maybe his doors swings both ways

lol...nope...not possible

Find yourself something you are good at and really like doing and dig into it. The self esteem thing will come.

thank you..
i will try to do that :)

Amazing!

Ive never heard a woman admit something like that.. I have always been turned off by pretty boys, and muscle dudes, and the party type, and gone for more intellectual, not so into theyre looks less than perfect, extra pounds kind of guys myself.. They just always seem more real.

Those first kind of guys mentioned seem so fem to me, and into themselves, and theyre "perfect" friends.. I enjoy being around people who more admit life is not a dream all the time, and admit they are more... I dunno.. real?

Not to say that all great looking people are shallow, just that.. I dunno, its hard to describe, but when you said that I really related to the feeling..

For me, i never felt those guys were superior, or too good looking,.. I just think my sights on whats important to me were different than those GQ guys.

AND alot of times, I find that people with a billion "friends" that they are in touch with on a regular.. dont seem to function well without the pack.

If u feel something in your gut feels uncomfortabe, experiment with all different kinds of people. Takes a while to find people who you will totally relate to, or can trust, but, theyre out there.

Thanks for being honest.

usually i date the same kind of guys..
the more "nerdy" type..
i mean when i first met my ex..
i didnt think a guy like that could ever be into me..
im so shy and awkward around guys!!!!
so i was surprised when i found out he was interested in me..
i just dont think it was a good idea.

dating someone that feels like theyre "out of your league"
didnt work out for me :/
especially because i have crazy self esteem issues

You are your own worst critic. You seriously need to quit the inner dialogue that tells you you aren't pretty enough, smart enough, good enough, etc. And yes, it's THAT easy.

Anytime you start thinking along the lines, STOP. Just stop it immediately. Why beat yourself up? The world will do it for you. You don't need to be your own enemy.

Anytime that negative inner voices comes into play, cancel it with something positive. Say to yourself, "Yes, I am pretty" or "I have beautiful eyes (or lips, legs, whatever fits)." You've got to start singing your own praises to yourself. Take a long look in the mirror and see what you LIKE about yourself. Make a list of all the good things you've done, the things that make you unique, the good things people say about you.

Your boyfriend obviously saw these wonderful things in you and you let him get away. You might try reconnecting with him, explaining how you felt, and asking him to help you think more positively about yourself. You only hurt yourself with the negativity, so why do that to yourself?

if the chemistry is not there then it's just not there

don't be guilt trippin and put yourself in a position

as for him guys want what they can't have. the more you back away from him the more desirable you'll become (until you quit backing away)

just live your life. don't sweat sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff

After a few of your posts, let me reiterate. You have low self-esteem, this is evident by you pointing it out...a relationship cannot and will not work with that thought process, if you don't see yourself as worthwhile why is anyone else going too? As much as I may disagree with Motown a lot in several places in the forum, I do not disagree here. You need to find something you absolutely love to do, beit simple or complex, and you need to work on it as much as you can to be better at it, whatever it may be.

Find your niche, hobby, or favorite pastime. Work on you, and only you right now...you cannot support a relationship at this time, a lot like me.

Hey shmee, Howsigoin?

I think you must be getting the gist of what people are trying to tell you here. Take it from me, been in you position and the best advise I ever got I'll pass on to you. Stinkin Thinkin, its not good for ya baby, it will destroy all your hopes and dreams, all your ambitions and inevitibly you.

I looked at your profile, hey don't you worry gurl, you got it goin on. I'd like to see you take some of the advice that this forum has given you and see what beautiful things happen for you in the future. I'm sure that your wit and artistry will be your mark in life. Just give yourself a break, love yourself starting today ...OK?

still screamin gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh all over it

Let it go.

IMHO the whole baloney about having low self esteem is just a bunch of psycho-babble that a lot of people have fallen into because it is the in vogue catch all for peoples problems.

I don't know either of the parties involved but sounds to me like you did the right thing dumping a guy who

1) Sounds overly focused on himself and his identity as the Pretty one. I don't think your instincts about his self view would be so negative if it didn't have some basis in fact.

2) Appears to have very shallow values if in fact he surrounds himself with only beautiful people. That just isn't statisticly likely naturally. If you pick people for their personality and values just stands to reason some are going to rather ordinary looking.

3) Must be pretty dominering if you consistently felt you had to squash your (happy) goofy personality to be around him from the start.

4) Sounds like a real creep to be hitting up your friends to betray your confidences. I credit your friends for telling you but a real freind would tell the guy nothing and to get lost. That they even brought this "news" to you makes me wonder why they were being friendly so fast.

5) Sounds like he has some real image issues of his own if he is going around to your friends trying to make you the social outcast for dumping dear darling him for no reason. That is damage control.

6) Sounds like a pig, or actually is gay also, hitting on your friends immediately. Straight Guys that can have anyone don't have to go after your friends for validation.

7)Sounds like a dramatic control freak that can't take no for an answer. If this behavior continues, document it, and get a restraining order. A guy does not have to be ugly to be dangerous.

All in all I really think you should give yourself pat on the back. Instinctively you gave this guy the heave-hoe when you really hadn't formalized why you didn't like him. The people who have real problems to worry about are the ones who hang onto a relationship that just doesn't "feel right" for some neuroti need to have someone.

You sound like and empathetic person who doesn't want to hurt peoples feelings for and undefined lack of chemistry but you are not obligated to continue to date someone who you don't like.

I would take a little more time on who you call your boyfriend in the future until you know for sure how you feel about them. Dateing is a process of getting to know people and it is not and overnight thing that requires and instant commitment even if the "Chemistry" os good in the beginning for one or both sides.

Good Luck. Go out and be yourself and if someone comes along that likes you for you and vice versa have fun with it.

You do NOT need to "punish" yourself and have some public mourning period for breaking off a relationship that was not working for you.