Topic: Dating is Basic...then why is it so hard? | |
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This always ponders me when i think about it. we a human all want (well most) all want some for of companion in our life. either wife, girlfriend, close friend ect. No one likes to be alone, and if you do do your thing. So why is it so damn hard to find someone who compliments you, and makes you happy?
my question is why is it so hard to date, and to find one. Why all the cat and mouse games? because as i get older the whole cat and mouse game is played out. but still have to play it and no it not fun Why cant i just walk up to a women who i feel is attractive, and be like "Hello how are you? I noticed you and think you are beautiful. Do you find me attractive...if yes...then let try top date/go out ect."-then go from there seems simple but not, because to me communication is something we lack today. if i like you, you like me, let go out on a date....but no it never like that nor that easy.... I am tired of wondering if she likes me, what should I say, is she in good/bad mood....then when get number and then go out these things come up.....should i call her back same day, but i dont want to seem desperate but i really think she beautiful, so should i wait at least one day, tw or three...then when on date it like should i hug, should i kiss on cheek, try to hold hands if she pulls away how should i react, should i pay, should i not, should i ask her if she minds if i pay... and girls for you it like i like this guy, but i dont want him to know how much i like him. i want to make eye contact but as soon as he makes it with me i turn my head. Should i smile i think he cute, but i dont want to smile cause i dont want him to know i noticed him. should i play hard to get or should not..... lol Why does it have to be this complicated...if it wasnt we wouldnt be on these sites :P OPINIONS WANTED |
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I hear you Bro......no easy answer.
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I blame the internet!
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It's been this way for eons. It's not just the net. I'm pretty darned tired of it all myself. May go back under my rock pretty soon.
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WOW!!! I totally agree with you...why is it so hard to date? Seriously is it really suppose to be this difficult? I've been told it happens when you least expect it to. But then again is there really "the one" for everybody? Why does it have to be so confusing? Good Luck in your search, I hope you find what you are looking for.
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C
 'mon, I'll go out with you.
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I would give my right arm to be approached by a man, openly and honestly and invited to dinner.
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Whhup's, he's too young for me. Bet he's nice tho.
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Edited by
DrBogenbroom
on
Wed 06/24/09 06:31 PM
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Hold up. This could be a really good topic. OP, I understand where you're coming from. I'd like to ask a question to both the ladies and the guys out there.
When is it okay for someone (a stranger) to approach you in public? I struggle to understand when it might be acceptable, and when it might be better to let someone go about their business. In the end I always choose the same route and keep my thoughts to myself. Obviously, if a woman sits next to me at the bar I'm going to say hi, introduce myslef, and make a comment or start a conversation. What about in different settings? What if I spot you comparing pineapples at the market? Would it be creepy for me to introduce myself? If your eating lunch alone at the mall. My I say hi and offer to join you? If we cross paths every day for a year but never exchange more than a smile or a polite hello, would it be okay if I stop you tomorrow for a more formal introduction? Personally, I am happy to be bothered by anyone at any time. I'm just happy to talk to someone. I too often go weeks at a time without meaningful conversation. It's a special event in my mind when someone says, "Hi Mike, how are you today?". Those little gestures make me feel good, so I try to pass the buck as often as possible. But, I just don't know when to go further than pleasentries. This is what I love about a place like this. It's pretty easy to tell why we are here and that it's okay for me to say hi. |
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Perhaps part of it is fear of rejection by the other especially in front of others. Also you wonder if making the first move puts you on the weak part of the relationship. Some of it may be from coming out of a long term relationship and the general mistrust that seems to bring with it. I have to agree that it is supposed to be simple, ask and respond. Not trying to out think Gen Patton in setting up war manuevers! Oh and SKPCG, leave that rock alone!
  
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Edited by
TexasScoundrel
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Wed 06/24/09 07:57 PM
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(deep sigh) I don't understand why so many people have so much trouble with this. Dating is EASY! You can go up to a woman and say "Hi, you are very attrcative and I'd like to get to know you." Shake her hand and smile. Maybe she'll respond with favor and maybe she won't. If she doesn't, move on to the next one. There is no shortage of attractive women I assure you.
I do this whenever I see a woman I find attractive or interesting except when she is working or I'm working. |
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This always ponders me when i think about it. we a human all want (well most) all want some for of companion in our life. either wife, girlfriend, close friend ect. No one likes to be alone, and if you do do your thing. So why is it so damn hard to find someone who compliments you, and makes you happy? my question is why is it so hard to date, and to find one. Why all the cat and mouse games? because as i get older the whole cat and mouse game is played out. but still have to play it and no it not fun Why cant i just walk up to a women who i feel is attractive, and be like "Hello how are you? I noticed you and think you are beautiful. Do you find me attractive...if yes...then let try top date/go out ect."-then go from there seems simple but not, because to me communication is something we lack today. if i like you, you like me, let go out on a date....but no it never like that nor that easy.... I am tired of wondering if she likes me, what should I say, is she in good/bad mood....then when get number and then go out these things come up.....should i call her back same day, but i dont want to seem desperate but i really think she beautiful, so should i wait at least one day, tw or three...then when on date it like should i hug, should i kiss on cheek, try to hold hands if she pulls away how should i react, should i pay, should i not, should i ask her if she minds if i pay... and girls for you it like i like this guy, but i dont want him to know how much i like him. i want to make eye contact but as soon as he makes it with me i turn my head. Should i smile i think he cute, but i dont want to smile cause i dont want him to know i noticed him. should i play hard to get or should not..... lol Why does it have to be this complicated...if it wasnt we wouldnt be on these sites :P OPINIONS WANTED In short, it's because people don't know how to date anymore. They've all fallen for the complete malarkey spoon-fed to them via romantic comedy films starring Jennifer Aniston and incredibly-lame reality TV shows. It's all turned into a real-life soap opera instead of a means of courting for a potential mate. |
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Nothing is hard when you know how to do it as my dear deceased pop used to say.
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If ya can't be with the one ya love
Then love the one ya with We all take it so seriously |
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I can't even get anyone to ask me out.
 It's the only reason I don't date.
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I can't even get anyone to ask me out. It's the only reason I don't date. Not even the creepy guy that was following you at the store a longtime ago
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If you are truly HAPPY with YOURSELF, it will be easy to be with some else. If you're looking for someone to MAKE YOU HAPPY, you'll be so disappointed and find it's worse than work.
Just love yourself, love others without judging - including looks..and look for what you can GIVE.... The answers are all inside of you! Good Luck! LoveLeeLady |
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I can't even get anyone to ask me out. It's the only reason I don't date. Not even the creepy guy that was following you at the store a longtime ago OH man.  If he wasn't a midget wrestler stalker, then he might have had a shot.
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I can't even get anyone to ask me out. It's the only reason I don't date. Not even the creepy guy that was following you at the store a longtime ago OH man. If he wasn't a midget wrestler stalker, then he might have had a shot.
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I would give my right arm to be approached by a man, openly and honestly and invited to dinner. Invite him chrissy.................why wait for him. |
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