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| Topic: Buying gifts for men | |
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Edited by
uk1971
on
Sat 06/13/09 10:18 AM
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Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these simple rules and you should have no problem.
Rule #01: When in doubt, buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why. Rule #02: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By the way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why. Rule #03: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer, or something to hang from his rearview mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why. Rule #04: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. If God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts. Rule #05: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your male a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips. Rule #06: Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey or beer. Rule #07: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after-shave or deodorant. We do not stink, we are "earthy." Rule #08: Buy men label-makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why. Rule #09: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin any occasion and he will always have parts left over. Rule #10: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sear's Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.") Rule #11: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook, but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?" Rule #12: Tickets to a Dallas Cowboys, Texas Rangers, Central Texas Stampede games are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why. Rule #13: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why, please refer to Rule #08 and what happens when he gets a label-maker. Rule #14: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why. Rule #15: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least the Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope. No one knows why.  
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Inviting him for dinner is a nice gift too.
Buying one of those big cookies works for me to!! |
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If the mans asian the list gets much much shorter
Xbox 360, PS3, or Wii nuff said |
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I once mentioned to my grandmother that I couldn't decide what to get my then-fiance for Christmas. She told me that a woman was not supposed to buy a man gifts unless he was her fiance, and then she could only buy him handkerchiefs or a "parasol." I immediately called up my fiance and asked: "So which do you want, a handerkerchief or a parasol?!" I always wondered if he married me just so he could get "real" gifts!
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I also have yet to meet a man who doesn't like some form of porn.
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The good rope is nylon and braided. I can't get enough!
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And yes Ladies, if you are extremely lucky he will 'accidently' hang himself with the rope. lol
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If the mans asian the list gets much much shorter Xbox 360, PS3, or Wii nuff said I'm not even Asian and that list would work well for me.....lmao |
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Edited by
whatssuup
on
Sat 08/01/09 10:07 PM
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If the mans asian the list gets much much shorter Xbox 360, PS3, or Wii nuff said I'm not even Asian and that list would work well for me.....lmao Agreed. lol |
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If the mans asian the list gets much much shorter Xbox 360, PS3, or Wii nuff said I'm not even Asian and that list would work well for me.....lmao ditto 
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Gifts for men: I always take a look at their interests/hobbies and then buy a gift based on that. I never buy a man tools or equipment. Example: If he is interested in photography a piece of photo equipment or even a great book about photography would be a good choice. |
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