Choose to help someone by dating them?

That is called pity.

choosing to help a person in need is not the same as choosing to live life in a relationship with someone.

Oh I've helped my share of people with neuroses, phychoses, phobias, dillusions, and multiple other mental health issues. After having my home almost burned down I decided "F*ck No!!! F*ck THAT!!! F*ck THIS!!! NO!!! NO!!! NO!!! You can judge me all you want! I don't give a crap. You can't bait someone into giving an opinion on a question like this then judge them. You don't know these people. The solicitation for pity train went that way-------->

If I was married or dating someone and found out that he had it, if he had kept it from me I'd probably leave... If he just found out then I'd try to stay.. But knowing what I know about that mental disorder, I doubt I'd be able to stay long.. But if he took his meds and made sure that he did everything necessary so that he wouldn't lose it then I'd stay as long as he was doing that...

Family is no contest and I doubt anyone here would have said "no way" if family had been mentioned in the very beginning.. There is a huge difference...

There is also a difference in types of disorders... Bi-polar can be dealt with far easier and safer than schizophrenia...

I wonder if anyone is really catching on here...

One of the common disguises is guilt trips!

Another is being indirect, not to the point so as to not be held accountable for following actions...

Those of you that have dealt with this should know...

Gotcha

agreed Indi.

to me the turning point is disabled. most mental conditions are manageable using medications and theropy. its when it turns from 2 people independent and loving eachother to one compleatly dependent on the other and 90% +/- not even able to love back that the situation changes.

DOH

LOL fooled again.

Oh yeah I've been through this before.

Read my name. Longhairbiker. Not politically correct panders to peoples feelings biker. You want the truth...you get it. You want to be coddled contact politically correct to peoples feelings biker.

thought I was going to have to break open one of those smelling salts ampules...

Welcome back !

Yeah I always forget to look under the mental hood and see if the horsepower is lower than I'm used to..

I tend to give the benifit of the doubt to those I dont know enough to make a judgment call on..... still got me hook line and sinker LOL makes me think of SnL Wanes World *fished in!!*

Interesting discussion. If I understand the question, it is would you consider a relationship with someone who was disabled? By relationship, I think of a dating relationship. So will share my thoughts in that context.

First and foremost, I dislike dating. I am in the 45+ age group, and most of the people I meet have (diagnosed or undiagnosed) issues.

For me, I look at what I have in common with someone - first as friends. If we have similar values, drivers, goals, and are able to challenge one another, it is likely that person and I would become friends. If the friendship and related boundries worked, well, it's possible I'd consider dating someone with schizophrenia, just as I'd consider dating someone with physical disabilities. As it relates to any disability, I'd evaluate the degree (ie: can this person live independently, or frequently in hospital? Is this person managing illness, or self medicating, etc).

Every relationship has terms, and boundries, but I also believe that every new relationship begins with an opportunity for us as a human family to better understand one another.

I have to agree with Princes here......had my bout with a bi-polar guy.....he freaked out......I checked out.
You really never know what people are going to do or not do......kinda like wild animals who have been in captivity, and then decide that it's time to eat you.
I learned from personal experience, you can NOT help a person that doesn't understand what is going on even in their own minds, or take the medication they need!
I recently had to cut off all ties with this man, he has made it a point to make sure that every thing is difficult for me and his children that I am attached to.
So seriously, I have to say......I was in fear of waking up with him over the top of me in the middle of the night....and whatever he had in mind.......Self preservation kicked in!

That would depend on the mental disorder If she isnt dangerous it could be a possibility

Tazz so sorry you had to go through that...

No apologies necessary, had to learn a life lesson, just sorry I couldn't save the children from what they saw the last night they were with me and he freaked out.
And from the crap they have to go through now as well, he still refuses to acknowledge that he needs help.....

But the saving grace is they live with their mother......

I wouldn't be who I am today if I hadn't gone through four years of trying with him......

So, in retrospect, YES I did try to help...but what it comes down to is this:

DO YOU WANT TO CONTINUE WATCHING AND FEELING LIKE YOU CAN'T HELP THEM?

I don't see it much different than a mean alcoholic.. I lived with one, he wasn't mean outright, it was more passive agressive so it took a long time to understand.. Ok well it took until I was thrown into a wall for a couple of hours.. I was dumb enough to give him another chance after we split up. That lead to him not getting his way and trying to choke me to death.. So no I wouldn't put myself nor my son in a situation such as that ever again...

Exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!