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| Topic: sick of hearing this | |
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Edited by
earthytaurus76
on
Tue 06/02/09 08:08 PM
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why is there this weird stigma about being in a relationship? i have only a problem with one aspect and that is INDEPENDENCE (and i know what that means). and i think this (social) concept is as stupid as people talking about their swagger (a word no one cared about until MIA). why does engaging in a loving relationship a threat to your independence? dont you think that you can be independent in a relationship? or do you think that the dependence upon another person is simply an act of unbiased trust? that you love someone so much that you would be willing to give of yourself?!?!  
personally, i find this big parade of flaunting one's independence a total lack of charity. the entire concept reeks of self-centered-ness and lack of foresight. do you think that you and all your holy and sacred independence could single-handedly raise a child? i would say not. all i am saying is that i hate the TV and the radio. people of my mental stature and those of our past have been raising the doctors and lawyers and paying the bills for eons now, and this is me telling you that in order to be truly happy and successful you must give of yourself and bite the bullet from time to time. thank you. now, i expect to be nailed to the cross. Who are these independant people who cant give of themselves? I am a single parent, and I am independant, and have been in relationships. My parenting, or independance, have nothing to do with my relationships, or my child. The only way I could see my independance being an issue for someone in a relationship, was if they were controlling, or demanding. If someone wants me to depend on them, thats wierd to me for the most part, unless its a offer If things are dire for me financialy or something. I dont need codependancy. And, I dont mind if someone needs me, but they should be dependant on themseves. I dont need someone to complete me, or make me whole, and I dont want someone else looking for that. In my belief you should come correct, and take care of your own needs. A mate, I believe should compliment you, not be there to fulfil your needs. To make oneanother happy, to love, and enjoy eachother. if you went through my family and tore all of my aunts and uncles and my father and mother apart, they would all die. because they need each other. and that need transcends petty monetary things. your post adds light to my post, and i thank you for it. but that is LOVE. LOVE is not independent. i am not nor will i ever be truly independent. because even if i have a job and am totally on my own i will be bored and lonely. and part of independence, as mirror stated, is being totally alone. thats not something i want. if you claim to want love, true love, in your life. say goodbye to independence. Yeah, sorry about your luck with your family, sounds LIKE codependance. I refuse to be with someone else if I could not have my independance. A relationship itself, NO doesnt lack another. HOWEVER, in healthy relationships, there should be parts of your life that ARE independant of others. My hair apointments.. independant of you and anybody else I am in a love relationship with, my shopping, my time spent with friends, time spent with family. My nails apointments, my work, my coffee time, my alone time, my listening to music time, my time spent with my son,.. a million things. In all honesty, the majority of my time is spent, independantly, with my own money, etc, and that has nothing to do with my man, and Ive never had a man have a problem with that. People need theyre own lives, and everyone should have one. |
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my luck with my family? OMG i couldnt ask for a better family. i love my family with all my bleeding heart. and that is codependency.
and if codependency within a family has become a bad thing, then man... what a sad sad sad world we live in. thats what family is about. just goes to show how far our society has fallen. |
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Edited by
Atlantis75
on
Tue 06/02/09 08:15 PM
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why is there this weird stigma about being in a relationship? i have only a problem with one aspect and that is INDEPENDENCE (and i know what that means). and i think this (social) concept is as stupid as people talking about their swagger (a word no one cared about until MIA). why does engaging in a loving relationship a threat to your independence? dont you think that you can be independent in a relationship? or do you think that the dependence upon another person is simply an act of unbiased trust? that you love someone so much that you would be willing to give of yourself?!?!
It's the reason I'm single, or partially why... I treat the other with the respect of her own time and space, whatever she does, in exchange of having my own independent time and space and her respect of that. So far, unfortunately it has turned into comments and notes of I am "not loving enough" or "you don't care about me", eventually breaking up for this reason. I don't care. If someone thinks I should be hanging in her neck 24/7 and parroting "I Love you " ever hour like a clock-cuckoo-bird, I'm sorry, I'm am not going to be compatible with you. |
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This guy I was seeing was calling me every day every day, and gushing, and overwhelming me, I just got rid of him. I cant take that crap.
GET A LIFEEE!!!!! |
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Edited by
Atlantis75
on
Tue 06/02/09 08:20 PM
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This guy I was seeing was calling me every day every day, and gushing, and overwhelming me, I just got rid of him. I cant take that crap. GET A LIFEEE!!!!! Sounds more like an obsession. He was obsessed, there is a difference between that and love. |
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This guy I was seeing was calling me every day every day, and gushing, and overwhelming me, I just got rid of him. I cant take that crap. GET A LIFEEE!!!!! Sounds more like an obsession. He was obsessed, there is a difference between that and love. Agreed. |
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http://psychcentral.com/library/id63.html Check it. |
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Edited by
suncandy25
on
Tue 06/02/09 08:33 PM
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I couldn't have said it better myself. |
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