why is there this weird stigma about being in a relationship? i have only a problem with one aspect and that is INDEPENDENCE (and i know what that means). and i think this (social) concept is as stupid as people talking about their swagger (a word no one cared about until MIA).

why does engaging in a loving relationship a threat to your independence? dont you think that you can be independent in a relationship? or do you think that the dependence upon another person is simply an act of unbiased trust? that you love someone so much that you would be willing to give of yourself?!?!

personally, i find this big parade of flaunting one's independence a total lack of charity. the entire concept reeks of self-centered-ness and lack of foresight.

do you think that you and all your holy and sacred independence could single-handedly raise a child? i would say not.

all i am saying is that i hate the TV and the radio. people of my mental stature and those of our past have been raising the doctors and lawyers and paying the bills for eons now, and this is me telling you that in order to be truly happy and successful you must give of yourself and bite the bullet from time to time.

thank you. now, i expect to be nailed to the cross.

Naaaaa...it wasn't that bad. But I will say that independence is a valid issue for most long-time single people. But it's generally an "issue" meaning they need to work it out and be willing to give some of that up if they are going to be in a relationship. The opposite end of the spectrum is super-needy and that's bad too. Balance! It's all about balance!

someone should start an advertising campaign for balance. i think that we would all be able to benefit from that.

'balance' its whats for dinner.

Hilarious...but so true!

that was so great man

thanks! i hate tv and radio!

saying that you are independant is just an excuse for not being able to get a date.

Ha Ha! I know what you mean. When I use it, I'm just saying that I know how to take care of myself. I haven't been on a date in 6 years! It's not that I rejected men; it's because I haven't found anyone that made me happy. I know if I jumped in a relationship just because, I would feel trapped. So, I think it is necessary to find myself before I share it with someone else. I may be looked at as an Independent Woman, but I sure don't want to stay like that forever. We do need balance. Good post.

man. no one is pissed off at me. either that or they are just too bored to respond. i was expecting a lot of negative feedback. but so far i have a couple dancing bananas.

maybe next time i should just un-articulate it and make it look like a blind guy with one hand a 3 fingers typed it out.

Fine...if it will make you happy:

You big jerk! How dare you insulte independent types! Really!

(Feel better now? )

actually, yeah. i do! thanks!

I've got your back!

A person only truly feels independent if they don't mind being alone

Who are these independant people who cant give of themselves?

I am a single parent, and I am independant, and have been in relationships.

My parenting, or independance, have nothing to do with my relationships, or my child.

The only way I could see my independance being an issue for someone in a relationship, was if they were controlling, or demanding. If someone wants me to depend on them, thats wierd to me for the most part, unless its a offer If things are dire for me financialy or something.

I dont need codependancy.

And, I dont mind if someone needs me, but they should be dependant on themseves. I dont need someone to complete me, or make me whole, and I dont want someone else looking for that.

In my belief you should come correct, and take care of your own needs.

A mate, I believe should compliment you, not be there to fulfil your needs.

To make oneanother happy, to love, and enjoy eachother.

if you went through my family and tore all of my aunts and uncles and my father and mother apart, they would all die. because they need each other. and that need transcends petty monetary things.

your post adds light to my post, and i thank you for it. but that is LOVE. LOVE is not independent.

i am not nor will i ever be truly independent. because even if i have a job and am totally on my own i will be bored and lonely. and part of independence, as mirror stated, is being totally alone. thats not something i want.

if you claim to want love, true love, in your life. say goodbye to independence.

I'd say good-bye to it as soon as Sean Connery becomes young and sexy again. He'll be all mine! J/K But I do love Sean Connery though.

lol. such a ladies man. im sure he had his fun with that accent back in the day.

So true.

you are speaking of people being dependent upon each other - the example you gave with your family, they need each other and are dependent upon each other, emotionally or otherwise. this does not mean they can not be independent individuals. an independent individual is not emotionally void, and are capable of caring for and relying on others - however, they can also stand on their own. i don't think anyone can claim to be completely independent, and it's the degree of wanting to share your life with someone else, not lose your independence, that is love.