you can either allow the changes to be random responses

or you can control the changes to become what you want to be

I can mature and learn more, but I am the same person inside, that was taught to me at a young age, I can change my clothe style, hair style, friends, everything but I am still me on the inside.

in that case I would say that all your changes will be random response and you're just along for the ride

the only thing that goes with the flow is dead fish

You set up those parameters yourself. They are imaginary walls you put up in your head.

You can grow and change but you will ALWAYS be the person that your parents trained you to be. Good or Bad.

If you chose to believe that, it's your own demise. I'm sorry.

nahhhh thats not true

thats only a copout excuse to keep from taking control of your own life and behavior

I have to disagree with that. I think it's more of people like to live in the past. So they will blame that is why they are the way they are today.

I've reinvented myself several times throughout the course of my life. You're wrong or perhaps more accurately, you're confused.

You will always carry the core values your parents instilled in you. That is their legacy to you. However, you are always free to reinvent yourself. In some cases, hopefully most, these changes are known as personal growth...

I am very proud of the man I am today, I am not coping out and I am not making excuses. I believe in my heart that there are good people out there and if a friend needs help I will be the first one there to help, that is how it is around me and my friends. I don't understand why everyone else thinks that treating people right and with respect isn't right. I respect my parents enough to still use the virtues that was taught to me at a young age and I will teach my daughter the same virtues. Where has society gone wrong? Is it wrong to treat people with respect? Do you have to close your eyes to people who need help? I started this post because society looks at your appearance and if you aren't perfect then you are kicked to the curb. I am a good man and I am proud that I believe in helping my fellow man. I don't understand why I am told my parents taught me wrong. Please someone explain this to me!!!!! You can change things you like but you will always be that little boy or girl inside that was told you need to treat you elders and everyone else like you would want to be treated. I can't believe I came under attack for my beliefs......

You can change and adapt to what the world is throwing at you, but I am proud to say I am not the type that wants to be negative, hurtful, not caring. You can reinvent yourself but you still have the virtues...

Wah wah wah... Who is attacking you? You are being engaged in discussion. If you don't like the answers then don't ask the question!!

We've seen this question asked before many many many many many times. What it comes down to is that you are being whiny.

Sorry to be blunt, but there it is. Find someone who will appreciate you and quit whining. People have a hard time believing someone else is virtuous just because they say they are. It is double tough when the self proclaimed virtuous man is a whiner.

No explanation needed. Enjoy life and don't worry about the women! One will come along!

Just don't drink milk at a bar. It seems like a turn off for women! lol

Order a glass of orange juice instead

unless its a white russian

Anytime some pulls the "Why can't people see me for who I am?" BS, it's a sign that they're not looking inside. The common denominator in all these rejections is YOU. It could be that you're going after the wrong women, or portraying yourself badly, or saying something creepy or awkward in your opening messages. But the common thread in all these instances is you. You are the one who controls your own behavior, and yours is the ONLY behavior you can control. So if you're having trouble, you're better off looking at the way you're representing yourself to others and who you're approaching, and seeing what you can change.



I don't look for perfect, I look for someone to whom I might feel some attraction. A relationship without physical attraction wouldn't be much of a relationship, no? Everyone deserves to date someone who thinks they're totally hot, and if I know I will never think someone is the hottest thing ever to me, then it's only fair to HIM that I let him find someone who will. Likewise, I have no interest in dating someone who isn't going to think I'm totally hot. Attraction is important.



What you are "under attack" for is the way you portray yourself, which comes off as very whiny. From what I've read, you also seem very resistant to the idea that people can grow and change.

Look, being a good guy should be a default. It means you're not actively evil, and that buys you nothing. Are you interesting, assertive, communicative? Do you have passions and hobbies? If not, then work on that BEFORE you seek someone else out, or you have very little to offer that a potential partner couldn't find elsewhere.

^^^^^^^^to much to quote, well said!!!

Now that I have to remember. Good one

im good. and i do finish last......every time

Instead of changing himself for the world, he would rather the world change itself for him.


Epitomy of Lazy.

Perfect is very subjective to many people. Who I find to be hot and sexy may not be of any interest to my fellow girlie friends on Mingle.

It seems every woman thinks Hugh Jackman and Russell Crowe are the hottest guys in hollywood and I think they are FUGLY!

On my side of the sexual meter, Marilyn Manson, Josh Todd (Buck Cherry), and James Michael (Sixx A.M.) are amazingly hot, gorgeous and ooooh so purrrfect! I know not many women will agree with me.

My point is .... what is hot? Depends on who you ask.

You just have to meet someone who thinks you are the cat's meow and don't worry about anyone else!

As far as feeling attacked? This is a public forum in which you chose to vent. No one is attacking you but we are offering our opinions and advice as freely as you are replying.

Hmmmm really.