Blonde Jokes

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde drivers license. She dug through her purse and was getting
progressively more agitated.

"What does it look like?" she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying,
"OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

The Thermos

A blond was shopping at K-Mart and came across a shiny silver thermos.

She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it over to the clerk
to ask what it was.

The clerk said, "why, that's a thermos.... it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

"Wow," said the blond, "that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!"

So she took the thermos and took it to work the next day.

Her boss, who is also blond, saw it on her desk."What's that?" he asked.

"Why, that's a thermos... it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied.

"What do you have in it?" asked the boss,
"Two popsicles and some coffee"


Fix The Dents

A blonde was driving home after work, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm.

Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop.

The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.

He told her to just go home and blow into the tailpipe really hard,

and all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing
into her car's tailpipe. Nothing happened.

She blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.

Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said,

"What are you doing?"

The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her

to blow into the tailpipe in order to get the dents to pop out.

Her roommate rolled her eyes and said,

..."HELLLLOOOO!!!

You need to roll up the windows."


Milk Bath

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. So she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons so he knocked
on her door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said,
"I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?"

The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk
and take a milk bath."

The milkman asked, "Do you want it Pasteurized?"

The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs, I can splash it in my eyes."



Blonde Painting the House

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all

these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid,

so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are

smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is

going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets

down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and

smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living

room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.

He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at

the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks

what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him

that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by

painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket

over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the

directions on the paint can and they said....

FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.



oh too funny!

Blonde Jokes

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde drivers license. She dug through her purse and was getting
progressively more agitated.

"What does it look like?" she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying,
"OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

The Thermos

A blond was shopping at K-Mart and came across a shiny silver thermos.

She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it over to the clerk
to ask what it was.

The clerk said, "why, that's a thermos.... it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

"Wow," said the blond, "that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!"

So she took the thermos and took it to work the next day.

Her boss, who is also blond, saw it on her desk."What's that?" he asked.

"Why, that's a thermos... it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied.

"What do you have in it?" asked the boss,
"Two popsicles and some coffee"


Fix The Dents

A blonde was driving home after work, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm.

Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop.

The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.

He told her to just go home and blow into the tailpipe really hard,

and all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing
into her car's tailpipe. Nothing happened.

She blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.

Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said,

"What are you doing?"

The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her

to blow into the tailpipe in order to get the dents to pop out.

Her roommate rolled her eyes and said,

..."HELLLLOOOO!!!

You need to roll up the windows."


Milk Bath

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. So she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons so he knocked
on her door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said,
"I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?"

The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk
and take a milk bath."

The milkman asked, "Do you want it Pasteurized?"

The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs, I can splash it in my eyes."



Blonde Painting the House

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all

these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid,

so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are

smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is

going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets

down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and

smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living

room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.

He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at

the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks

what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him

that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by

painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket

over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the

directions on the paint can and they said....

FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

Id comment, but I couldnt read the big words.

thats a hilarious comeback considering you being blond and all. lol, great way to take a joke and make it that much more funny!! youre awesome for that. i prob laughed harder seeing this than reading the jokes!

What did that say?

Ahh, my son and I are silly blondes, we laugh at little things, and get distracted by bugs. Were oblivious. but thanks. Yeah, graduated high school at 14, and have always been an achiever, my sons absoloutely brilliant. I usually date highly intelligent men.

Blonde jokes are just whatever, maybe its cos blondes can stand out, ive heard red head jokes too, like in south park they say the "gingers" (red haired kids) have no souls. thats funny!

How do you keep a man from drowning?

Take your foot off his head...

How's that?