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| Topic: Being a lesbian can suck | |
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very well written girl
 
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very well written girl Thank You :] |
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very well written girl Thank You :]  
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Car, I cannot pretend to have any idea about what you are going through. Honestly. But... I know what it feels like to have a father that looks at you with dissapproving eyes, and thoughts. As an older dude whose parents had sticks up their butts (straight-laced as hell), I just need to say this: Weigh your words carefully. The anger you're feeling today can and will slam the door shut on the future, and it will be hard to get that door to reopen. I know that you're hurting, it shows in your words. My suggestion is to sit down, and write out something to your father from your point of view that doesn't hold a sword behind your words. It will be hard, that I DO know. Been there.. This might sound lame, but tone it down as much as possible, and let the hurt that you feel show more than the anger you feel. I say this because of one thing I have learned in my 44 years. As soon as you (or your words) make someone start to get angry, they tend to shut off their ears, and start up their mouth. Human nature. If you were to write this all down, you could get your point out there, and there'd be no chance for immediate rebuttal. See where I'm going? Best wishes to ya, Car. I gotta go along with this. I've burned a bridge or two in my life by lashing out in anger rather than from the hurt I was actually feeling and regret it to this day. I can feel your frustration and pain and I do wish you the best.
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I gotta go along with this. I've burned a bridge or two in my life by lashing out in anger rather than from the hurt I was actually feeling and regret it to this day. I can feel your frustration and pain and I do wish you the best. Thank You |
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Ya know the reality of it all as long as you live at home you will stay under that microscope that you're under. Not saying that it will make a big difference when you move out but it will become easier as time goes on for you and your dad. Once he sees that you are on your own and really making a difference within your life then maybe he will be able to start to deal with your lifestyle as well.
It is tough but we were raised totally different then our kids our parents did not see the same things and society did not accept what it does now days therefore our parents passed down to us what was accepted within their time. This will not be all about Dad changing as well for he will not change over night. What ever you do or write to him take out the words of hate and replace them with words of love. In the end you will be thankful you did for you both are going to have to make that effort in bridging the gap.....JMO Your dad was raised old school it is not easy to change the way we were raised but it is even harder if words of hate are thrown our way. I guess since I'm around your parents age I'm speaking for their generation and the way we were raised. Just that some of our families were not as strict on the old ways and looked at life as it was changing and tried to accept the changes instead of fight them. |
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Ya know the reality of it all as long as you live at home you will stay under that microscope that you're under. Not saying that it will make a big difference when you move out but it will become easier as time goes on for you and your dad. Once he sees that you are on your own and really making a difference within your life then maybe he will be able to start to deal with your lifestyle as well. It is tough but we were raised totally different then our kids our parents did not see the same things and society did not accept what it does now days therefore our parents passed down to them what was accepted within their time. This will not be all about Dad changing as well for he will not change over night. What ever you do or write to him take out the words of hate and replace them with words of love. In the end you will be thankful you did for you both are going to have to make that effort in bridging the gap.....JMO Your dad was raised old school it is not easy to change the way we were raised but it is even harder if words of hate are thrown our way. I know where he comes from, but all his words of anger and hate have made me take this path. I do plan to edit this before I give it to him, but kind words do nothing to him. |
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I know where he comes from, but all his words of anger and hate have made me take this path. I do plan to edit this before I give it to him, but kind words do nothing to him. But it is not about what it does for him but what it does for you. You see the saying we are our parents ring truer more then anyone really knows. Only we can change our path so we don't end up with the same harshness towards our kids and change the things they taught us in order for us to be better in life. It is within your power not to follow those same footsteps and make a difference. |
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i sooooooooooo luv 'agony' forums
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You can let him know how you feel but you can't let his opinion of the life you chose affect you anymore. You can't put things to rest for him but you can move on for yourself from this point. This sounds like a great start.
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i sooooooooooo luv 'agony' forums Be nice now or I will have to send you to your corner....hehehe |
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i sooooooooooo luv 'agony' forums Be nice now or I will have to send you to your corner....hehehe   world renowned for 'being nice'
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Edited by
gayfifer
on
Mon 05/11/09 02:56 PM
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Sexuality and who your attracted to does not make you different, worse or better, it as nothing to do with who you are inside.
A good person will be a good person no matter their sexuality. It's the same as with race gender or age, when will people wake up and admit we are all humans in the end so we are all the same. |
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dammit i will not be a good person, i wont i tell ya!
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one thing people need to understand...(and Im not trying to be harsh, just truthful) In your life you have the right to be whoever you want to be...but you can't make others like it...making others like it would infringe upon their rights.
...this is often overlooked I try not to judge anyone and have friends from all walks of life. But, all people aren't like me. I learned early on not to care to much what others think...tooo many people to please. |
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one thing people need to understand...(and Im not trying to be harsh, just truthful) In your life you have the right to be whoever you want to be...but you can't make others like it...making others like it would infringe upon their rights. ...this is often overlooked I try not to judge anyone and have friends from all walks of life. But, all people aren't like me. I learned early on not to care to much what others think...tooo many people to please. I think I get what you're trying to say. However it's not like I WANTED to be lesbian. It was God's choice and it's my genes. But I love being me :] |
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That letter is way too long. Just tell him that you like girls for the same reason he likes girls. Tell him you don't like boys the same reason he doesn't like boys. Of course, this would backfire if he is closet gay himself. HAH i shouldn't laugh.. but i am. Konstantine, good luck and i hope all goes well. just know you're not alone on that front. shoot. |
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That letter is way too long. Just tell him that you like girls for the same reason he likes girls. Tell him you don't like boys the same reason he doesn't like boys. Of course, this would backfire if he is closet gay himself. HAH i shouldn't laugh.. but i am. Konstantine, good luck and i hope all goes well. just know you're not alone on that front. shoot. It would be funny if my dad didn't mean a thing to me. thanks :] |
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I'm not lesbian, but I am differeent than the rest of my family..( I dont fit the "normal" gender roles, I am anti money, anti goverment anti rules and pro moral pro integrity)....I can relate totally to what you're going thru.. Its good your telling them about how you feel... cause believe me if you don't they never get it..I didn't ever make a chance to talk to my dad until he got sick.I moved in with him to take care of him. We made up as much as we could in the three months before he died.. It wasn't enough for missing 46 years.. but at least we had that.. my thoughts and prayers will be with you both..
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