Easy solution. Don't date separated men, or men who won't take you to where they live.

I'm sorry you were lied to. Personally, I don't want to be the rebound girl. I also don't want to be a paramour.

Think of this..... he cheated on his wife. Now he's sorry. He did what he did with full knowledge. He will do it to you. To quote Dr. Phil, the best predictor of future behavior is relevant past behavior.

Stay strong. Move on.

yep, now he is calling me like crazy leaving me messages
saying that he will divorce his wife, and he loves me, wants to get back with me, that he is sorry..but I know once a lier always a lier


This is called the 'hoover' technique. You are moving away, he will tell you anything he thinks you want to hear. Be aware, and stay away.

In my book:

Nobody wants to be cheated on so nobody should willingly go out with someone involve even if it is on the brinks not working well. When the relation is over then you can go out.

He lied to you and to his wife, he is a cheater and will stay a cheater, get rid of him before he cheats on you.

I'm married and looking for a relationship. My situation is different. I'm going not out for the sake of cheating. I don't expect people to agree with what I'm doing. You never judge anyone till you walk a mile in their shoes. A person should always be direct and tell the truth. Hurting with honesty is much better than misleading with a lie.

I think you did the right thing. Are you having second thoughts about cutting him lose?

done for sure

Is your spouse helping you find a paramour?

Oh, and ya, hurting with honesty is WAYYYYYYY better. Yeppers. Uh huh.

Great advice!

lilith401,

an illicit lover, oh good lord! lol

Yes the truth sometimes hurts. It's better to tell the truth than to lie. Like it or not. Just my opinion. I guess we shall agree to disagree? LOL

I think it would of been better for him to tell this lady the truth from jump street. Let her decide for her self if she wanted to get involved with him or not.

Does your wife know then? Are you being honest with her from "jump street"? That is my question, which you evaded....

My favorite definition of paramour: One who unlawfully and immorally takes the place of a spouse.

Hell no you wasnt wrong

I am so sorry for your pain. It does hurt and makes it so hard to trust.

Sorry you went through that but I truly think you made the right decision.

it was only a temporary separation. like for the afternoon or the evening?

although there are real situations where couples are separated and independently dating, this was not one of them. you deserve to have some clarity in that department. he and his wife should decide if it is over and if it is a real separation or not.

of course, people whose marriages are in trouble need love too. but at the very least they should be honest.

so - those are the issues as i see them - i would not want to date someone who was not truly separated and not seeking reconciliation.

lilith401,

Yes she knows. You did not ask that directly, I only answer direct questions. lol We have discussed it, Yes, she knows!

Anything else you like ask?

I have left him and never again I will date a man who says he is separated or getting a divorce,
and the last thing I would ask a man is to leave his wife, I will never do something like that.
now he is telling me he will get a divorce, I would feel guilty for him leaving his wife, and afraid he will do to me what he did to her

.

((((Mirror))))

Welcome to the world of azzheads!!! Dumping him was the smartest thing you could have done!!!

Marry him

I would record him and spill the beans to his wife.