What I have learned is that cars, houses, jewellery doesnt make one happy. Money does help you to do things. We all need money. If I didnt have some sort of money I wouldnt be able to travel. Without love from family, friends or a significant other.......that is painful.

I suppose if anyone's life gets too sucky they could always trade with me

of course that would require quitting work and being too sick to do things like household chores

and they would have to drive an hour to and an hour from dialysis treatments every Monday Wed and Friday. The hospital visits are kinda fun though. being sedated is cool



I went through the depression phase of the illness for awhile. But depression and self pity are just no fun. so instead I find things (and people) to laugh at instead. Its a mindset. You can fight it with just a decision to be happier

Having such a sweet and cute girlfriend must help too huh?

Im thinking voodoo may help!!!

i am yet again humbled, and i'll do my very best when you ask. life and happiness i don't take lightly, for it is the life's food for your soul, of which at childhood i believe never existed, but have been fortunate to be introduced. there is no manual here, but only us to reflect to each other with trial and error and kick ourselves back into play so to speak, but the law of pain or not pain is constant, and we just have to figure out what that maybe for you.

F&L? This thread makes me sad...and much of what darkowl1 said is exactly right. Nothing external can make you really happy. It's something you find within. I know that I value the interaction we have in the forums - I look for your posts, actually. That's all I've got to base an opinion on but whatever you are seeking, in whatever lifestyle you choose -

I wish you nothing but happiness!

Don't be sad, it really is just an attempt to look at things from another point of view. I'm at a crossroad and am seeking enlightenment to help the rest of my trip through life be more pleasurable and centered.

Thank you for your wishes (((galendgirl))), I too look for you in the forum, usually find you in the Lex worship thread...but either way.

Different points of view are always good...
Just remember the internal thing. I spent most of my life trying to please others and thought I was pretty happy. Stopped that BS and now I really am! Doesn't mean life can't serve up big steaming piles of horrible crap - that's just part of the journey.

Hugs, babe!

Life is just that! LIFE. Take any other species and look at their life. Nothing but work, feeding babies, dying.

when someone realizes they can't get what they want, but what they have is more than some others. If you look at where you are on life's ladder, you might be a few rungs higher (keep looking up because there's always someone else waiting for you to slip) so keep your hands clean and your feet on the proper rung.

thanks galendgirl

Life gets better when yer dead and reduced to dust.

I think sheer survival is inherently dependent upon how much one can successfully delude oneself into believing absolute nonsense.

Is happy the nonsensical part? If so, I'm clearly delusional and destined to live a long, long time.

I dunno if you're going through the same thing as me. Sounds a lot like it. Had to quit getting high, although you say you still do, "rarely". I had to quit altogether and suddenly and dump a lot of my "friends" who were keeping me high or holding me back in one way or another.

Yeah, I was living a life I thought I wanted to live, and rarely experienced a down moment. Now that these friends and acquiaintences are gone and my family disowned me (temporarily), it got real miserable real quick.

But in the past few weeks I have strived towards keeping myself clean, remotivating myself to do SOMETHING/ANYTHING to keep myself busy and improve my quality of life and be a better person in general than a useless pot/coke head, and rebuilding my social network with people of higher calibur.

So essentially I'm trying to be a better person in the eyes of the general population, no matter how nonconformist I thought I was. In doing so I have met a hell of a lot of people a hell of a lot better than the people I knew previously. I don't worry about trying to impress them or anything. I just introduce myself and let them know what I'm going through to a certain extent, still keeping some things hidden.

But in meeting all these folks and all the other actions I'm undertaking, things are actually getting better. I'm just concerned with making myself a better person. Once I am, all these other people will start coming around and a better life will start coming around.

Trust me, I have a pretty good idea what you're going through. It really is a roller coaster ride. I spent a while down in the dumps. But things will steady out.

Hugs to you too, then EX4Sheezy!

happiness comes from within. to enhance happiness is to become more aware of your own self-worth, your inner beauty and the value of those around you.

it is helpful to meet and interact with other thoughtful, kind, clean, aware people for fun and frolicking. becoming yourself kind, thoughtful, clean and aware. substances are an escape to the fantasy dimension. nothing is there but neglect and procrastination ultimately. in that world, nothing is real but the emptiness and a life filled with drugs becomes a hollow shell.

fill yourself instead with valuable experiences, interesting people, appreciation for the good times - here - and in "external real life". the more you appreciate life and others, the more you will find you are appreciating yourself and this life we lead.

caring and being cared for - is what it's all about.

hey it got better for Hugh Hefner,look at all the chicks he has living in his mansion

It gets better when we stop and realize we're the cause, and do something about it. Get off the pity pot. Someone else needs to take an emotional sh*t.

For me what i've come to realize is that as we age there are still so many changes in life. Life is about change and adjusting. Just remember you aren't the only one whom goes through this. We all do one way or another. I've felt simular to what you are feeling when i had the sense of not having a purpose. Perhaps you need to find your purpose? Now at the time i didn't realize that this was the problem till a new purpose came to be. Also I struggled looking for a new job<full time> that still hasn't happened but guess what? I respect my job more now since everyone is loosing their jobs. I found a way to supliment my income. I got a roommate for one, I dreaded that thought cause it was a big change at my age. However I like that I have a roommate now its not so lonely here and too the bills are getting paid. As far as the purpose thing.. I was a mother that needed to teach her 3 children to be able to survive on their own, when that was over I felt i had no purpose. I would still like to have more purpose but I do have a grandchild on the way that needs to learn Gramma. I know there is no bigger purpose than raising your own children perhaps now i need to suppliment my purpose? Can you go to counseling? Is that an option? cause that really makes you think and to help find yourself..Finding yourself is important, when you are on drugs that is avoiding finding yourself.<speaking from past experience> and it was a funny thing at first when i quit.. i never had to leave my old friends at all.. i still came around, but because i choose not to do drugs they quit coming around me. In fact i came to the conculusion if i didnt have a bong hit for them, or I didnt have the need to buy a bag of weed off them, i no longer had a puropse to be around them... fine.. they werent my friends in the first place. Since then I have found a handful of friends that will be there for the rest of my life. and that im thankful for and wouldnt change it for a thing. See in the end there was purpose! i found lifelong friends and not just using backstabbing so called friends. it took time to realize all this..