"Men and women are not free to love decently until they have
analysed themselves completely and swept away every mystery from sex."





We were taught at an early age and all that 'proper' sex was reserved for those who loved each other... got married... and had children...correct?? Thus sex, love, marriage and children were practically sold as a 'complete package' that could not... and should not be separated. That being said.. any other type of sex would be.. and was considered deviant and would lead to unfortunate consequences such as ... bastard children.. disease.. perversion and even death to some... These negative things about sex never made it seem like fun much less an intimate loving activity... The few interesting things we knew about sex growing up as tweens and teens we gleaned in whispers from our friends and such... or from glances at our hidden copy(ies) of adult magazines...



Right or Wrong???

To the Original Poster: I think what you say about love and sex is valid. However, the messages have always been mixed up. "proper sex" as you stated was supposed to be achieved when we waited and got married and were ready to have children. Is that proper sex or is that proper love? or is that a mutually respectful situation where a healthy sexual relationship can safely be explored where consequences can be more easily predicted and their outcomes mutually handled?

There are arguments for both sides. The people who wait...and the people who don't. Personally I don't see the point of waiting.

Sex should never be wrapped up in mystery. It shouldn't be confused with sin. It shouldn't be judged or used as any sort of currency. It should be enjoyed. It's primal. It's healthy. It's human.

Love. That can be spiritual. It's healthy. It's bonding. It's mysterious. It's unique. Expressive. Almost akin to an art. It can be subtle. It has a currency. It has value and should be treasured and not wasted and not confused with sex.

So that's my view points on your subject, for what my opinion is worth...which is about nothing. Because what is valid for me is not valid for another person... and so I'm just talking to talk.

Well off my soapbox.

Sorry if I bored anyone.

I remember hearing the words "French kissing" at school and not knowing what it meant so I go home and ask my Mother. She said (I kid you not) "that is what French people do" and proceeded to demonstrate by kissing me on the cheek and having me kiss her cheek simultaneously!

i was not raised this way... NOT that I was told to be promiscuous or anything, i was just taught that "natrual" things were not taboo... my parents did not lie, or embellish - they just made me realize there are consequences to actions... so i am naturally more open and curious and don't have 'hangups' when it comes to sex... it's natural, and if it's mutually concentual... wtf is wrong with having some fun!! besides, sexual intimacy and variety (within the monogamous relationship) is/can be an important compnent of a relationship, i think that you should not "feel bad" or be "embarassed" about what you like... it's a part of who you are! (nope, not gonna share my fetish with the board, but many people have them, and imho, should embrace and enjoy them)....

Sex and Love.... So different from each other... but if they are in the same relationship... everything is SO much better. However it is not necessarily a must.

Oh safety is a must! I'm not saying that sexuality should be something that we should cheapen by going with anyone simply for the sake of the freedom of it, however I don't think it's a marriage only thing.