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Topic: Does it take awhile for a guy to know if he's really interes
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Fri 05/08/09 02:00 PM
Or do most know right away? I've always heard that most guys know fairly quickly if they want to keep seeing a woman or not.

I've just been getting very mixed signals from a guy that I started seeing. We've seen each other a total of 4 times now. Not really dates, just hanging out and talking. We text every day (which I HATE, as I would rather talk on the phone), and he says that he is looking for a real, rest of his life, type of relationship.

We live in the same town, so it would be very easy to get together more often, if he wanted to. So, I am thinking that maybe he doesn't want to. But then why does he keep contacting me?

Could use some insight.....

MirrorMirror's photo
Fri 05/08/09 02:05 PM
happy Most guys are interested before they even meet a womanlaugh

beauty314's photo
Fri 05/08/09 02:13 PM
When in doubt play harder to get...smokin

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Fri 05/08/09 02:15 PM
You should be asking him these questions and not us! All your are going to get here is a speculation, and assumptions.

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Fri 05/08/09 02:16 PM
Am trying.

JrakaBigred's photo
Fri 05/08/09 02:19 PM
You should be able to tell by the touch and the feeling he gives you when you are around

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Fri 05/08/09 02:19 PM
I guess I just feel if I ask him this so early in the game, he's going to immediately think I am needy, and totally back off.

I am just looking for a little clue into how the male psyche works.

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Fri 05/08/09 02:19 PM
Can only say from my experience but for me it is not right away it takes long conversation to really know someone. I might be attracted and interested enough to pursue the relation but to know if she might be the one(or should i say maybe the one) it takes more than simple dates and text messages.

Long honest truthful conversation will do it for me (that is if she is truthful) maybe that is why I'm still single who knows.

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Fri 05/08/09 02:22 PM
IM JUST TO SLOW.THEY LOSE INTEREST FIRST..............sad sad sad frustrated frustrated frustrated frustrated frustrated frustrated tears tears tears tears tears tears tears tears tears tears tears tears tears frustrated frustrated frustrated frustrated sad sad tears tears tears tears tears tears tears

JrakaBigred's photo
Fri 05/08/09 02:22 PM
Ok how long had it been

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Fri 05/08/09 02:22 PM
He doesn't seem to be much into touching until I get ready to leave. Then his kisses are sooo hot. But I know that doesn't mean anything. I've met too many guys in the past who can fake what they feel for you just to get you into bed.

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Fri 05/08/09 02:24 PM

Can only say from my experience but for me it is not right away it takes long conversation to really know someone. I might be attracted and interested enough to pursue the relation but to know if she might be the one(or should i say maybe the one) it takes more than simple dates and text messages.

Long honest truthful conversation will do it for me (that is if she is truthful) maybe that is why I'm still single who knows.


This is what I don't get. I feel that we need to spend more time together to get to know each other, but he seems ok with just texting.

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Fri 05/08/09 02:25 PM

Ok how long had it been


We've only seen each other 4 times, but have been emailing or texting (did I mention I hate texting?) for about 3 weeks.

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Fri 05/08/09 02:27 PM

IM JUST TO SLOW.THEY LOSE INTEREST FIRST..............sad sad sad frustrated frustrated frustrated frustrated frustrated frustrated tears tears tears tears tears tears tears tears tears tears tears tears tears frustrated frustrated frustrated frustrated sad sad tears tears tears tears tears tears tears


Well, if he goes any slower, I'm going to have to say "see ya".

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Fri 05/08/09 02:28 PM
When you're 21, a guy moves a bit faster than in his 40's.

Enjoying the travel, not so much the destination.
If you go too fast the trip is over sooner than expected.
If he is contacting you, he is interested.

beauty314's photo
Fri 05/08/09 02:32 PM


Can only say from my experience but for me it is not right away it takes long conversation to really know someone. I might be attracted and interested enough to pursue the relation but to know if she might be the one(or should i say maybe the one) it takes more than simple dates and text messages.

Long honest truthful conversation will do it for me (that is if she is truthful) maybe that is why I'm still single who knows.


This is what I don't get. I feel that we need to spend more time together to get to know each other, but he seems ok with just texting.

He's keeping you at arms length...

no photo
Fri 05/08/09 02:32 PM

I guess I just feel if I ask him this so early in the game, he's going to immediately think I am needy, and totally back off.

I am just looking for a little clue into how the male psyche works.


Hmmm insight into guys psyche is that some know right away, and other don't...

You can feel anyway you want but by not asking the question to him, and seeking advice online your are only going to get biased opinion based off others experiences...

If you are having a difficulty in asking what i consider an easy question, then what are you going to do when more challenging situations occur? IMHO

plus if he backs off based on your question then you really need to think is this the type of person I want to be with?

MirrorMirror's photo
Fri 05/08/09 02:32 PM

Or do most know right away? I've always heard that most guys know fairly quickly if they want to keep seeing a woman or not.

I've just been getting very mixed signals from a guy that I started seeing. We've seen each other a total of 4 times now. Not really dates, just hanging out and talking. We text every day (which I HATE, as I would rather talk on the phone), and he says that he is looking for a real, rest of his life, type of relationship.

We live in the same town, so it would be very easy to get together more often, if he wanted to. So, I am thinking that maybe he doesn't want to. But then why does he keep contacting me?

Could use some insight.....
flowerforyou R U sure that he's straight?flowerforyou

MirrorMirror's photo
Fri 05/08/09 02:34 PM
Edited by MirrorMirror on Fri 05/08/09 02:35 PM
flowerforyou You seem to be fairly attractive so I am wondering if this dude is gay or maybe he is just such a gentleman that he wants you to make the first move (that's rare though).flowerforyou

flowerforyou Are you sure he isnt hiding something?flowerforyou

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Fri 05/08/09 02:42 PM

flowerforyou You seem to be fairly attractive so I am wondering if this dude is gay or maybe he is just such a gentleman that he wants you to make the first move (that's rare though).flowerforyou

flowerforyou Are you sure he isnt hiding something?flowerforyou


He's definitely not gay, and I know he's not married (his son and my daughter are good friends). And he seems like the type that isn't afraid to go after what he wants.

And now that I typed that, I just answered my own question. If he really wanted me, he would be putting more effort into things.

Damn! I really liked this guy too!

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